


Leaving Kirkwall

by emmabeth



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Anal Sex, Biting, Dark Past, Feels, Fluff and Smut, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Marriage, Outdoor Sex, Romance, Switching, Using Fenris' markings for sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-06 18:22:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8763988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmabeth/pseuds/emmabeth
Summary: Following the events of DA2 Hawke and Fenris leave Kirkwall to get Hawke into hiding from the Divine. At last, after years of hardship, they have a chance to travel together and truly fall in love with one another. Lots of fun and fluff. Sarcastic Male Mage Hawke and Fenris. Of course there is also a lot of smut!





	1. Saying Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first FanFic so I need lots of feeback. Needless to say this is also my first yaoi attempt so I hope I did okay. In the timeline this comes after the Battle at the Gallows (End of DA2) and before the events in Inquisition. Male Hawke (seme) and Fenris (uke). I don't own Dragon Age so dont sue me!
> 
> If I get any positive feedback I plan on doing the next part of the story which is how the lovebirds spend the time before heading to the Inquistion.  
> This is also posted on FanFiction.net.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note: Some people thought that they needed a clearer image of Aiden Hawke. He's tall, dark curly hair and grey eyes. Paleish but not very.

“What are you going to do?” Varric asked, setting down his tankard.  
“Leave.” Aiden Hawke sighed, “If I leave hopefully the Divine will search for me and leave the city alone. If not, then at least it will divide her attention while she searches for me.”  
Varric nodded, it was the sensible thing to do after all, but Hawke had not built his career on sensibility, “And Broody?” he asked, referring to Fenris.  
“I will accompany Hawke of course.” It was the first thing Fenris had said in almost an hour. However, those simple words, that affirmation that it would be a sure thing that Fenris would follow him made Aiden’s stomach flip-flop.  
Fighting the urge to break into a stupid grin Aiden took a gulp of the Hangedman’s finest. The taste was terrible enough to keep Aiden’s smile under check but now his stomach was flip-flopping for a different reason.  
“Am I going with you?” Merril asked sweetly.  
“Better you stay here Merril. The alienage still needs help.” Aveline pointed out. In the days following the battle at the Gallows Merril had been instrumental in helping the elves. She had become their advocate and leader in a way that had surprised Merril most of all.  
“Oh.” She sounded slightly disappointed, “But you’ll be back soon right?”  
“That would be nice.” Aiden said smiling at her. He didn’t want to commit to a promise of returning. The way things were going, he couldn’t even promise that he would be alive much longer.  
“Thank you for doing this Hawke, no one wants to see an Exalted March on Kirkwall.” Donnic said gratefully.  
“Any word on Anders?” Donnic was the first one to say his name since the battle. He was asking Varric of course, even with the chaos around them Varric was still the man with all the answers.  
“No, as far as I know Blondie has totally disappeared.” Varric sighed.  
Hawke wondered if this was true or if Varric was simply covering for Anders. It probably didn’t matter.  
“And Sebastian? Kirkwall doesn’t need an invasion from Starkhaven either.” Aveline asked.  
“Still sulking I am sure.” Varric said with a noncommittal wave of his hand. He definitely knew more but wasn’t sharing just now.  
“Let’s forget that and have a farewell party for the lovebirds.” Isabela signaled to the barkeep that they would need another round.  
Hawke laughed, it was good to have people like Isabela around at times like this. It would have been easy to let the mood grow maudlin but thanks to Isabela, Hawke and Varric the group spent the whole night drinking and laughing together.  
Merrill still cried when Hawke pulled her in for a final hug goodbye but the tears were quickly brushed aside.  
Aiden felt guilty for abandoning them all, for abandoning the city; after all, it was largely his fault that Kirkwall was in such trouble. At a time like this, it felt like the cowards way out to leave.  
“Leaving is the best thing to do.” Fenris said quietly as they exited the Hangedman.  
Sunlight was just starting to turn the night sky pale with the dawn and the streets were completely abandoned. Fenris and Aveline had been the ones to convince Hawke to leave in the first place. They had talked it over going round and round in circular arguments the day before.  
“I know you’re right. I just hate it.” Aiden said.  
Fenris chuckled in his quiet smirking way.  
This was the first time the two of them had been alone in more than a month. Between the busy days leading up to the battle at the Gallows and the chaotic aftermath there hadn’t been any time for private conversations. Plus, there was the definite possibility that Fenris was avoiding him.  
Last time they had been together Fenris had finally confessed his feelings for Aiden. It had probably been the best night and following two days of Hawke’s life. Even though Fenris had enjoyed their time, Hawke had made sure of that, now the air between them was awkward. It was to be expected he supposed, after three years of suppressing feelings and thoughts that they couldn’t simply turn everything around just by one brief conversation. Still, it would be better if they could just talk to each other.  
Although, Hawke was just as guilty of not talking as Fenris, right now he was afraid to open his mouth at all. Afraid that the next thing he said or did would drive Fenris away again.  
Therefore, they walked together in a slightly uncomfortable silence.

 

They arrived at Hawke’s mansion quickly, “Let’s leave in a few hours when it is really morning.”  
Fenris nodded, his eyes looking away, he appeared as if he wanted to say something.  
“Want to come in?” Aiden asked.  
Fenris looked a little surprised but nodded.  
Aiden didn’t waste a moment before opening the door. The mansion was dark and cold by this time. Bodahn and Sandel had left shortly after the battle, the atmosphere in Kirkwall too dark for Bodahn’s liking. Orana and her husband had also left, they had gone back to Ferelden where he had family.  
Hawke led the way to the study where he lit a fire without using magic. By this point Fenris was understanding of Hawke’s magic use but Aiden still hesitated to use it in front of the other man.  
Fenris stood by the fire next to the crouching Hawke and stared into the flames. After lighting the fire, Hawke unabashedly watched Fenris, from his vantage point on the floor he admired the strong face and the shadows playing over it. Fenris really was a devastatingly handsome man, right now his expression was guarded but Hawke could still see subtle clues. The clenched jaw and tired eyes showed a vulnerability underneath the stony air that Fenris often had.  
After the fire was really roaring Hawke began to get impatient. He knew Fenris had something on his mind but it was apparently not coming out anytime soon. It was going to be a very long day and they both needed to get to sleep if nothing else interesting was going to happen.  
“Fen listen,” Hawke began, running a hand through his dark curly hair.  
“Do you want me to go with you?” Fenris finally said. His deep voice spoke so softly Hawke almost didn’t hear him.  
“Of course.” It was an instant reply.  
Fenris sighed, “I wanted to be sure.”  
Hawke stood, he was surprised, “I wouldn’t have asked you to go otherwise.” He was trying for a joke.  
“You didn’t ask me.” Fenris gave him a rather accusatory look.  
Aiden quickly thought through the events of the other day but couldn’t remember who it was that suggested Fenris would go with him. Maybe it had been Aveline? It didn’t really matter to Aiden who had suggested it, he was just glad Fenris was going.  
Hawke smiled, so that’s what all of the brooding tonight was over? Fenris was just feeling needy? It was an absurdly good feeling to have Fenris feeling needy.  
Hawke placed his hands on Fenris’ shoulders, luckily, Fenris didn’t flinch. Physical contact still made him unwary, even at times when he wanted it.  
“I didn’t ask you because you said you would follow me into the future. But I can ask you if it would make you feel better.” He was teasing and he knew he shouldn’t, but he loved doing it.  
Fenris glowered and pushed Hawke’s hands away but he did not step back or run off, which was progress as far as Aiden thought. “I was being serious.”  
“So was I.” Hawke put his hands on Fenris’ hips this time. He held him loosely, despite wanting to hold on tightly and never letting go, he left his grip loose in case Fenris needed to slip away as he had several times before.  
Fenris shook his head, ignoring Hawke’s smug smile, “Just because I said I will go doesn’t mean you have to accept.”  
Hawke grinned and gave Fenris’ hips a little tug, pulling him forward so their bodies were touching. “Couldn’t the reverse also be true? You don’t have to come into exile with me. I have waited for you before and I will again if you would rather stay.” It was true, he knew now that there would never be anyone else for him.  
“No.” Fenris finally touched Hawke, putting his hands on Hawke’s chest. “I want to go with you.” Fenris looked up into Hawke’s eyes, still with a vulnerable look about him that Aiden couldn’t resist.  
“I want that as well.” Aiden began running his fingers over Fenris’ hips, “I know we haven’t worked out all the details yet. Maker knows we probably have a lot to talk about that isn’t very pleasant. For now though, is it enough that we are staying together?”  
Fenris finally smiled back, “Not nearly enough.” He smirked for just a moment before devouring Hawke’s mouth. Fenris was nothing like a gentle lover but that suited Hawke just fine.  
The elf bit his bottom lip rather roughly making Hawke gasp, Fenris took advantage by sliding his tongue into Hawke’s mouth. Their tongues swirled together in a dance, it was not the prettiest kiss, but it was hot and wet, and exactly what both lovers liked. It had been a month since Hawke had last been allowed to indulge in Fenris’ mouth and he lost no time in making up time. He slid his tongue in and out of Fenris’ mouth, gliding his smooth tongue along Fenris’ rougher one. Taking the kiss as permission, Hawke felt like he could grab Fenris as roughly as he wanted, so without hesitation he grabbed his lovers’ ass and squeezed.  
It was Fenris’ turn to gasp, “Upstairs.” He said, his already low voice sounding more like a growl. 

  
They quickly hurried up the stairs. Of course, the bedroom was freezing as well. With an annoyed sigh Hawke bent to fix up the fire, it was easier to get it going now than later.  
“Just use magic.” Fenris said with an impatiently.  
Hawke smiled, glad he wasn’t the only impatient one. Aiden heaped several logs in the cold hearth and with a wave of his hand a strong fire was going. When he turned around Fenris was already nude, sitting on the bed and glaring at Hawke.  
“Hurry up Aiden.” Fenris only called Hawke by his first name when they were together like this.  
Hawke chuckled and quickly began shucking his own clothes. Not willing to wait Fenris jumped off the bed and grabbed Hawke’s pants, yanking them down.  
Fenris smiled and blushed, knowing he was being impatient. This behavior was probably as close as the former slave would come to admitting how much he wanted it.  
Hawke kissed him, glad that he could see a side of Fenris that he wouldn’t show another. Fenris shoved Hawke against the wall and while kissing they both touched and explored the other.  
With a small loving nip at Hawke’s jaw Fenris dropped to his knees. His warm breath on Hawke’s cock made it twitch. Aiden and Fenris hadn’t been together that many times and he could still count the number of times Fenris had used his mouth on him. Zero. That was the number. The elf had never offered a reason why he didn’t want to do it and Hawke hadn’t pressed. So it was an exciting moment when Fenris licked the tip of Hawke’s erection.  
Aiden groaned as Fenris began licking and kissing up and down Hawke’s member, his fingers occasionally stroking Hawke’s sack. Finally he took the cock into his mouth a little tentatively at first, then he began sucking the head in earnest. From his method Hawke guessed that Fenris wasn’t used to doing this, a thought that for which Hawke was relieved. He had never asked if Fenris had been forced to use his body as a slave, Hawke honestly was probably happier not knowing.  
Feeling more confident, Fenris finally took all of Hawke into his mouth and began bobbing up and down. Hawke tried hard not to move his hips, not wanting to choke Fenris, but he grabbed a handful of the white hair and held on.  
Finally Hawke cried out, “Fen, stop. I’m going to.” Hawke moaned.  
Fenris leaned back but not in enough time, as a result Hawke came all over his face and hair. “Sorry.” Hawke sighed, leaning back against the wall. He avoided mentioning how fucking sexy Fenris looked right now.  
“It’s fine.” Fenris said, grabbing Hawke’s discarded shirt to wipe himself clean.  
“Let me return the favor.” Aiden said, feeling a little embarrassed for coming so quickly. He pulled Fenris to his feet and pushed him toward the bed.  
Fenris sat at the edge of the bed, expecting Aiden to get on his knees, it was how he had done it before. This was mostly because Fenris refused to be underneath Hawke at any time. The former slave could not allow someone to pin him down like that, and then being touched while trapped under someone? No, not happening. Aiden didn’t mind being a little creative however if it meant his lover was happy.  
“Not this time.” Aiden grabbed the bottle of salve from his nightstand and flopped down on the middle of the bed face up. “Come here.”  
Fenris raised an eyebrow and knelt on the bed next to Hawke waiting for an explanation. This was also part of their rules, Hawke needed to explain everything new ahead of time so Fenris never felt out of control.  
“Ride my mouth while I prepare you.” Aiden stuck to the pertinent information since Fenris seemed to dislike any dirty talk.  
Fenris eyes widened at what Aiden had suggested but there also was a clear sign of excitement. Hawke noticed that Fenris was already leaking from servicing him earlier but he resisted touching until Fenris decided what was okay.  
With uncertain motions Fenris straddled Hawke’s shoulders.  
“Maker, what a view.” Hawke couldn’t resist grinning up at the beautiful man on top of him.  
“Aiden.” Fenris’ voice was a warning but his green eyes were filled with desire.  
Hawke kept smiling but didn’t say anything else as he helped Fenris get into a position that was comfortable for them both.  
As soon as Fenris was in position Hawke didn’t waste any time. He began licking and teasing Fenris’ cock.  
“Aiden.” This was a breathy sigh, a plea not to tease any longer.  
“You have to make it happen.” Hawke said, moving his hands to Fenris’ ass. “You have all the control.”  
That was enough to spur Fenris into action. Without further ado he pushed himself into Hawke’s smiling mouth.  
Hawke dipped his fingers in the salve that was open and ready and began teasing Fenris’ entrance. With an intense moan of pleasure Fenris surged forward, and began truly mouth fucking Hawke. He grabbed Aiden’s silky curls for purchase as his used his hips to thrust. Aiden was glad, not for the first time, that he was born without a gag reflex. Hawke lost no time before slipping a finger inside of his lover. Fenris was tight as always and he winced a little at the intrusion but the small bit of pain was quickly outweighed by the pleasure he was feeling elsewhere. Aiden put another finger and finally a third. While he had two working like scissors he use the third to find Fenris’ sweet spot.  
Fenris’ mouth fell open with a cry when Hawke touched that spot inside him. After that Fenris came in no time, spilling down Hawke’s throat like they had agreed. He road out his orgasm before sliding off onto the bed next to Hawke. 

  
Hawke let him catch his breath before turning on his side, careful not to lean over Fenris at all, and licked his lover’s neck, enjoying the sweet taste of his sweat. Fenris, eyes still slightly unfocused, turned on his side so he was facing Hawke and then tipped his head up, an invitation to continue. Aiden licked that beautiful Adam’s apple, his tongue running over Fenris’ tattoos.  
The tattoos glowed in response, just a slight flicker, not to the degree where Fenris would feel any pain from his markings.  
“Ready to continue?” Hawke asked, nipping at Fenris’ earlobe, “Or are you too tired?” He teased. Hawke gave a tug on his lover’s cock, which was already half erect again.  
Fenris unexpectedly jerked up and bit Hawke’s muscled shoulder. He would often bite Hawke like that when teased.  
Aiden winced in pain that wasn’t altogether unwelcome, “I take it that means you are ready.”  
With a shove on Hawke’s shoulder’s Fenris shooed him toward the headboard. He never said much while they were doing it, but he always got his point across.  
Smiling stupidly Aiden sat against the headboard with his legs outstretched. Fenris wasted no time before coming over and straddling Hawke. He brought the salve over and began stroking Hawke’s erection with his slickened fingers. Aiden kept kissing and fondling his lover. Not being able to resist he gave a dark nipple a pinch.  
Unexpectedly Fenris groaned and his hips jerked, “Now. Aiden, now.” Fenris was almost whining.  
Hawke felt like cheering from seeing Fenris in such a state, even though he was feeling equally desperate.  
Aiden helped Fenris impale himself. Hawke kept a firm, probably bruising grip on Fenris’ hips while he rode his cock. It was a delicious feeling. Fenris sank his nails into Hawke’s shoulders as he used them for leverage. Riding was something that Fenris was very good at by now even though their first time he hadn’t seemed to know about to do it at all. He lifted himself up and down so that he was enjoying all of Hawke’s ten inches and hitting the sweet spot inside him.  
“Touch me.” Fenris demanded.  
Happy to oblige Hawke began pumping his lover’s cock.  
Aiden kissed Fenris, it was sloppy, wet tongues madly just trying to connect.  
With a final cry of Hawke’s name Fenris came, shooting all over their stomachs. His internal muscles clenched sending Hawke over the edge as well. He came inside Fenris, something that Aiden had been surprised to find that Fenris rather liked.  
Finally spent, Fenris leaned against Hawke, burring his face against Aiden’s neck. Aiden slid himself out of Fenris and held him close. These moments never lasted long, Fenris wasn’t into much cuddling, but Aiden appreciated them while they did last.

 

After what was too short a time in Hawke’s mind Fenris pushed himself away, “If we don’t clean up soon we’ll end up stuck together.”  
“I could think of worse things.” Aiden winked.  
Fenris smiled, “Wouldn’t that be a surprise for the Divine’s troops?”  
Hawke laughed and joined Fenris in cleaning up somewhat before falling back on the bed. He watched Fenris move around the room a little longer, picking up clothes and adding wood to the fire. Would he come back to bed? Or go to his own mansion? Aiden hoped Fenris would come back but he kept his mouth shut.  
Fenris seemed to be debating the idea as he carefully dressed again.  
“You don’t need to do that.” Aiden said as Fenris began picking up and folding Aiden’s clothes.  
Fenris dropped the pants he had been picking up, “I don’t know what I should do.” It was a rare admission.  
“Depends on what you feel like doing.”  
“You are so sure of yourself.”  
“Not really. More like, I act a lot without thinking of the consequences.” Boy was that statement going to lead to a sad conversation Aiden thought. Quickly changing topics back to the present, “You can stay if you want.”  
Fenris nodded and awkwardly climbed in the bed next to Hawke. Fenris was still fully clothed and looked uncomfortable but it was probably a good sign that he was trying.  
“I’ve never slept here.” Fenris said sitting with his knees tucked under his chin.  
Aiden, who had been distracted by how adorable Fenris looked, suddenly realized this was true. The one night they had spent in this room was the night Fenris had ran out on him.  
Slowly Aiden reached out and ran a soothing hand down Fenris’ spine. “It isn’t a bad bed for sleeping. At least it is more comfortable as the cot in your place.” He said with a smile, that damn little bed at Fenris’ mansion was terrible.  
Fenris laughed and relaxed some. Aiden stretched out and rolled onto his stomach for sleep, letting Fenris go at his own pace. It was not until long after Hawke had fallen asleep that Fenris slid back out of his clothes and crawled beneath the covers of the bed. He didn’t sleep touching Hawke, but he was close enough to feel the warmth and that pleased him.


	2. On the road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the road Hawke and Fenris have a talk about the past and have some steamy sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the comments I have gotten I was inspired to write! Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

Chapter 2

Aiden woke up at midday feeling ridiculously happy even though he was about to leave Kirkwall for an undefined amount of time. Fenris was still sleeping; one arm thrown over his face to block out the light filling up the room, Hawke felt a mixture of pride and embarrassment at the marks covering his lover’s body from their activities earlier.  
He sighed at the thought of leaving, it still felt wrong to abandon the city after all the chaos he had created. If it wasn’t for his friends telling him to go and Fenris leaving with him, Hawke would be staying.  
Looking around the room, he was saddened to realize he may never see it again. Kirkwall had become home, a crazy and frustrating home, but it was still his.  
“I thought I was the brooding one.” Fenris said dryly.  
Hawke jumped, he hadn’t heard Fenris wake up. He had scooted over so he was sitting next to Aiden. “Good point. I don’t want to steal your job.” Hawke chuckled.  
Fenris kissed Hawke’s shoulder where his bite mark from earlier had already turned into a violent shade of purple, “Sorry.”  
It was a rare display of affection from the elf, and it was an arrow to Aiden’s heart. Gloomy thoughts were immediately replaced with warm gushy ones. Before Hawke had a chance to respond Fenris was already up and getting dressed, no sign of the tenderness.  
“I’ll meet you at the city gate in an hour.” Fenris said with a brisk nod before quickly leaving.  
Aiden had no choice but to laugh as his lover ran away. It was always interesting with Fenris, never a dull moment.

 

Hawke’s gear was already packed for the journey. Aiden looked at the four staves in the back of the wardrobe. His father’s staff, Malcom’s Honor was one of the few things of his father’s that had made the trip to Kirkwall from Lothering. Aiden had never used the staff, the naked woman at the top was a total of a turn off for him. Malcom had claimed it was supposed to be Andraste but Aiden didn’t buy that story for a minute. Bethany’s staff, just a simple rough carved staff she had worked weeks on, was also there. The third staff the key to Corypheus’ prison, it had become a staff when Hawke had activated the seals around the prison. There were terrible memories in that staff, Hawke hadn’t used it since, but it was too valuable to let go. The last staff was Hawke’s own, Freedom’s Promise, he had crafted it after arriving back from the Deep Roads so many years ago now.

  
With a solemn nod farewell to Bethany’s and his father’s staves Hawke grabbed Freedom’s Promise and shut the wardrobe door. Varric had promised to look after the mansion so Aiden felt safe leaving those precious memento’s behind. The only thing left to do was say goodbye to his mother’s ghost. Leandra lingered in almost every room in the house, and Aiden didn’t have the energy or courage to banish the remnants. With sad eyes, he glanced at his mother’s portrait and said a silent farewell.  
Outside it was a beautiful sun shiny sort of day that was in juxtaposition with the heavy grey feeling inside Hawke’s heart. He locked the door to the mansion and slid the key back under the door so it waited inside. Varric had a key of his own and there was no point in Aiden carrying the key around for however long this business took. Hawke ran his fingers over the wood door, reluctant to let go. Nevertheless, with a sorrowful smile he pushed off, finally breaking contact.

 

People whispered and pointed as he walked out through Hightown. Luckily, no one stopped him and he was able to peacefully make his way to the gates leading out to Wounded Coast. The plan was to make it as far as Ostwick before taking a boat to Rivain. It was well known that the people of Rivain were not heavily Andrastian and would be more likely to look the other way at someone such as Hawke in their midst. In addition, the lack of suspicious Templars was a big bonus for an apostate such as himself.  
First however, was the journey to Ostwick. Taking a boat directly out of Kirkwall would be dangerous for any crew if there was retribution from the Divine later. Hopefully, no one in Ostwick would recognize him and he could book a peaceful passage to Rivain.  
Although as far as avoiding notice goes, maybe Fenris wasn’t the best travelling companion. Hawke smiled on seeing him, wrapped in a dark cloak, looking like quite the badass leaning against a signpost in the shadows of a tree. Fenris might not be aware of the attention he was attracting, maybe he just didn’t care, all the busy traffic seemed to slow down and look at him. The clouds shifted in the sky and the sun shone on Fenris’ white hair, which was stirred slightly in the breeze.  
“What are you grinning about?” Fenris asked, as always, he sounded annoyed with Hawke.  
Aiden didn’t mind his lover’s tone but he didn’t dare admit that Fenris’ was the reason for the smile. “Just thinking this was a great day for traveling.”  
“Are you sure we can’t use horses?” Fenris grumbled as the two started walking away.  
“You know how I feel about horses.” Aiden said, slightly embarrassed to still have a fear of them.  
Fenris made a noncommittal annoyed sound and said nothing more.  
As they walked away from Kirkwall Hawke took one final look back at the city, from a distance it actually looked rather pretty. Aiden gave it a wave, a promise to return.  
“What are you doing?” Fenris said turning around and noticing that Aiden had stopped.  
“Nothing.”

 

The two of them camped out that night, the weather was good and neither of them felt like it was worth hurrying their pace to get to the next inn. The fresh food supplies that they had brought with them made for a rather tasty dinner. After the meal Fenris pulled out a book, he had become quite the proficient reader, and Hawke laid back to look at the sunset.  
“I feel surprisingly content.” Aiden said after a time. It was full dark by now and the stars were twinkling above. Neither of them had said anything for a time, the awkward air between them for the last month seemed to be gone for good.  
“I’m glad.” Fenris said without looking up from his book.  
“I think it is because you are here.” Aiden propped up on his elbows to look at Fenris, thinking the elf was rather dashing in the firelight.  
“Really?” Fenris said with a tone that said he didn’t really believe Hawke.  
“Really.” Aiden said firmly, “If you weren’t here I’m sure I would be very maudlin at this moment.”  
Fenris put a thumb in his book to mark his place before lowing it so he could look at Hawke. He must have seen something in Hawke’s gaze because he suddenly looked flustered, “Aiden, you can’t be serious. We are outside!” Fenris scolded.  
Just his first name on Fenris’ lips had Hawke excited. He shouldn’t have been surprised that Fenris figured him out so easily. “We aren’t directly on the road or anything. No one is walking by.”  
“It is because we aren’t on the road that we could be attacked at any time. We both know the Wounded Coast isn’t safe, seems like we could hardly leave the city without being set upon by bandits these last few years.”  
Hawke sat up, “Hush.” He held up a hand a made a show of looking around. “Nope, no bandits!”  
Fenris gave Hawke a long look, “Forget it Aiden.” Then he picked his book back up and made it clear the conversation of possible sex was over.  
With a dramatic sigh Hawke laid back down, “Maybe we should have tried to make it to the inn.”  
“I would have said no if we were there as well.”  
“Why?” Hawke rolled to his side.  
“I have yet to see an inn with walls thicker than paper. Think of the Hangedman, every single noise from upstairs could be heard.”  
With a roguish grin Hawke replied, “So you are just afraid you couldn’t keep your voice down?”  
Fenris quickly hit the top of Hawke’s head with the hard cover of the book as way of a reply.  
Aiden grinned again but didn’t say anything more, it wouldn’t be worth really upsetting Fenris.

  
Maybe a half hour passed before Fenris put his book down. Hawke thought this would be a signal for bed but instead Fenris turned to face him with a guarded expression.  
“You really like sex don’t you?”  
“Yes.” It was an immediate response but Aiden was worried about where the conversation might be leading.  
“During those three years after I left your side, did you sleep with anyone?”  
“No.”  
Fenris nodded, “Varric told me that you were ‘living like Sebastian’, his expression, not mine.” He rubbed his hands together, a nervous habit that he seldom showed, “I just have trouble believing it.”  
Aiden sighed thinking of how to explain, “It’s true that I like sex. However, I guess I am one of those people that only like doing it with someone I really care for. During those years, there wasn’t anyone else in my heart besides you so I didn’t want anyone else in my bed either.”  
Fenris looked rather sad and replied quietly, “It wasn’t that way for me.”  
Hawke nodded, he knew that during their time apart Fenris had visited the Blooming Rose more than a few times. “I understand. What is important to me is that there hasn’t been anyone since our reconciliation.”  
“There hasn’t!” Fenris practically shouted and then looked embarrassed.  
“That’s fine then.” Hawke smiled.  
“There is something more I want to clear up with you however.” Fenris said, not making eye contact.  
“Is this one of those things we really need to talk about but have been avoiding because we both hate these kinds of conversations?”  
“Yes.” Fenris still wasn’t making eye contact.  
“Go ahead then.” Hawke motioned for Fenris to get on with it. It was true that neither of them handled heavy conversations well, probably why it had taken them so long to get together in the first place let alone reconcile.  
“I think you have misunderstood something about my time with Danarius.”  
Hawke was surprised, it was seldom that Fenris mentioned his old master and even then, he usually had to be roaring drunk.  
“Of course I don’t remember anything before receiving my markings,” Fenris was looking at the ground while he traced the markings on his hands, “Since I can remember however, I know that I was never raped.”  
Aiden wasn’t sure what kind of expression he was showing, he was trying for a stoic look, but stoic had never been his strong point. Of course, he was relieved to hear that Fenris had never suffered in that regard but it also seemed like an empty consolation considering everything Fenris had endured.  
“He was impotent.” Fenris continued, “Part of why he was so cruel I expect. Even with all his so-called power he couldn’t get it up. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch me either in that regard. Just the idea of someone else having sex would send him into a rage.” Fenris paused for a long minute, deep in thought before continuing, “I think that somehow you thought that I had…” Fenris waved a hand letting the silence fill in the blanks, “Anyway, I wanted you to know.”  
“Thank you for telling me.” It was the only thing Aiden could think of saying. In some ways, it raised a lot more questions than it answered, but he was truly glad that Fenris had told him. It was very nice to know that he was trusted, and that even sober Fenris could speak to him.

  
“You’ve never complained about my way of doing things.” Fenris continued.  
“Such as?” Aiden wasn’t really paying attention to Fenris meaning, still thinking of the confession that had just been made.  
“During sex.” Fenris clarified, making sure that this time Hawke met his eyes so he knew Hawke was paying attention.  
“What would I complain about?”  
Fenris suddenly was blushing furiously, “When I was at the Rose… I didn’t realize that not letting you be behind me or over the top of me… Normally men do things in more positions than I…”  
Just watching Fenris blush had all the blood rushing to Hawke’s head, now he was trying to stay focused. Fuck yes he had thought about flipping Fenris on his back and pounding into him until there was no tomorrow. Moreover, the idea of Fenris on all fours in front of him, face down and ass up, was a favorite fantasy. For a long time however, Hawke had known that neither of those images were likely to ever be materialized. The first time they had kissed started with Hawke pinning Fenris against the wall, Fenris had been quick however to turn the situation around so that he was the one doing the pinning. Honestly, as long as Hawke made Fenris happy, Hawke didn’t really care what position they were doing it in.  
Aiden picked his next words carefully, “You are allowed to have preferences. If you like to do it a certain way who cares how other people do it?” Hawke said firmly.  
“I don’t trust people behind me, it makes me nervous when I can’t see someone. Then being underneath someone, it just brings back too many memories of beatings and the like…” Fenris sighed and ran a hand through his gorgeous hair, “Aren’t you just giving up on your own preferences because you think I have this traumatic past?”  
You still have a traumatic past, even if it doesn’t include rape, Hawke thought. “Not really, I have been very satisfied with the way we do things.”  
“I don’t want you to spoil me out of pity.”  
“What if it’s not out of pity?” The line rolled off Hawke’s tongue before he could think of holding it back.  
Fenris flushed again and looked embarrassed, “I don’t even know how you can say things like that.”  
Aiden smiled, feeling on more familiar ground with Fenris looking embarrassed from what he thought was teasing. “Does that mean I was your first kiss?”  
Fenris’ eyebrows shot up and he looked very flustered, “I still don’t know anything about my life from before.” He said crossing his arms and looking indignant.  
There was a very pleasant feeling from the idea that he had been Fenris’ first at everything. Smiling again, he leaned in for a kiss but Fenris quickly jerked away from him.  
Aiden knew Fenris well enough by now to not be bothered by the reaction. “I think I’ll turn in for the night.” Aiden said without making a fuss.  
Fenris however, grabbed hold of Hawke’s sleeve, “You don’t have to give up so easily.” He muttered.

  
Not having to be told twice Hawke leaned forward for the kiss he wanted. It started sweet, a gentle caressing of lips. Fenris really did have amazingly soft lips, Hawke licked them making them open for him. Fenris’ tongue on the other hand wasn’t smooth, it felt rough like a cat’s tongue and Hawke loved licking it. Aiden made no move to grab Fenris but kept his hands as his sides, Fenris had no such reservations however. He grabbed the small hairs at the back of Hawke’s neck and pulled him closer.  
Aiden cupped Fenris’ chin in one hand and ran another hand through Fenris’ hair. He loved the soft feel of the white hair, it felt like silk under his calloused fingertips.  
Each was gasping for breath they broke apart. “We’d better stop there.” Hawke said with satisfied smile. Anymore action and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop.  
Fenris managed to give Hawke a haughty look despite his flushed face and swollen lips, “I told you not to give up so easy.” He pulled Hawke to him again, fists clenched in the fabric of Hawke’s shirt.  
You’re going to be the death of me, Hawke thought as their mouths engaged in another round. After properly kissing his lover a second time Hawke began kissing his way up Fenris’ strong jaw. When he tried to bite Fenris’ ear however, the spiky armor that Fenris always wore stabbed Hawke’s cheek.  
“Ouch!” Aiden rubbed his cheek expecting to see blood. There wasn’t any of course but Fenris looked amused.  
They both laughed and quickly removed Fenris’ armor so they could continue. On their knees facing each other, they began kissing again, and Hawke could easily slide his hands down Fenris’ pants to massage his tight ass. Filling his hands with each cheek, he pulled Fenris close so there erections could rub against one another through the fabric of their clothes while he rocked their hips. Fenris was marking his way down Hawke’s neck, leaving possessive marks that would be visible tomorrow no doubt.  
“No more.” Fenris said with a groan.  
For a second Hawke thought Fenris was saying no to sex altogether and he almost cried.  
“Tell me you brought some lubricant.” Fenris said clarifying that he meant it was time to move on to something more.  
Had the word “lubricant” always sounded so sexy? Hawke wondered.  
“Of course.” Hawke hurried to get up and find his travel gear. In fact, Fenris would probably kick his ass if he found out how much of Hawke’s bag was full of items for their sex life.  
Thankfully, Fenris hadn’t moved an inch and was still on his knees, waiting for Hawke. His hair was completely mussed, shirt hanging out, and pants threatening to fall down at any second, in short, he looked like Hawke’s perfect wet dream.  
“If I told you that you look gorgeous would you listen?” Hawke asked, dropping back to his knees.  
“Absolutely not.” Fenris said biting down hard on Hawke’s collarbone, biting like that happened whenever he felt teased in bed.  
Hawke just chuckled even as he winced. Fenris licked his bite in a semi-apologetic way.  
Aiden pushed Fenris’ pants all the way down and coated his fingers in the lubricant before massaging them between Fenris’ cheeks. When he finally reached Fenris’ entrance Fenris whimpered in Hawke’s ear.  
Absolutely the death of me, Hawke thought as he rubbed and teased.  
Fenris lost his patience, pushed Aiden flat on his back, and climbed on top of him. Hawke was doubly surprised when Fenris pushed his own finger into his ass.  
Cursing, Hawke tried to stay calm so he didn’t blow right away.  
“Aiden.” Fenris moaned as he fingered himself.  
“Damnit.” Hawke groaned.  
“Wait, you have to come inside me.” Fenris ordered.  
Luckily, Fenris was ready and he carefully lowered himself on Hawke’s length. Fenris’ hands were on Hawke’s shoulders, pinning him down completely. Fenris’ strong legs held him in place while he began slowly riding. Every time Aiden tried to move his own hips Fenris would clamp down and make Hawke stop.  
Hawke ran his hands over Fenris’ smooth skin, now coated in a slight sheen of sweat. Every time his fingertips crossed over the lyrium markings they would flicker and glow and make Fenris’ groans of pleasure turn to growls. Hawke teased Fenris’ nipples, his lover had never shown any sensitivity there until last night. However, today he seemed to enjoy Aiden pinching and rolling them between his thumb and finger. Unable to resist Hawke sat up so he could lick the dark pert nipple. Fenris wasn’t going to stand for that however, and he pushed Hawke back down with a firm shove.  
Aiden laughed as Fenris pushed him away, he really did like it when Fenris was forceful with him. “Come here.” Aiden motioned Fenris down for a kiss.  
In a rare act of concession, Fenris moved and the angle change made him moan. Aiden was able to move his own hips better in this position and he thrust into Fenris while Fenris rode him. The night was full of the sound of fucking and moaning, better sounds Hawke had never heard.  
Aiden began rubbing the head of Fenris’ leaking cock.  
“Don’t.” Fenris complained.  
“Why not? Doesn’t it feel good?” Hawke teased.  
Fenris just groaned in reply.  
With strong strokes up and down Fenris’ cock, Fenris came shooting into Hawke’s hand. Aiden came inside Fenris loving the way Fenris’ internal muscles clamped down around him.  
They lay together for a while, Fenris unabashedly lay his head on Hawke’s chest. Aiden enjoyed the moments when he was able to hold Fenris. Due to his traumatic past Fenris did not like being held in most circumstances.  
“Time to get ready for sleep.” Fenris finally said pushing himself off Aiden.  
“Or we could go for round two?” Aiden said a little hopefully.  
“Idiot. I’ll never be able to walk all the way to Ostwick if we do it multiple times a day.” Fenris said cleaning himself up.  
Hawke grinned at the idea but made sure Fenris couldn’t see it. “I could carry you.”  
Fenris had found his book again and crashed it down on top of Hawke’s head.


	3. A little trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still en route to Ostwick, Fenris and Hawke continue their trip together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get to a little fighting in this chapter. Not very easy for me to write, I hope it turned out ok.

“Let’s stay in an inn tonight.” Hawke suggested.  
“Why? We’ll be in Ostwick the day after tomorrow.”  
“We’ve been on the road for six days now, and done a pretty good job of keeping hidden but we need to drop some clues about our leaving Kirkwall or this will all be pointless. Besides, a hot bath sounds fantastic.” Moreover, there was the fact that Fenris had refused to have sex out of doors again and Hawke wanted some sexy time with his lover. Wisely, he kept that last idea to himself for now.  
“I agree you do need a bath.” Fenris gave him a teasing look.  
“Hey!” Aiden pretended to pout and they were both smiling when they entered what looked like a rather respectable inn.  
The ground floor was taken up with a tavern, very clean and reputable looking patrons looked curiously at the two rough travelers who had just entered. It was true what Aiden had said earlier, they needed some rumors about his location to reach the ears of the Divine’s people so that they didn’t storm into Kirkwall looking for him. However, they needed to do it carefully; Hawke didn’t want to be caught after all.  
Aiden didn’t give his real name to the innkeeper, he didn’t want there to be any Templars knocking on his door in the middle of the night, but he made sure that they stayed talking long enough for everyone to get a good look. Fenris let Hawke do all the talking and simply glared at everyone who looked their way.  
Once the room accommodations had been arranged, as well as a hot bath and meal, Aiden went upstairs, Fenris following Hawke like a grumpy shadow.

The room was simple, a large bed, small table and chairs, a tiny window in the corner let in the last of the light from the sunset, and a roaring fire was already blazing in the grate. They were hardly through the door before Aiden pulled Fenris into his arms.  
Hawke let his tongue convey his eagerness, licking the inside of the elf’s hot and wet mouth.  
Fenris wasn’t immune to such an onslaught and indulged for a moment in his lover’s embrace before pushing Aiden away, far too soon to the mage’s way of thinking.  
“The servant will be up any moment.” Fenris said scolding, but the effect was rather lost because he looked flushed and breathless.  
“Shit.” Hawke had already forgotten the bath and food on their way up to the room.  
“I should have known this was all that was on your mind when you wanted to stay here.” Fenris said with a long-suffering sigh.  
“Not the only thing on my mind.” Aiden said defensively.  
“But it was at the top of your list.” Fenris guessed.  
Aiden was saved from answering by a tap at the door, the food was brought in and servants began filling a large tub that they brought into the room. Hawke was sure to tip them generously and thank them before they disappeared.  
“You bathe first, I want to eat.” Fenris commanded.  
Sadly, the tub was much too small for sex, ruining one of Hawke’s goals for the night. So he happily followed Fenris’ order and dipped into the bath. It felt good to get into the steaming water and soak away the dirt from the road.  
“Don’t stay in too long, I want to get in while it is still hot.” Fenris reminded.  
“I can warm it up again easily.” Hawke said rubbing soap over his body.  
Fenris made a noncommittal response about use of magic, which was a vast improvement over when they had first met.

  
When Hawke got out of the bath Fenris was very seriously digging in his bag for something, back toward Aiden.  
Hawke had been hoping to give his lover a little show, but it seemed like that wasn’t happening. So, with a rueful smile he began drying off near the fire. “The bath is ready.”  
“I’ll get to it.” Fenris said gruffly.  
“I need to know how hot you like it.” Hawke said, obviously trying to seduce the elf.  
Fenris didn’t turn around, “You are very persistent.”  
“You told me not to give up so easily.”  
Fenris looked surprised, but then a small smile appeared on the corners of his lips. Dropping his bag, he turned and walked toward Hawke.  
“You weren’t really looking for anything in there, were you?” Hawke asked with a grin.  
“No, I just knew you would be over here, showing off.”  
Aiden had wrapped the towel around his hips so it did the bare minimum to cover his private bits. He grinned, Fenris had been right about the showing off.  
“Turn around.” Fenris ordered as he started taking off his own clothes.  
Hawke made a dramatic sigh but did as he was told. There was a small splash a moment later and Fenris sighed in contentment.  
“Can I turn around yet?” Aiden asked.  
“It’s fine.” Fenris allowed.  
Hawke turned but avoided ogling his sexy wet lover. “Want me to heat it a bit? The water has cooled considerably.” By the end of Aiden’s bath, the water was mostly room temperature.  
“The water is fine, you don’t need to warm it.” Fenris said with a tone that said he didn’t want to discuss the matter further.  
Hawke would have been lying if he said that it didn’t hurt somewhat how mistrusting Fenris was of his magic. It seemed to be an insurmountable obstacle between the two of them. However, Aiden tried not to dwell on it, Fenris had come a long way from the night they met. Yet, it still stung.  
“Alright. I’ll have some food then.” Aiden shook off his heavy feelings and turned to find his clothes.  
Fenris sighed and ducked his head under water once. He came back up sputtering, “Fine! Just a little warmer.” He said through almost clenched teeth.  
Aiden was surprised, “I didn’t think it was that cold.” He put his fingers in, expecting it to be icy cold from Fenris’ reaction. Interestingly it wasn’t cold.  
Did you change your mind because you could tell I wasn’t happy? And then had to dunk yourself to work up your courage? Hawke wondered as he used a warming spell in the water. Fenris was avoiding eye contact and looking damned uncomfortable but the tips of his ears had turned red. Clearly, he was feeling embarrassed. Aiden wanted to throw his arms around the elf, the poor man was really trying very hard, wasn’t he?  
“Thank you.” Aiden said simply.  
“Don’t think that looking like a kicked puppy will mean you always get your way.” Fenris warned, but he didn’t sound truly upset.  
In response to the magic being used around them, the lyrium markings began to glow and shimmer. “Does it hurt?” Hawke asked, he knew that that level of glowing shouldn’t hurt, but he felt guilty knowing it was his magic making it happen.  
“It’s nothing.” Fenris said, “The water is warm enough now.” Steam was curling off the surface of the water, caressing their faces.  
“Can I wash your hair?” Hawke asked, leaning his chin on the edge of the tub.  
Fenris looked shocked, “No!”  
“What if I look like a kicked puppy again?”  
“Never.” Fenris said, ignoring Hawke and grabbing the bar of soap.  
“You said I could spoil you as long as it wasn’t out of pity.”  
Fenris paused a moment and thought, “I am sure you are misquoting me. I don’t want to be spoiled at all. You are already spoiled enough for the both of us.”  
The remark might have been biting but Fenris said it with a self-satisfied grin on his face, that said that he thought that Hawke wasn’t completely insufferable.

 

Hawke ate his meal while Fenris lounged in the bath, thanks to Hawke’s spell, the water stayed hot no matter how much time passed.  
Fenris was dozing dreamily in the water, eyes no longer open and his breathing evened out.  
Crouching down by the tub Aiden reached out a hand to gently wake Fenris before he fell deeply asleep in the tub.  
Fenris’ eyes shot open with a look of pure fury in them, the look shocked Hawke and his hand froze mid-air. Fenris grabbed Hawke’s wrist in a crushing grip and shoved him away so Hawke fell back on his butt.  
Hawke sat on the flood too stunned to say anything. Fenris’ blinked a few times and the fire in his eyes vanished to be replaced with remorse.  
“I’m sorry.” He said, his voice low.  
Aiden didn’t move off the floor just yet, “Did I startle you?”  
Fenris nodded and began shuddering. Slowly, Aiden knelt beside the tub, almost face to face with the other man.  
“I nearly-” Fenris said, his voice full of pain, “I almost-” He tried taking deep breaths but they just rattled through him, “I was half asleep and I could have.” It wasn’t the first time that Fenris had attacked Aiden while half asleep. Years ago, before the two had become an item, something similar had happened while camping out on the Wounded Coast with the team, but it had been much more disastrous. Hawke’s body still carried a scar from where Fenris had used a knife to attack him. At the time, Fenris had explained that there were times, upon waking, that he truly felt as if he was back in his old life again, fighting just to stay alive.  
“You didn’t hurt me.” Aiden desperately wanted to hold him, but knew that he needed to wait until Fenris was feeling more in control.  
After a minute or two, Fenris’ shudders had subsided and his breathing was calm again. He looked at Aiden, still waiting patiently and sighed. “You are such a fool staying with me.”  
Hawke would have responded but Fenris grabbed his face and occupied his mouth with a forceful kiss. The upset of the past moment was quickly forgotten, as Fenris demanded Hawke’s entire attention in the here and now.

  
Hawke leaned over the tub, ignoring the splash that got his fresh clothes wet.  
After a moment, Fenris pushed against Hawke’s chest however, pushing him away. Aiden immediately saw the problem, from this position, Fenris was trapped between the wall of the tub and Hawke’s body.  
“Let’s go to the bed shall we?” Aiden suggested.  
Fenris nodded, looking relieved when Hawke understood the problem. The elf stood up in the tub, hot water streaming off his body and Aiden’s mouth wetted at the sight. Standing in the tub Fenris was slightly taller than Hawke, it was an exciting change of pace.  
“Hand me a towel.”  
“Hmm.” Aiden didn’t really listen. He ran his fingertips over Fenris’ wet body, tracing his delectable collarbone, dark nipples, chiseled abs, his slim hips, and of course, his beautiful cock.  
“Enjoying yourself?” Fenris asked with a wry smile.  
“I know you don’t believe me, but you really are very breathtaking.”  
“And yet, you have plenty of breath for talking when we could be doing something else.”  
Hawke laughed, “You are also very seductive.”  
They were enjoying themselves, kissing and groping when they heard the person in the room next door have a coughing fit.  
Fenris’ stopped and his eyes narrowed, “Thin walls. I told you Aiden.” The first night they had been on the road Fenris had mentioned that having sex in an inn would be not possible because of the thin walls.  
Hawke would not be stopped at this point however, “We can do it quietly.” He promised with a kiss.  
Fenris arched a brow, showing his disbelief, but he didn’t stop Hawke.

 

They ended up on the bed, Hawke sat up, legs in front of him and Fenris on his knees, straddling Hawke’s lap. Slowly Hawke began kissing Fenris, teasing his mouth with light pressure, and leaning back when Fenris tried to assert more. Fenris’ lips were soft and plump, and every time Hawke kissed them, they parted slightly, asking for more. Aiden finally relented and gently sucked Fenris’ bottom lip, surprised and pleased to hear Fenris whimper.  
“Aiden, you’re teasing me again.” Fenris complained, his eyes were swimming with lust and something surprisingly like fondness. Hawke stroked Fenris back, the still damp skin shivered under his gentle fingers.  
“It feels good sometimes to be gentle doesn’t it?” Aiden asked, lightly kissing Fenris’ strong jaw.  
Fenris groaned softly, tilting his head to ask for more, “It’s strange.”  
It was true that during their time together they had not done anything gentle with each other. They both preferred rough sex with little foreplay and so soft gentle loving had not been explored yet. However, Aiden sometimes wanted the chance to make love slowly and thoroughly like this.  
Moving his head down Hawke kissed Fenris’ collarbone, avoiding the lyrium marks. Fenris shivered again and by the time Hawke’s lips reached Fenris’ hardened nipples the elf was almost purring.  
“Aiden.” Fenris sighed his lovers name, his fingers weaving their way into Hawke’s dark curly hair.  
Hawke began sucking on Fenris’ nipple, focusing on using his tongue. Fenris’ reactions were amazing and Hawke was becoming more excited by the moment.  
However, Fenris pushed roughly at Hawke’s shoulders getting his full attention.  
Aiden looked up into eyes that were still filled with lust, but there was also worry there now. “What is it?”  
“This is too much.” Fenris chewed his lip, looking very small suddenly. “Just do it like normal. I can’t take this.” Fenris clenched his eyes shut, blocking out Hawke.  
Gently, Aiden pulled Fenris into an embrace and held him still for a moment. He hadn’t realized that tenderness would be this difficult for the elf. “It’s alright.” He said soothingly, petting Fenris’ white hair.  
Fenris finally opened his eyes again, and Hawke was very relieved to see his own face reflected back in them. Fenris gave Hawke a hesitant kiss, his lips slightly missing their mark.  
Aiden kissed back, using their usual level of ferociousness. It was with relief that Fenris responded, his teeth biting down on Hawke’s bottom lip.  
Their usual energy back, the two lovers kissed and fondled one another. It wasn’t long before they were both fully erect and ready for more. Aiden pulled Fenris forward so that he was leaning on him and began preparing Fenris.  
Fenris had no choice but to cling to Hawke, trying hard to suppressing his voice. It was disappointing to Aiden, Fenris wasn’t very vocal during sex so Hawke had to enjoy every moan that Fenris let escape. However, maybe because of trying to hold his voice back, Fenris was shuddering every time Hawke’s talented fingers moved inside him, and along with every shudder his nails and teeth went deeper into Hawke.

  
Fenris was always tight, the simple size difference of elf and human meant that Hawke had to take extra care preparing his lover. His first two fingers slid in without much difficulty. He thrust them in and out, deliberately getting close, but not too close to Fenris’ sweet spot. It was a kind of teasing that Fenris understood, but he still couldn’t help shake his hips, thrusting them back against Hawke’s fingers. Aiden took his time pushing in his third finger, enjoying every shudder of pleasure from his lover.  
The air became thick with the smell of their bodies. The smell was the fresh soap from the bath, but also those smells that were unmistakably belonging to them. Hawke breathed in behind Fenris ear, it was hard to describe what exactly Fenris smelled like, something like cold iron but also something warm and sweet as well, like almond cakes.  
“Aiden.” Fenris pleaded with just one word, but it was all the direction Hawke needed.

  
Slowly Hawke slipped inside Fenris, enjoying the velvety heat and the way Fenris constricted around him. Fenris let out a strangled cry, biting down on his lip as he enveloped Hawke entirely. They paused for a moment then, letting Fenris adjust to the size of Hawke’s cock, once Fenris relaxed they were a perfect fit together.  
“Now put your hands behind you and lean back on them.” Aiden coaxed.  
Fenris frowned, not totally at ease with trying new things. However, he didn’t object and put his hands back on Hawke’s knees and leaned back putting all his weight on Hawke.  
Aiden shifted Fenris legs so that they were bent up at the knee and he could grab the back of Fenris’ thighs. The angle shift meant that Hawke was as deep as he could go inside Fenris, and all of Fenris’ weight was impaling him on Hawke’s cock.  
Fenris grit his teeth and cursed in Tevene.  
“Want to try a different positon?” Hawke asked, concerned that Fenris wasn’t pleased to have Hawke in so deep.  
“No.” Fenris clenched his insides tight around Hawke, obviously not letting go.  
Aiden, satisfied that Fenris was all right, used his grip on Fenris to push and pull him on Hawke’s length.  
Fenris actually growled at the motion, unused to having Hawke stay so deep. The growl startled Hawke so that he stopped moving for a moment. Fenris, face flushed, glared at Hawke. Pushing back on his arms, he pushed his own hips forward in the same motion Hawke had been doing.  
The bed made the most noise as the two men had sex, each holding back their own moaning. Distantly, Hawke was aware that their neighbors were going to have no illusions about what was going on in here. Honestly though, Hawke didn’t give a damn.  
Both bodies now gleamed with sweat and the room felt uncomfortably warm. The slick sound of Fenris insides was intoxicating. In this position, neither man was touching Fenris’ cock, and it wept from the lack of attention. However, the thought of Fenris cumming from just the feelings in his ass was very arousing. When they were both getting close, Hawke started pulling Fenris in circles instead of simply back and forth.  
Fenris’ head fell back and he couldn’t help moaning Hawke’s name. Then his whole body convulsed as he orgasmed, his hot cum spraying them both. A couple of firm thrusts and Aiden let loose inside Fenris, filling the elf’s insides.  
The two men lay next to each other on the bed, both panting.  
“I need another bath.” Fenris finally said.  
“Me too.” Hawke agreed.  
“You are banished from the room while I bathe this time.” Fenris said with a smile.  
“I can’t help it that you are irresistible.”  
“Of course you can’t.” Fenris smirked, “That’s why I’m kicking you out.”

 

The next morning the lover’s got a slow start on the road, it was a grey day with mizzle in the air along with occasional patches of fog. However, Hawke’s mood was so exuberant that he was almost bouncing as they walked on. Fenris grumbled about the weather and drew his cloak closer to himself.  
Soon they should reach Ostwick and be able to find a passage to Rivain. It was good that thus far, there had been no incidents on the road, but both men knew that their good luck would not last.  
After lunch time Hawke was very disappointed to see that their luck wouldn’t even get them to Ostwick.  
Beside the road was an overturned cart and two men trying to set it right. After years of being set upon by bandits, Hawke could recognize a trap when he saw one. However, there was sadly no way around the cart that didn’t make more trouble. Because of the low visibility due to the mist, they were too close to simply turn and find another route. They also had no way of knowing how many other enemies lurked nearby.  
The road was on a hillside, it was possible that there were people behind the shrubs up on the hill, but down the hillside was too steep, in this weather it was simply a mud slick that no one could spring up easily. How far down the hill went Hawke wasn’t totally sure, maybe 50 feet before it went into the rocky coastline? Whatever it was, enemies wouldn’t be coming up that way.  
Fenris noted everything that Hawke did and the two exchanged a look. After so many years together, a look was enough to convey the plan. Keeping his back to the downward side of the hill Hawke approached the men still fumbling with the cart.  
“Need any help?” He asked with a friendly wave.  
The men dropped the cart and turned to Hawke with evil grins, “You chose the wrong road mate. We are Kipp’s Plunderers and we’ll be taking you lives and your gold this day.”  
With a weary sigh Hawke took out his staff, it was a shame really, his mood had been so good today!

 

The battle was difficult, the weather and slippery terrain making everything more complicated. Over a dozen Plunderers attacked them, most died on Fenris’ sword. Sadly, Hawke’s fire spells, his specialty, were worth very little. Of course, he could do other spells, but they required more lyrium and all his lyrium potions had been used during the Battle of the Gallows and there had been no chance to replace them. Therefore, Hawke battled as best as he could, trying to preserve his lyrium and support Fenris while the elf did most of the dirty work.  
Hawke held his own however, lighting spells proved to be very effective, zapping from one enemy to the next, stunning them long enough for Fenris to end their life.  
After the last fell, Fenris and Hawke paused but no one else appeared. It was lucky; because Hawke doubted he could do anymore magic at this point and Fenris looked tired. “Are you hurt?” Hawke asked and thankfully, Fenris shook his head.  
“Overall, I’d say that went well.” Hawke said, feeling cheery again, “But I do wonder who the hell Kipp is.”  
“That would be me.” Out of the mist appeared an Avvar directly behind Hawke. His knife slid easily into Hawke’s side, only avoiding any vital points because Fenris was already attacking Kip. Summoning the last of his energy, Hawke summoned a crushing prison to rip the Avvar in two.  
Kipp lay in the ground in several dozen pieces and Hawke flashed Fenris a smile, “You know I always have trouble with that spell.” The only other time he had been able to make it work was when battling the Arishok.  
Fenris didn’t smile back though. He hurried toward Hawke, “You are bleeding.” He said with his usual scowl.  
“It shouldn’t be serious so long as I heal it soon.” Hawke started so say. However, the edge of the road gave out, turning into mud and heading down to the sea, taking Hawke with it.  
“Aiden!” Fenris shouted from the roadside as he watched Hawke disappear in the mudslide.


	4. Friend or Foe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Going to try this one from Fenris POV. Let me know what you think, I can do his POV again in future chapters if people like it. This chapter is way longer than the others, but about the time I was ready to cut it off I realized there had been no smut! I figured that would be a terrific waste since we were finally in Fenris’ mind, so I added quite a bit. Also, cannot believe that Inquisition took away healing magic! Did anyone else find this outrageous?)

Fenris hurried down the hillside as fast as he could, the rain had finally broken but the hillside was still slick with mud that might carry him away at any instant. His heart was pounding in his chest, every fiber of his being was screaming in terror. Minutes ago, a wounded Hawke had been carried away in a mudslide, out of sight in a flash. Even though Fenris had hurried to find the injured mage, the elf wasn’t able to move fast enough.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Fenris saw a bright flash of red, the scarf that Hawke wore. Quickly, Fenris moved toward the scrap of cloth, praying that Hawke was still attached to it.

When he saw his lover, the momentary elation was replaced with dread. Hawke laying almost face down in the mud, his left arm at an unnatural angle and blood streaming out from his body. The knife wound must have been worse than they suspected. Hawke also had a sizable knot on his head, he must have cracked it hard against something on his way down.

Carefully, Fenris turned Hawke over to his back. He was breathing and his eyes were open but he was clearly scrambled.

“Aiden!” Fenris called trying to get Hawke to focus his eyes.

While he kept calling Hawke’s name Fenris tried to find the wound to see how bad it was. The wound was fairly deep, but likely had not caused any internal damage, however, it was still bleeding substantially while Fenris had been doing his slow search. While he kicked himself for his slowness, Fenris did his best to apply pressure to the wound. He needed Hawke to wake up however, and use his infernal magic to get the bleeding to stop soon.

Fenris, with a small mental apology, pulled off his gauntlet and gave Hawke a strong slap the face.

“Fen.” Hawke sighed, looking dreamily up at Fenris, clearly not aware of the situation.

“You have to stop this bleeding Hawke.” Fenris commanded.

“Are you hurt?” Hawke asked, frowning.

“You are the one hurt. Remember?”

Hawke’s face was blank.

Fenris applied a bit too much pressure to the wound he was compressing. It did the trick and made Hawke yelp in pain, but his face showed he had fully come conscious.

“Oh right. I was stabbed.” He said with his usual infuriating silly smile.

“You need to heal it now Hawke.”

“Something is wrong with my arm.” He said finally noticing that his left arm was laying useless at his side.

“You don’t need that for a spell right? We can deal with it later.” Fenris growled out.

Hawke sighed, “I can’t heal myself right now.”

“What?!” Fenris shouted.

“I used the last of my lyrium for attacking Kipp. I’m going to need some time before my powers come back. You are going to have to stich me up.”

Fenris’ mind reeled. Of course, he could stich up Hawke, but he hadn’t needed to do that type of caring in a long time because he had grown used to Hawke’s magic. Suddenly, Fenris realized there was another option if Hawke was out of lyrium, “You can use me for lyrium.” Fenris said firmly, his mind already made up.

“What?” Hawke lost what was left of the color in his face. “No way!”

“We don’t have any other choice. It’s alright. Just do it.” It would hurt, it always hurt more than he thought possible. However, the pain wasn’t anything compared to healing Hawke this minute rather than stitching him up and waiting for nature to heal.

“I would never use your marks like that.” Hawke said in a final tone.

“Don’t be so stubborn about this!” Fenris shouted annoyed.

“No!” Hawke roared. He gave Fenris an inscrutable look before his eyes rolled back in his head and he lost consciousness.

Cursing everything that came to mind Fenris quickly began stitching Hawke up. What a stubborn ass his lover could be at times! It was enough to make Fenris want to leave him on the hillside to die alone or make Fenris cling to him and start crying. What a foolish and stupid thing love was! Since being with Aiden, Fenris had discovered that love was heartbreaking and wonderful, unpredictable and sweet, bitter and delightful but above all, it was foolish. Love was a constant challenge.

And Fenris was deeply in love. He had never told him in so many words, as far as Fenris was concerned words were unnecessary at this point. However, the fact remained that Fenris, for likely the first time in his life, was deeply in love. Much to his dismay, he found that often, being in love felt terrible. There was a worry about the future, and pain over the past, anger at Hawke’s general personality, anger at his own personality, and more importantly, the feeling that he was never going to be in control again; it was this full onslaught of feelings that had sent Fenris running away years ago. However, running away hadn’t helped, he had felt all the pains of being in love and never got any of the benefits. So he had come back, and Hawke, his heart still bruised from before, had accepted Fenris.

There were times where being in love wasn’t completely terrible. Fenris enjoyed the way that with a small gesture on his part he could change everything about Hawke. Fenris had seen important men kneel at the feet of Hawke, but a single raised brow from Fenris could make Hawke follow him without question. Furthermore, but a small smile from Fenris would make Hawke break out in the most foolish grin. Then there were the effects that Aiden had on Fenris, sometimes a single glance of pale grey eyes would make Fenris feel like the soles of his feet no longer touched the ground.  

It was still hard to accept the physical side of the relationship, even though Fenris desperately wanted to. An outstretched hand had only meant pain to Fenris, so it was hard to accept a gentle touch; even more so from Hawke, who had a tendency to lightly stroke Fenris as if he was made of the most delicate porcelain. It was so much easier to rile Hawke up into rough bruising force of passion, and amusingly enough Hawke was very easy to rile up. Tenderness however, was beyond Fenris. Sadly, he remembered the night before, when he had rejected Aiden’s gentle hand for a rough one. Maybe someday, he hoped, he would be able to accept and give tenderness. For now however, Fenris could only silently apologize as he pulled a needle and thread through Hawke’s flesh.

Fenris managed as best he could moving Hawke’s dead weight toward some shelter. Luckily, the hillside they had come down did not dive right into the ocean, but what looked like the remains of an older, seldom-used rocky road that the waves sometimes spilled over. There was a suitable cave that Fenris found nearby, it wasn’t deep, but it was protected from the elements enough to meet their needs. After tending to Hawke’s wound and setting the broken arm, he dragged the larger man into the cave, no doubt adding to Hawke’s injuries with bumps and bruises along the way. Serves him right, Fenris thought with a scowl, forgetting that he had wanted to be tenderer. Damn foolish mage should have known better than to stand on such a precarious edge.

 

Fenris had changed both of their clothes, the extra clothes from the pack had been slightly damp but at least not mud encrusted. There was nothing dry to burn for a fire so Fenris had pulled Hawke into his arms and wrapped cloaks around them to keep them both warm. Fenris was sitting so that Hawke was in his lap, the position was strange, given Hawke’s larger frame, but it was comforting to Fenris to be able to feel Hawke’s heartbeat and with Aiden’s head leaning on his shoulder he could feel the steady regular breathing that meant Hawke was still living.

It was some time before Hawke began stirring and Fenris felt a rush of relief, “Aiden?” He asked. Fenris only called Hawke by his first name during very certain situations, mostly intimate ones. For Fenris, “Hawke” was someone that belonged to everyone. Viscounts and noble people called on Hawke for help, he was also a wanted apostate and the lord of a house in Hightown. The person that Hawke is could never be Fenris’ own. However, Aiden… Aiden was a person that could belong to Fenris alone, someone who Fenris could trust completely. Aiden was Fenris’ love.

“I feel awful.” Hawke complained. He tilted his head from its position on Fenris’ shoulder to look up at him.

Aiden’s pale grey eyes were fully focused but clouded in pain.

Fenris’ heart did funny flip flops at the sight of those eyes looking up at him, so open and defenseless, he only hoped Hawke couldn’t notice the stammering of his heart.

“You’ve been unconscious a while. I did the best I could setting your arm and stitching you up. It will take some time however before you recover.”

Hawke wiggled a little, moving his arm just enough to feel the extent of the damage. “Are you hurt?”

“Just a few scrapes from the fight, nothing serious. Have you recovered enough to heal yourself?”

“Not really. I’m feeling weak.”

“Must be from blood loss. It took me a while to find you after you fell.”

“Mmmm.” Hawke hummed, the sound reverberated through Hawke and into Fenris. “Did I scare you?” Hawke wrapped his good hand around Fenris’ hand that was holding him.

“Now is not the time to be attention needy Hawke.” Fenris chastised.

The other man chuckled, but it ended in a wince because of his injury. “I’m not being attention hungry; I was just thinking you must be really upset if you wanted to cuddle.”

Fenris flushed in annoyance, “This isn’t cuddling!” He insisted, “It is a cold spring day and we both needed the warmth.”

“Right.” Hawke said in a drawn out way to showed he didn’t believe him.

Fenris smiled, Hawke must be feeling better if he was teasing. “Maybe I should have left you out in the mud.” Fenris said.

“Aww don’t say that.” Hawke held onto Fenris’ arms, clearly enjoying the attention despite saying otherwise, “Too bad I feel like this. Otherwise this could be romantic.”

Fenris felt a blast of salt spray in the air at that moment, the floor was cold and wet, and absolutely nothing at all was romantic about this. “You have strange ideas of romance.”

“True.” He said laughing again while wincing. “But this is nice.” Hawke leaned back, resting his head back on Fenris’ shoulder and burrowing his face in Fenris’ neck.

Fenris felt his pulse quicken, Hawke’s warm breath on his pulse felt very good suddenly. With surprise, he felt Hawke press his lips to the jumping pulse, a gentle, calming kiss.

Again, Fenris felt his heart flutter, “You must be uncomfortable.” Their obvious height differences must make laying in the shorter man’s arms awkward.

“Never been more comfortable.” Hawke mumbled as he drifted to sleep.

Fenris tightened his arms around Hawke, hugging him close. Maybe Fenris was becoming capable of tenderness after all.

 

It was morning before they got moving again. Hawke’s magic had returned enough to heal his side but his arm was going to take a bit more time and energy. Luckily, Ostwick was not far away but by the time they arrived they were both completely exhausted and looked worse for the wear. Both of them were coated in a layer of mud and sea salt was coated in the cracks of their clothes.

“Sweet Andraste! Is that you Hawke?” A gentleman called out to them as they arrived in Ostwick and had begun searching for accommodations.

Hawke winced and looked at Fenris, something about the apologetic look make Fenris suspicious.

The young lord came up to them smiling as if seeing Hawke was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He was the sort of noble that Fenris couldn’t stand, foppish and too rich for his own good.

The lord held out his hand to Hawke not bothered that Hawke’s hand was covered in dirt and blood.

Hawke took the hand after a moment’s hesitation, “Lord Weston, I’m surprised you recognized me but I’m sure you’ll understand that I don’t wish to have my name shouted around the town square.”

Weston smiled, his eyes roaming over Hawke’s figure in a way that Fenris most definitely did not like. “I could recognize you anywhere I am sure.”

Hawke cleared his throat uncomfortably, “Weston, this is Fenris.”

Weston nodded his head to Fenris, not even giving him more than half a glance. Then realization seemed to dawn on him, “Ah. Fenris. I see.” Now it was Fenris’ turn to get a perverted once over before the lord extended his hand to Fenris. “I am glad to meet you at last.”

Fenris reluctantly shook the man’s hand, it wouldn’t help Hawke to antagonize this person. He did shoot Hawke a look though, very curious to know what the lord meant by ‘meet you at last’. Hawke however, did not meet his questioning gaze, instead was finding the roof of a nearby building very interesting.

Weston seemed to find this very amusing, “Well it would be the least I could do to offer you some accommodations. Since you didn’t wish people to know who you are I am sure it will be more comfortable for you.”

Fenris wondered if there was a threat in the lord’s words but Hawke took them at face value. “Thank you. We would be grateful.” Hawke said with a slight bow of his head.

Fenris grit his teeth but said nothing, letting Hawke do as he saw fit for now.

 

Weston’s mansion was easily twice the size of Hawke’s house in Hightown. At the door Weston promised to talk with them over dinner once they’d had a chance to bathe and change clothes.

Servants showed Hawke and Fenris to the bathing room where a two brass tubs, large enough for two or three people each, were being filled with piping hot water. Before they could even utter a word their dirty packs had been taken away to be cleaned and the servant’s might have even tried to change both their clothes, luckily, Hawke intervened. All the servants were making Fenris nervous, and he certainly wouldn’t allow them to strip him.

Hawke cleared the room of all extra persons and locked the door. He was giving Fenris thoughtful look, protective even. Fenris didn’t like it when Hawke tried to be protective of him, it didn’t sit well to have someone thinking of him like that. Actually, Hawke was the last person Fenris would want to protect him, Hawke was the one who needed protecting, not Fenris.

Perhaps though, some dark part of him _wanted_ Hawke’s protection. But Fenris tried never to listed to that little voice.

“Who is that person?” Fenris demanded. Hawke’s look changed to one of embarrassment.

“Do you remember Varric joking about a Bernard?”

Of course Fenris remembered. Bernard was the bastard who had stalked Hawke for the last several years. After Hawke became established in High Town, coming and going from their gatherings, he had developed a strong group of followers, people who would hand upon his every word and invite him into their beds. It had always driven Fenris mad, but he had never been in a position to complain. Bernard was one of the worst, a young pup of a lord who had apparently fallen head over heels in love with Hawke.

“We need to leave.” Fenris said firmly, crossing his arms.

Hawke flushed and ran a hand through his mud coated curly hair, “There was never anything between us you know. Just some one-sided affection on his part. I turned him down properly a long time ago. He just kept hanging around me for fun I suppose.”

“How did he know my name?”

“I happened to mention your name before, nothing important.” Hawke said unconvincingly.

“We should leave.” Fenris insisted.

Hawke reached out with his uninjured arm to put his hand on Fenris’ shoulder. The movement was slow and calculated, just like everything Hawke tried to do with Fenris, always careful not to upset him, just like a horse that was on the edge of bolting. Fenris appreciated Hawke’s efforts, but he regretted that he couldn’t simply let his lover touch him like other people.

Fenris steeled himself, even the gentle hand on his shoulder made his spine tingle with danger.

“I promise,” Hawke said soothingly, “there isn’t anything to worry about.”

Apparently, Hawke only considered that Weston might get into his pants a worry; not that a jilted suitor might be someone who would call for the Templars or worse, the Divine’s people. Hawke had always had too much naiveté.

“I don’t like this Hawke.” Fenris said clearly. It wouldn’t sway Hawke at this point, but Fenris felt better for letting him know.

Hawke nodded, letting Fenris know he understood. Then with a seductive gleam in his eye, he moved his hand so it was stroking the edge of Fenris’ face. Fenris had a strong urge to close his eyes and lean into that hand, but they were in enemy territory and they had to be on their guard. Therefore, Fenris stood stony faced and stared Hawke back down.  

Aiden smiled, not fazed by Fenris’ scowl, “Are you going to get into the tub with me? Looks like we could both fit and I could use the help.” He indicated his injured arm.

Fenris wasn’t going to fall for that injured bird routine, “I’m sure you can manage.” _If you’d used my markings for power you could be healed already._ Fenris wanted to add, but that was a fight for another time. Instead, he pulled his face away from Hawke’s hand and quickly undressed.

The bath did feel very good after the rigors of the day, Fenris could be grateful for that much at least. He cleaned himself quickly and changed into the fresh clothes that the servants had already prepared.

The clothes were too big of course, but Fenris was able to roll up the sleeves and roll the waistline of the pants down so that they could fit on his hips at least.

“Fen?” Hawke called Fenris, it was a silly nickname but Fenris didn’t have the heart to tell Hawke that it was silly.

“What?” Fenris didn’t turn around. Hawke had a bad habit lately of trying to tempt Fenris with his body.

“I really do need some help with my hair.”

Fenris sighed, “Don’t get any silly ideas.” He said as he stood beside Hawke’s tub.

“I have several ideas and none of them are silly.” Hawke said with a seductive look.

“I mean it.”

Hawke backed down, “Alright. But I really need your help with my hair.”

Fenris took up the bar of soap that was meant for hair and lathered it up before he began scrubbing Hawke’s scalp. He used his long strong fingers to work the soap into Hawke’s muddy curls. He alternated between rubbing with his fingertips and running his nails lightly on Hawke’s scalp.

Hawke moaned in pleasure, “You are good at this.”

“I’m glad it pleases you.” Fenris said. He had done this before for Hadriana, however, it felt immensely different doing it for his lover. Hawke had become completely relaxed, almost like clay in Fenris’ hands. It was quite erotic actually. Fenris realized now why Hawke had asked to wash Fenris’ hair the other night.

Before he could continue that line of thought, he picked up a bucket of clean, cool water and doused Hawke with it.

Hawke sputtered and complained about the sudden change of atmosphere. Fenris chuckled, they were going to have to do this again sometime in less threatening circumstances.

“You should be able to handle it from here.” Fenris said with a teasing coolness.

Hawke made his complaints clear but Fenris didn’t budge from guarding the door.

 

When they entered the dining room Weston greeted them both again, still letting his eyes roam over Hawke in a way that made Fenris feel the need to rearrange the lord’s teeth. Hawke was perfectly oblivious to Weston’s gaze and had eyes only for the food in front of him. Weston had laid out a fine meal for them; the feast on the table could have easily fed ten people. Fenris’ eyes narrowed at the waste of it all but he didn’t say anything. For now, he would follow Hawke’s lead.

The three men began eating, Hawke and Weston chatting casually about mutual acquaintances and nothing of much consequence. The two travelers ate with gusto; since Orana had left Kirkwall the meals they had made for themselves had been simple and flavorless. It was a nice change to be dinning on fine foods again. Fenris had always enjoyed meals like this, it was something that he had never been able to have in his former life.

About halfway through the meal Weston finally turned his gaze to Fenris, “So I presume that Hawke has told you about me.”

Fenris nodded, not feeling the need to use words.

“I have heard lots about you over the years.” Weston smiled, looking very self-satisfied.

Again, Fenris said nothing.

“Are you Hawke’s bodyguard on this little voyage?” He asked.

Hawke, not able to stand Fenris’ silence, spoke, “Mind your own business Weston. We are traveling together, and that is enough.”

Weston didn’t look from Fenris, he seemed to be weighing the other man, “Hawke definitely needs someone to look after him.”

Hawke made some sort of derisive noise but Fenris nodded; ever since they had first met Fenris had been impressed that someone so capable also had such an affinity for life threatening situations.

Hawke looked at Fenris’ his eyes wide, “You think that someone needs to look after me?” He sounded surprised.

Weston laughed, “Come on Hawke, you must admit that you can hardly put one foot in front of the other without falling into some sort of crisis.”

Hawke sputtered and complained while the other two continued having their own conversation.

“He also needs to be treasured.” Weston continued.

“That is none of your concern.” Fenris replied. He didn’t appreciate Weston telling him his own business. Fenris knew better than anyone did what Hawke needed, and half the time it was treasuring but the other half, he needed a strong kick in the pants.

“I will make it my concern if I don’t think he is being treated as he should be.” Weston’s eyes were sharp and he looked dangerous. He was very serious about Hawke’s wellbeing.

Fenris however, could radiate much more danger than the little lord could, and he stared the lord back down, “Hawke is well looked after.”

Hawke, looking very concerned about what was going on between them, stood up, “Thank you for dinner Weston.”

Weston held Fenris’ gaze for a moment before breaking off and putting on his normal smile, “You are quite welcome. There is wine and dessert in your room. I’ll bid you good evening.”

Fenris didn’t miss that Weston had said ‘room’ singular rather than plural. Between giving them one bedroom and the way, that Weston had just challenged Fenris, it was very clear that Hawke had definitely been telling this man too much.

 

“What an annoying person.” Fenris said. They were helping themselves to the wine, a nice wet red with a musky flavor.

“Sorry about him. But you seemed to handle him just fine.”

Fenris sighed, glad the wine was taking effect, his battered nerves felt better. “The change in his personality from one moment to the next is strange.”

“I think he acts that way because he thinks it’s cute.” Hawke twirled the wine around in his glass.

“Do you think he’s cute?” Fenris asked before he could stop himself. After all, Weston had been following Hawke around for years.

“Not at all.” Hawke said using his roguish grin. Hawke obviously found himself cute and Fenris sighed, it was clear what was on Hawke’s mind again. Honestly, the man had an unbeatable libido.

Fenris looked down in surprise at the empty glass in his hand. “Have we finished both bottles already?”

Hawke looked at his own glass, “It seems so. I think you drank most of it.”

“Something is strange.” Fenris said feeling concerned. He didn’t remember that they had been drinking that long.

“Fenris.” Hawke’s eyes were clouded with wine and lust. He stood next to Fenris and pulled him out of his chair and in for a kiss suddenly, it was not his usual way of going carefully.

However, Fenris responded enthusiastically, getting large handfuls of Hawke’s shirt and kissing back just as passionately. He pulled Hawke forward sharply so that their mouths could meet better, however, the action made them both stumble, leaving Fenris sandwiched between Hawke and a side table set in front of the wall.

Dimly, Fenris was aware that something was very wrong. He hated being trapped, caught between two places with no way to escape usually had him panicking. However, at this moment it was the best thing that could have happened. He could feel all of Hawke this way, their bodies were pressed hard against each other and even the pressure of the table pushing against him felt good. Unabashedly, Fenris began rocking his slender hips against Hawke, grinding their growing erections together through their clothes.

Hawke pulled back a little and gave Fenris a hesitant kiss. He also understood that something odd seemed to be happening. However hesitant his mouth was, hands were not idle; he dug his nails into Fenris’ back holding him close. Fenris felt incredibly drunk and knew that they would not be acting like this usually, but at this moment, it seemed so right. Nevertheless, Hawke’s kiss was too light; he preferred their usual kisses that had almost bruising force. So he pulled Aiden in hard again, clanking their teeth together but at this point neither of them even minded.

Hawke’s knees wobbled when Fenris ran his wet tongue along the inside of his lover’s mouth. Fenris shifted so that he was straddling Hawke’s thigh, grabbing his lover’s hips as he began almost riding Hawke’s thigh.

“I feel strange.” Fenris said just before he threw his head back and moaned.

“Something is definitely not right.” Hawke said as he bit Fenris’ earlobe.

“Everything feels strange. My body is on fire, your breath on my neck, the feeling of your hands on my back, the weight of your hips. I feel like I am falling.”

 “The wine, must be something in the wine.” Hawke said, finally pushing through the fog of drink and arousal in his mind. “Weston’s little joke.”

Aphrodisiac huh? Fenris felt murderous. “I’ll kill him.” Fenris said, but he didn’t sound scary at all, just endearing, which pissed him off more. “You’ll help me.” Fenris ordered as he put his arms around Hawke’s neck and kissed him deeply.

Hawke groaned into Fenris’ mouth, sending reverberations through his body. “Can I do you like this? On the table?” It was against the rules, but clearly, Hawke couldn’t wait.

“Do it quickly.” Fenris agreed, but he bit Hawke’s neck hard first, showing that he wasn’t entirely pleased. He loved biting Hawke, the feeling of mastery over the Hawke’s body, the feeling that he could treat it how he liked, it all felt so powerful. Whenever Hawke tried to push the limits of what Fenris was comfortable and familiar with, he would bite Hawke as hard as he liked, proving that he was still the one in control of the situation. A master ordering a slave wouldn’t allow such an assault, but by allowing himself to be bitten he showed that they were equals. Luckily, Hawke seemed to like the bites, or at least not mind them.

Hawke immediately began pulling off their pants and freeing their stiff cocks. Thanks to the aphrodisiac in the wine, they both were slick with precum that served as a lubricant for when Hawke started rubbing their members together.

Fenris wrestled off both their shirts and Hawke didn’t take long before he was biting and sucking at Fenris’ nipples. He didn’t used to have any sensitivity in that area, but the way that Aiden went after them had made them very responsive to touch. Fenris pulled and petted Hawke’s hair and was almost writhing in his arms.

Taking a yank of Hawke’s hair, he pulled him up so their faces were level, “Didn’t I say you needed to hurry?” He demanded.

Fenris lifted himself fully up onto the table and wrapped his legs around Hawke. He shot Hawke a teasing look and then Fenris moaned in exaggerated approval as they rubbed against each other.

Hawke had never moved so fast, flying across the room to find their lubricant and then back to Fenris. They were both panting, skin already glistening with sweat.

Not going slow, Hawke pushed his fingers into Fenris’ twitching hole. It was much faster and rougher than normal, but the effects of the drink helped dull the edge of pain into pure pleasure.

“That’s enough.” Fenris said as soon as Hawke was able to slide three fingers in easily. “I need you in me now.” It was the kind of desperate talk he never stooped to, but it seemed to do the trick this time. Hawke grinned like a mad man and thrust all the way to the hilt inside Fenris.

They both cried out their pleasure. Fenris leaving nail marks on Hawke’s back, thrusting against Hawke so they were moving in unison.

“Kaffas.” Fenris cursed in Tevene, “Aiden, you’re so hot inside me. Maker it feels so perfect.” Fenris had never felt so desperate for Hawke’s body. For once Fenris spoke his feelings and didn’t hold back his voice. He wanted Aiden to know just how amazing this was for him.

“You are so good Fenris. I feel like I’m melting.” The small table banged loudly against the wall with every thrust, making a dreadful racket. Fenris took care of his cock, stroking it in time with Hawke’s thrusts.

Aiden however, brushed Fenris hand away, “Hold on to me,” Hawke commanded and bit Fenris earlobe, “Mark me up so I know how much you like it.”

Fenris shuddered excitedly, is that how Aiden looked at the nail marks and bites? Without reserve then, he ran his nails on Hawke’s beautiful skin, leaving red marks all over it. Aiden took charge of Fenris cock, keeping the same rhythm.

Hawke thrust relentlessly into Fenris’ tight body. The pressure was amazing as he constantly hit that one spot inside his body. Normally, Fenris was more in control of the timing, it felt great to have Aiden in control. He was relentless, pounding in deep and hard, and simultaneously stroking the length of Fenris’ cock. Unfortunately, Fenris felt his orgasm nearing, things felt so good it was a shame to have to cum.

“So close.” Fenris cried, his insides clenched, not wanting to let go of Hawke’s penis.

At the same time, they both climbed the last peak together, Hawke spilling inside Fenris, Fenris coating both their chests in a thick layer of cum. 

 

They leaned against each other, both panting to catch their breath until Hawke began to chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Fenris asked, already biting the first bit of Hawke he could reach, in this case, his bicep.

“I don’t know if we should kill him or thank him.” Hawke said referring to Weston.

Fenris glared at Hawke, his green eyes sparking, “Kill him of course.”

Hawke smiled and tried to distract Fenris from biting him with a kiss. But Fenris was not consolable, he simply started biting Hawke’s lips. It had been amazingly good, and surprisingly, the drug hadn’t clouded his mind enough that he couldn’t still feel the pleasure of his orgasm.

“We can do it again.” Fenris used a tone that made it sound that he was granting Hawke the highest honor. “But we need to do it the usual way on the bed.” He gave Hawke a little push so that he would move off so Fenris could get down.

Aiden smiled smugly and wrapped Fenris’ legs back around him, “Say ‘carry me’.”

Fenris frowned and debated for a moment, but the wine was still having its way with them and they were both getting hard without even any touching. Fenris sighed, it was impossible to resist. He blushed and couldn’t make eye contact but managed to mutter, “Carry me.”

Even though he had been the one to ask Fenris to say it, Hawke also blushed. “I don’t think we are getting any sleep tonight.” He muttered as he picked up Fenris and carried him to the plush bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the drugged wine didn't upset anyone. I will avoid those kinds of plot devices as much as I can in the future. However, I just couldn't help myself this time!


	5. Cuddling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Hawke POV. If you liked Fenris POV let me know and I will do it again at some point. 
> 
> I have a cold and don't feel so good so this chapter is a little emo (to use an older phrase).

“Good morning Hawke? Already heading out?” Weston called to Hawke who was heading through the front hallway.

Hawke gave the smug bastard a cold look, “I should slug you.”

Weston did his best to look innocently confused, “He is the one yes? The man you loved so much that you wouldn’t take another lover even after he rejected you?”

Hawke sighed. After rejecting Weston years ago, the two of them had gotten very drunk, during which Hawke had spilled most of the story, save for the parts about Fenris being an escaped slave. Weston had never let Hawke forget that night.

“Yes. But neither of us cares to be drugged.”

“I just thought that if things still weren’t going well then the wine would help.” Weston smiled, eyes focusing on the large bruise on Hawke’s neck, “I see that things are going well though.”

Hawke sighed, it did no good to reason with people like Weston. “I’m heading to the shipping office. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Not taking him with you?”

Hawke turned on his heel and gave Weston a glare, “Don’t do any more meddling.”

Weston waved his hand, “You really do think the worst of me Hawke.”

Aiden was tempted to wait until Fenris woke up just to protect him, but Fenris probably wouldn’t appreciate the idea that Hawke felt he needed protection. Giving Weston one more glare Hawke quickly left, the sooner he was gone the sooner he could come back. If he was lucky Fenris would still be asleep.

The two of them had not fallen asleep until very early this morning, and Fenris had been tired enough that he didn’t even mind sleeping spooned up with Hawke. Leaving him this morning had been torture for Hawke, but he knew it would be best if Fenris kept resting while Hawke trudged around looking for a boat leaving the Free Marches.

 

Two hours later, after a great deal of hassle and bargaining Hawke had managed to get them tickets on a passenger vessel to Antiva and once in Antiva they would have to find other passage to Rivian. Hawke thought grimly of his last sea journey and could only pray that this one would be easier.

Speaking of prayers, he hurried back to Weston’s mansion to check on Fenris and hoping that Weston was behaving himself.

 

Fenris was kneeling on the floor, packing away the clothes the servants had brought back clean and pressed.

“Travel arrangements have been made.”

Fenris nodded but didn’t say anything.

Hawke looked around the room, it was still a mess from the night before. “Fen, I feel that I should apologize.”

Fenris looked up, his face guarded but curious, “About what?”

“Last night, I did some things that you might not have liked.” The time on the table had been against the rules completely. Moreover, later in bed Hawke had forgotten to be careful about leaning over Fenris, the other man had constantly had to push him back. There had also been an excessive amount of dirty talk, which generally Fenris said he was not a fan of, but his reactions to it last night had been very encouraging. All that in the light of day however looked very bad. Hawke didn’t want to lose what little ground they had made over the last two months.

Fenris however, did not look as concerned as Hawke, “Don’t worry about it. Now help me pack.”

Hawke ignored the order and went to his knees in front of Fenris. “I do worry though! I don’t want to do anything that you don’t like.”

Fenris flushed and looked away, muttering something under his breath about Hawke’s damn puppy face.

“Fen.” Hawke said, he really wanted to make sure that he hadn’t traumatized Fenris or something last night.

“It’s alright!” Fenris growled out, “You didn’t do anything terrible or hurt me.”

Hawke sighed, feeling relieved.

“But don’t expect that we can do it all like that again.” Fenris warned.

Hawke nodded and tried not to look disappointed.

Fenris rolled his eyes, “I can’t believe how soft I’ve gone.”

Hawke helped pack their bags, hesitating when he saw a small box, “What’s that?”

Fenris took it from Hawke and put it in his bag, “A gift from Weston.”

Apparently, Weston couldn’t help himself and had done more meddling. “Did you talk with him today?”

Fenris nodded but didn’t say anything more. Hawke was incredibly curious, but didn’t press for more just now. After all, they were going to be trapped for a week together on a ship, there would be time later.

 

Weston was at the door to see them off still wearing a self-satisfied smile. “Thank you for being my guests.”

“I hope we won’t cause you any trouble down the road.” Hawke said, even though Weston wasn’t his favorite person he didn’t want to get him into any trouble.

“Oh I doubt that.” Weston was confident as always. “Besides, the two of you are going to be in much more trouble, don’t be worrying about me.”

“Thank you Weston.” Hawke said with a nod.

Weston pulled Hawke in for a slightly pervy hug, due to Weston’s wandering hands, before letting him go, “Nice to see you again.” He said to Hawke. Then with a wink at Fenris, “Don’t forget what we talked about.”

Hawke scowled, annoyed at being left out and wanting to know what they had discussed. Fenris only gave Weston a cut nod though before leaving. With a last wave at Weston, Hawke hurried after his lover.

 

The ship was already in the early preparations for sailing, the last of the passengers made their way to the dock. Most of the other passengers, Hawke was relieved to see, were merchants or families, no nobles or mercenaries apparent amongst them, and best of all, no Templars.

 

Hawke had paid the extra fee for a private cabin hoping that they would get some quality time together but the second they entered the small room Fenris gave him a harsh look.

“No sex on the ship.” He said in a tone that Hawke knew better than to argue with.

However, Hawke wasn’t worried about sex, for now he had another plan. He was hoping that he would be able to get closer to Fenris this week, help him realize that every outstretched hand did not mean pain, that he was worthy and deserving of soft affection as well as carnal lust. Hawke smiled, although the carnal lust part was wonderful, it would be worth temporary abstinence if they could learn to be more casual with each other.

The room was very small, more like being back in Lowtown with his uncle. A tiny window that didn’t let in any real light was opposite the doorway. There was a bunkbed built into the wall, with narrow mattresses and almost passible blankets. Lastly, the room featured two chairs and an oil lamp that swung from the ceiling. Hawke sighed, it was meager but at least they were alone.

“Sorry it isn’t anything better. I thought a first class vessel would be more trouble than it was worth.”

“This is fine. Much better than anything I’ve been on before actually.” Fenris tossed his gear onto the bottom bunk. “I will be glad to put the Free Marches behind us.”

Hawke put his bag on the top bunk, “Why?”

“You aren’t safe here anymore. People were willing to look the other way at your being an apostate before, but now things are much worse. I can’t bear the constant danger you are in.”

Aiden was surprised to find his heart pounding, Fenris had a way of saying sweet things that completely threw him off.

Taking his first step in his plan, Hawke brushed up against Fenris as they both stood arranging things in their bunks. Their bodies were close, and in Hawke’s mind a jolt of electricity ran between them. But instead of taking advantage of it as he normally would, Hawke backed away. Fenris looked up, unsure about what had just happened. The two of them did not idly touch ever, any touching had to do with lust.

Aiden considered it a great success that Fenris merely looked confused rather than annoyed. “Shall we tour the rest of the ship?” Aiden suggested.

They went up on deck with their fellow passengers where they could watch the ship set sail and slowly leave Ostwick behind. Hawke felt a return of his depression about leaving Kirkwall and all his friends.

“It’s just temporary.” Fenris said beside Hawke, his voice low so that none of the other passengers would be able to hear him, “We will be back someday.”

Aiden smiled, “How is it that you always know exactly what I am thinking?” He glanced at Fenris who was still watching the rapidly disappearing city, his profile strong and impassive.

“It isn’t an amazing skill; you are just incredibly easy to read.” The corner of his mouth picked up in a teasing smile.

“How unfair.” Hawke said, leaning back against the railing, watching the other passengers. “Why couldn’t you say something cute like you can read me so well because you care for me so much?”

“As if I would give you that satisfaction.” Fenris scoffed.

Hawke chuckled good-naturedly, then taking his chance he brushed his fingers against Fenris’ hand. The small contact had no reaction so taking the action further he held Fenris’ hand, interlacing their fingers.

At that Fenris startled, looking Hawke in the face, “What are you doing?” He shook his hand a little trying to shake Hawke off.

“No one can see.” Aiden said keeping his hand wrapped around Fenris. Not that if anyone could see it would matter, but it was true that their hands were obscured by Hawke’s cloak.

Fenris looked away, staring back at the sea, a faint flush turned the tips of his ears pink as he finally held Hawke’s hand back. His fingers pressed hard into Aiden, Aiden assumed it was because he had never simply held hands with anyone before that he kept such a firm grip.

Gently, Aiden rubbed Fenris’ hand with his thumb and slowly Fenris loosened his grip on Hawke until they were holding hands more naturally.

Sadly, the moment could not last long. The captain arrived to invite everyone to drink a toast to the success of the voyage. Aiden gave Fenris’ hand a squeeze and then he let go so he could accept a cup of wine.

 

 

 

“Aiden?” Fenris asked.

It was the middle of the night, the ship was sailing smoothly at last and Aiden had just felt the tug of sleep. When Fenris spoke however, Hawke roused himself, “Yes?”

“I have a strange request.” Fenris’ voice sounded uncertain.

“Go on.”

“Tell me about the people who you had before me.”

“What?” Aiden turned so he could look down at Fenris, it was too dark in the room to see Fenris’ face but he still tried.

“You said that your feelings are such that only people you love are people you have sex with,” Fenris’ voice told Hawke that Fenris was frowning, pulling his brows together and little lines appearing on his face.

Hawke swallowed, he remembered saying something to that effect the other day. Like half the things Aiden said, he spouted off without thinking of the consequences. If he had known, it would lead to this kind of conversation Aiden would have found a different way to explain himself. “You really want to hear about my past lovers?”

Fenris huffed, “I already asked.”

Hawke flopped back on his bunk. Fine, it wouldn’t do any good to hide at this point anyway. “Well the first was when I was fifteen.” Hawke smiled ruefully, “He was eleven years older than me and a Templar in training.”

“What?” Even Fenris was surprised.

Hawke chuckled, “His parents had promised him to the order as baby and he was having some trouble dealing with that kind of life.”

“Did he know you were an apostate?”

“Yes.”

“But he didn’t do anything to apprehend you?” Then in a soft voice he asked, “Was it a consensual relationship?”

Aiden groaned and choked the air with both hands. This conversation was going exactly the way he didn’t want it to. “No he never tried to arrest me and yes it was consensual. It’s hard to explain I guess. I was a pain in the ass at that age.”

Fenris made a derisive noise.

Hawke smiled, “Alright, I was even _more_ of a pain in the ass at that age. I was tired of my father and his rules, tired of practicing magic, tired of packing up and moving towns every time my little sister accidently set something on fire. When I met Crispin, that was the Templar in training, he was a lot like me. His life had been set out before him and he had no other options. We both felt so trapped. The relationship we began wasn’t really out of love or affection, but kind of kindred spirits.”

“I see.” Fenris paused for a moment to think it over, “But did you come to love him?”

“Yes. However, my father found out about us before I ever had the chance to confess.”

“Your father must not have been pleased.”

Hawke laughed dryly, “That is the least of it. At first, he assumed what you did, that there was something nefarious happening to me. But he was livid when he found out what was really going on.” Aiden still remembered the fight he and his father had had afterwards. Malcom had been furious at the danger that Aiden had put himself and his family in, rightly so of course, but back then Aiden had refused to understand the problem. It was after Malcom found out about Crispin that he had moved his family to Lothering where they would live for the next nine years before the blight drove them away.

Waving away gloomy thoughts, Hawke continued, “Anyway, that was my first love, gone in a flash.”

“Who else?”  
            “The James brothers.”

“Brothers?” Fenris sat up in bed and hit his head.

Hawke laughed, “Not at the same time!”

Fenris growled, “You did that on purpose.”

“Just a little bit.” He smiled, “Leon was the oldest son of one of the most respectable families in Lothering. So of course any relationship we were going to have was doomed from the start.”

“And that just made you love him more.”

“You know me well.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Anyway, after three years, Leon left Lothering to find a cute wife in Denerim.” Hawke brushed it off but even after so many years there was a sore spot that had never quite healed.

“I’m sorry.” Fenris said much to Aiden’s surprise.

Hawke lay stunned for a moment, “It was a shock to me, I never knew that to him our relationship was just passing time. Even though I knew it couldn’t last forever I thought that it had all meant something. But he made it clear that it hadn’t.” Aiden had never admitted aloud before how he had felt.

“More fool him.”

“Right.” Hawke rubbed his face fighting the sudden urge to cry. “Well then to my surprise, after he was gone his younger brother confessed to me.”

“How much younger?” Fenris said with a note of judgement.

Hawke laughed again, “You really have no confidence in me do you? Ethan was only two years younger than me, Carver and Bethany’s age. When we first moved to Lothering he was too young for me, but he said that for him it was love at first sight.” Hawke smiled, “He chased me around for almost a year after his brother left.”

“Persistent.” Fenris said gruffly.

Hawke hoped that Fenris would get jealous, jealously would at least mean sex which was the best outcome of this conversation. “Well, it worked eventually.”

“Why did you part ways?”

“Ostagar. He was part of the battle there with Carver but unlike my brother, he didn’t come home.”

“If he had would you have taken him to Kirkwall?”

Hawke sighed, “I don’t know. I stopped speculating about it years ago.”

Fenris was silent a long time and the two were deep in their own thoughts. Aiden wondered if Fenris had heard the meaning behind his stories. After all, the important part wasn’t that he’d had those relationships but that he’d learned from them all and each one had shaped him in a way. His first relationship had taught him about the right time and place for a relationship, as well as the importance of being in love before committing to a physical relationship. Leon had taught him the pain of betrayal, the sadness that comes with a lack of open commination. Ethan, Maker bless him, had taught Aiden about loss and how important it was to seize ones happiness while they had the chance. Actually, Hawke smiled, without all those lessons he probably would haven’t been able to get to where he was with Fenris now. In their own ways, all his former relationships had taught him how to love Fenris and be the person Fenris needed.

 

Hesitantly, Hawke asked what he had wanted to know for a long time, “Do you ever wonder about the people who might have been in your life?”

“Like you said, I stopped speculating years ago.” Fenris said with a touch of remorse but hesitated before answering, “I do remember someone though. Like all my memories, they come in flashes that are gone almost immediately. However, I sometimes see the face of a woman, another slave probably.” His voice trailed off. Ever since running across his sister, Fenris had remembered more about his past, but he hadn’t shared anything about it yet.

A woman? Hawke’s gut twisted. “Why are we even having this conversation?” He asked.

“I thought it would help to know the past.” Fenris said defensively.

“And does it?”

“No. Now I am still feeling unsecure and now pissed and depressed as well.”

“Me too.” Hawke sighed. It was surprising that Fenris would admit to feeling unsecure but Hawke was currently feeling too upset to really notice. “Is this something do with what Weston said to you?”

Fenris was silent which spoke volumes.

Aiden climbed down and lit the lamp before sitting on the floor. “Come here.” He beckoned Fenris who was watching him from his bed with curious eyes.

“What do you want?”

“I just need to hold you for a bit, the beds are too narrow so come here.”

Fenris looked suspicious of Hawke’s intentions but he got out of bed. Very slowly he knelt in front of Hawke, unsure about how to proceed. Aiden held out his hands, beckoning Fenris into his lap. Fenris gave him a look like an aloof cat who wanted to be petted but also might bite at any given second. At last, he scooted forward enough that Aiden could gently pull him onto his lap so that he sat sideways instead of straddling like they usually did.

Hawke held Fenris tightly without saying anything for a time, simply enjoying the weight and heat of the other man and how soothing it felt to have him close.

“What exactly did Weston say?” Aiden began.

Fenris shifted a little and was clearly reluctant to talk, “Something along the lines of how can I be sure that you are mine.”

Aiden couldn’t help but feel a shiver of pleasure at the word mine. He very much liked the idea of belonging to someone and one could say that his soul obsession of the last few years was to belong to the very man he now held in his arms.  

Ignoring the pleasurable feeling was important, despite what he had hoped about jealous sex he still wanted to foster these feelings of tenderness between them.

Instead he reasoned through what Fenris had said, “So you thought that by learning about the past you could be sure that no one from before still had a piece of me?”

“Yes.”

Aiden smiled inside, the reasoning was very much something like what Fenris would think. Of course, it was clear to Hawke that Weston had been trying to hint to Fenris that he needed to cement their relationship with firm words and commitment. However, it seemed that despite the fact that Hawke hated these kinds of talks; Fenris had needed some assurance from him about the past.

He began stroking Fenris’ back, “I don’t know if I can explain this well but every love is different. Comparing the feelings you had for one person to someone else is nonsensical. What I feel for you is something I haven’t felt before.” Hawke pulled Fenris back so they were face to face, he touched their foreheads together, and with their eyes connected he continued, “There is no one else I would rather have by my side. There is no one else I want besides you. I love you and I will continue to love you until my last breath.”

There were tears threatening to spill out of Hawke’s eyes when he spoke.

“You made yourself cry.” Fenris said with the hint of a smile.

“I’m not crying yet.” Hawke mumbled, blinking away the excess water.

Fenris kissed him, for the first time Fenris was gentle, a sweet kiss really. “I will never leave you.” He promised. It was as much a confession as he could manage, but for now, it was enough.

They kissed softly for some time, the oil lamp swinging above them filling the room with shadows and just enough light to see the other’s face.

“So this is the cuddling that you always after?” Fenris said leaning his face against Hawke’s chest.

“More or less.”

“It is kind if anticlimactic.”

Hawke laughed at the double entendre, “You were the one who declared no sex on the ship.”


	6. Antiva Troubles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My cold is getting better, right now I am hyped up on cold medicine. So please forgive any mistakes.

Things can’t possibly get worse, Hawke thought with a grimace. However, the Maker clearly had another idea and the sky opened up into a massive downpour. Fenris glared at Hawke as if he controlled the weather.  

“Is there anything that you get involved in that doesn’t become ten times worse?” The Hero of Ferelden asked with a chuckle.

“I am not sure you are one to talk my dear.” Zevran teased.

Maker kill me now, Hawke thought.

 

Two days prior…

 

“Closed for Satinalia.” The sign was everywhere around the city, particularly at every shipping office that the two weary travelers had visited. It seems that in Antiva Feastday was taken very seriously and lasted for at least a week.

“I don’t think we will be getting passage.” Hawke finally admitted.

“We won’t be getting any accommodations either, everywhere I have checked is booked for the festival.” Fenris sighed.

That would mean a week of sitting on the docks and sleeping out of doors. No thank you, Hawke had already done that once in his life and he had been much younger back then.

“There have to be a few places left to check.”

“Nowhere that we want to stay.”

“What about up there?” Hawke pointed toward the upper part of the city. Antiva City was built on a mountainside with the palace at the highpoint. So far they had only roamed places close to the docks, but there had to be something further into the city worth considering.

“We would attract too much attention up there.” Fenris said dismissively.

“Better than sleeping outside. Let’s check it out at least.” Hawke thought longingly of a hot bath and good meal, surely there was somewhere they could get those things.

Fenris grumbled but followed like Hawke’s angry shadow.

 

Well after dark they finally found an inn near the high class part of town. The inn was in contrast with its surroundings, in the middle of a row of fancy buildings with beautiful facades was a cramped little hole in the wall type place. Hawke’s eyes lit up when he saw it, it had the same sort of seedy atmosphere that the Hanged Man had. Fenris was clearly less enthusiastic but followed Hawke inside.

The inside was dim, but it became clear why this place had such a seedy atmosphere. If the Blooming Rose and Hanged Man married, this would be their child. The place was full of wealthy patrons indulging in lower class vices. Wine flowed everywhere, leaving the floor sticky, the air was thick with the smoke of various drugs, gambling dice clinked together making a discordant music, and of course there were prostitutes left and right plying their trade everywhere, leading customers upstairs.

“No.” Fenris tried to whisper in Hawke’s ear but Hawke pretended he couldn’t hear. Honestly, they weren’t going to find anywhere better and they wouldn’t stand out in a place like this.

They found a relatively less busy corner and ordered their food.

“Any rooms available for the night?” Hawke asked the scantily clad waitress who bore a large resemblance to Anders, albeit a female version.

She gave Hawke a smoldering look, “Depends on what you have in mind dearie. I’m Lilly and I’m known for knowing what’s best for a man.” She threw herself in Hawke’s lap, freely making herself at home.

Hawke laughed, playing along, he put his lips to her ear, “Well you see I brought my own friend with me.”

She giggled and gave Fenris the once over, “I’m a surer bet dearie, mercenary types like him don’t know one end of a bed from the other. Why not try me tonight?”

“Tempting offer Lilly, but not tonight.”

She pouted, “How’s about I join you two? First timers can be very challenging, you need an experienced hand.” She freely ran her hands over Hawke.

Aiden grabbed her wandering hand gently, “If you can get us a room and keep us undisturbed I’ll give you a nice present.”

Her flirty face was immediately excited at the mention of gold, “First let’s talk price.”

They haggled for a moment before settling on a sum and she strolled off to make the arrangements.

Fenris was eating his food and very carefully not looking at Hawke. He likely hadn’t heard all their discussion but he was obviously displeased. Aiden couldn’t blame him, he would be seeing red if he had to watch Fenris flirt like that. And it likely didn’t help matters that she looked so much like Anders who had often been a thorn in the side of their romance.

“I’m sorry.” Hawke said lowly so that no one else would hear.

“For what?” Fenris didn’t look up.

“It was just to keep up appearances you know.”

“What was?”

Hawke sighed, if Fenris wanted to act like it had never happened maybe it was best. The woman came over and took them to the room. There sadly was no bath in the room because apparently public baths were a thing in Antiva. Hawke sighed, that was going to be a strange thing to try. The room was like much of the rest of the building, small and dim, without even a window. However, it seemed surprisingly clean compared to what they had seen downstairs and the bed looked like it had fresh sheets. Hawke was going to tip Lilly even more for that added comfort.

“Much better than sleeping outdoors.” Aiden said with a smile.

“Perhaps. I still don’t like this place though.”

“We’ll look for somewhere else tomorrow.” Aiden put a comforting hand on Fenris’ shoulder.

Fenris however shook off the hand rather abruptly, “I’m going to sleep.”

Hawke was taken aback by the dismissal, was it possible he was really mad about flirting with Lilly? “Maybe I should have found a different way but I thought flirting a little and playing along would have the desired effect.”

Fenris didn’t reply but simply began rearranging his gear.

Hawke groaned in frustration, he was really in the soup now. “I’m going to go play a little Wicked Grace.” Maybe letting Fenris have the room for a while and some space would help things smooth over.

“You flash too much money in this place and you’ll get us killed.” Fenris said, his back to Aiden.

“I’m only taking a little down with me, I’ll leave the rest here.” Hawke shook thirty coppers out of his purse and headed back downstairs.

The lock on the door clicked behind him and for some reason the sound made his stomach churn. It was always this way with Fenris it seemed, two steps forward and one step back.

He went downstairs, joined a group of young men and decided he would play until he ran out of funds.

Several hours passed and he was actually up by a silver piece, the company was surprisingly good and the wine got better tasting with each glass. The last thing he remembered was thinking it was a shame that Fenris hadn’t joined him.

 

“Wake up.” Aiden heard his mother calling to him sweetly.

“Five more minutes mother.” Aiden mumbled.

“I’m not mother.” A dark voice said.

Aiden startled and cracked open his eyes. Fenris was leaning over him with his usual scowl. Definitely not mother.

“Sorry.” Hawke’s voice was scratchy and his mouth felt like it was full of sand. He tried to sit up but his head immediately started pounding in a way that made sitting up impossible. “Fuck. What happened last night?” Hawke rubbed his face and tried to think back. Sadly, his memory was totally blank after a certain point.

“You got yourself completely smashed and I had to hall your ass upstairs.” Fenris helped hold a cup of water to Hawke’s lips. The action should have been tender but Fenris was clearly still angry with him. “You vomited on me.”

“Sorry.” The water upset his stomach and he wondered if he was going to throw up again. He doubted that wine would have that effect on him, likely they had switched to something else last night that gave him this wicked hangover. Damn, he didn’t often feel like he’d gotten any older since arriving in Kirkwall, but moments like this he was well aware that he wasn’t twenty anymore.

“Drink some more.” Fenris forced Hawke to keep drinking fluids until he felt like he would be ill again.

“You don’t think they drugged me do you?” Hawke asked, his head was in agony.

“I doubt it. All your winnings were still in your pocket. They just left you slumped over a table. You won a gold piece all together.”

Hawke smiled, nice to hear the evening wasn’t a total loss. He scratched his stubble, “As soon as I can move let’s go try that bath.”

“I’m not bathing in public.” Fenris said in a firm tone.

“Of course you’re not. I’ll bribe them to give us a private room or something.” Hawke cracked open an eye and saw Fenris smile as he turned away. Good to know that the man wasn’t completely furious with him.

 

It was afternoon before Hawke could stand without wanting to vomit. On shaky legs they prepared to go to the bath house. Fenris decided while they were out he would look for better lodging as well. He seemed like he was still mad at Aiden, but right now Aiden’s head was pounding so that he couldn’t worry about it too much.

The pounding in his head magnified when there was a knock at the door.

Fenris readied a blade and stood to one side as Hawke opened the door.

Much to his surprise it was a familiar face, “We meet again my friend!”

“Zevran?” Hawke was astonished, “I am very surprised to see you again. Come in.” He stepped aside and let the assassin in the room.

Fenris frowned. He had clearly not forgotten the flirty assassin either.

“Fenris, how are you? I am glad to see you have not changed.” Zevran said in a joking tone.

“What can we do for you?” Hawke asked, hoping to cut off whatever it was Fenris would think of for a response.

“Aren’t you going to ask how I know where to find you?” Zevran said smiling from ear to ear.

“Kaffas.” Fenris cursed in Tevene.

It took Hawke a moment to process, “You shouldn’t know we are here.”

Zevran laughed, “It seems you are quite the talkative drunk my friend. A few spiked drinks and everyone in the place knew who you were before the night was out.”

Hawke ducked his head and cursed himself. Drugged drinks were no excuse.

“Word spread like wildfire and now all of Antiva City is trying to decide what to do with you. The Crows of course are finding how who will pay the right price. It seems that the only reason there isn’t a different assassin outside your door right now is because there is a fierce bidding war that has called a temporary truce.”

“Well, small mercies.” Hawke raked his brain for how they were going to get out of this one.

“Any what is your interest?” Fenris asked skeptically.

“I am here as a friend of course. It still have some influence with the Crows but I am going to have to sever ties with them soon. Anyway, for now I can help you keep your head low and get you somewhere safer.”

“We were trying to head out on a ship but it seems that everything has stopped for Satinalia.”

“Yes. My wife and I are in a similar pinch. I am sure that between the four of us we will be able to sort something out however.”

Hawke looked at Fenris who was still scowling but gave him a reluctant nod. Turning back to Zevran he extended his hand, “Well then, here’s to working together again.”

They shook hands happily.

 

Luckily, for Aiden the Hero of Ferelden was waiting at a local bathing house for them. Zevran explained that bathhouses were often treated as neutral territory so they were unlikely to have anyone attack them. Still a possibility though, Zevran said with a laugh.

The Hero of Ferelden was leaning against the outside of the building looking nonchalant as the festival whirled on around her. Hawke was ridiculously excited to meet her, he had met the King of Ferelden with less anticipation.

She looked a great deal like Merrill actually, her face tattoo was different of course, but she had a similar hairstyle and attire. “Nice to meet you at last. Please call me Siobhán.” She smiled and shook hands with both Hawke and Fenris. “I have to thank you all for saving my husband a while back. It must have been a great deal of trouble but I am sadly rather attached to him.”

Zevran beamed and slid and arm around his wife’s waist, the two radiated happy couple vibes.

“It really is quite something to be meeting you.” Hawke stammered. “Merrill told us a great deal about you.”

She smiled, “You will have to tell me about her. I miss my clan very much even after all this time.”

“Maybe we had better reminisce inside.” Zevran advised.

 

The inside of the bathhouse was quite astonishing. The first floor had large pools where people could bathe, but the upper floors had several rows of tubs with privacy screens around them so one almost had the feeling of being alone. Everywhere one looked there were beautiful mosaics on the floors and walls, the air was full of various pleasing scents and the atmosphere was quite tranquil.

The four of them all took those semi-private baths, still within shouting distance so that nothing could take them by much surprise.

Hawke’s bath was next to Siobhán’s and without using names he was able to tell her everything he knew about her clan and what they were doing now.

He was just putting on his clothes and noticing that his headache was finally gone when the back of his neck tingled.

Hawke turned in time to see Zevran, fully clothed thankfully, deflect an assassin’s knife. With expert precision Zevran dispatched the young assassin’s blade and plunged his own into their side.

“I thought you said we’d be safe in here.” Fenris came around the corner, he was also all dressed and ready to go.

“I said probably safe.” Zevran corrected. “Time to go my dear.”

Siobhán muttered something in Dalish as she struggled into her clothes.

They hurried out of the bathhouse.

“Wait a moment.” Siobhán called to them, “The festival has started. Look.”

Everywhere people were in masks for the Feastday celebration. It reminded Hawke of being in Orlais.

“Wait here a moment.” She dashed off, easily blending into the crowd.

Quickly she returned with several masks in hand, “It won’t be perfect, but this will help some.”

Reluctantly Hawke and Fenris donned the masks, Zevran and the Hero seemed to think it great fun to put on masks and blend in with the crowd.

“Where are we going?” Aiden asked as they hurried through the festival.

“A friend of ours across town. He might have some ideas on alternate forms of transport.”

They moved across town without further incident. When they entered a residential district Zevran stopped the group. “That child over there is an informant for the Crows. Let me talk with him a moment.”

Zevran went over to the kid and they talked for a few minutes before he came back to the group.

“Seems that the city guard is also involved now. Some noble family wants Hawke up on charges for killing a family member.”

The Hero shot Hawke a curious look, Hawke could only shrug.

“What noble family?” Hawke asked. He wasn’t aware that he had any enemies in Antiva.

“Vanard. And now the bosses say that the deal is off since the city wants you too.”

“Who are the Vanards?” Siobhán asked.

“I have no idea actually.” Hawke rubbed the back of his neck and tried to think.

“Kelder.” Fenris said in a dark voice.

Kelder, now that was an unpleasant memory. “I did kill a Kelder Vanard several years ago, but I thought they were Free Marchers.”

“He swore revenge on you.” Fenris reminded.

“People should learn to let little things like that go.” Zevran said sadly. “Well now that we know the city is after you we had better take a different route.”

 

Things can’t possibly get worse, Hawke thought with a grimace. The Maker clearly had another idea and the sky opened up into a massive downpour. Fenris glared at Hawke as if he had done it on purpose.

“Is there anything that you get involved in that doesn’t become ten times worse?” The Hero of Ferelden asked with a chuckle.

“I am not sure you are one to talk my dear.” Zevran teased.

Maker kill me now, Hawke sighed.


	7. Partners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry about taking so long to update. Thank you to everyone who waited and is going to read this story again. I already have the next chapter half done.

“Sounds to me like the easiest thing to do is to threaten and or kill the Vanards. Then the whole problem will be solved.” Siobhán concluded.

They were in a safe house, the basement room of a draper’s shop that Zevran swore would be safe for at least a limited time. The four of them sat on boxes around a lantern and prepared their next move. When Siobhán suggested killing the Vanards without any real remorse, Hawke choked on the water he’d been drinking, could someone who talked that way really be the Hero of Ferelden? Somehow, her cool calculation didn’t match up with the heroic persona that Fereldens all thought of her to have.

Zevran and Fenris didn’t seem to notice anything strange, they were both nodding their heads in agreement.

“Just leaving the city won’t be to any benefit now that there are so many after you. If this can be dealt with cleanly, it would be best in the long run.” Zevran commented.

Fenris agreed, “We cannot let them continue in this way, and looking over our shoulder for the next few years is not a good option. However, that is on the condition that we can deal with this without too much trouble.”

“What do you think Champion?” Siobhán asked, her deep-sea blue eyes seriously calculating Hawke’s reaction.

Hawke fought the urge to simply sigh in response. Honestly, he was getting sick of all the blood on his hands. He’d left Kirkwall to avoid more bloodshed but it dogged him at every turn, was every city going to be like this? Just because one Vanard didn’t like him did they all had to die? The others seemed to think it was for the best, but Hawke couldn’t help wanting another way.

“Hawke.” Fenris said, shaking Aiden from his depressing ruminations.

“I agree that we can’t have them chasing us all across Thedas, especially not when I’m trying to lie low. I prefer the threatening method if possible, if not, a low body count is best.”

Siobhán nodded, “Very good. As you are the principal target here we are going to act according to your wishes.” She drummed her fingers on the box serving as a tabletop and thought for a moment, “Wait here while my husband and I do a little information gathering, we will move more easily around the city just the two of us.”

Zevran explained an escape route and a backup meeting place in case anything went wrong. Then the two elves vanished into the night.

“They make a good team.” Hawke said with a smile. She had very quick reasoning, probably what had saved all of Thedas from the Blight, and she didn’t waste any time worrying over small issues. It was still alarming to him to hear her speak like that in person, but Hawke could admire her for that trait. Zevran seemed a good match for her, picking up on some details and making sure that their backs were covered while she focused on the larger issues.

“I would not have expected this from him our encounter in Kirkwall. Yet he does seem to read her every move.” Fenris agreed.

“Yes, at that time he didn’t seem like the type who could be married to the Hero.” Hawke was jealous of their relationship, they certainly seemed to bring out the best in each other and also found time to be a happy couple in the midst of their crazy lives or so at least it seemed to him.

Aiden paced around the small room, he felt awkward letting the other two leave to do all the work while he stayed hidden. His hangover had mostly receded but his head still throbbed occasionally. Fenris said nothing, he simply took out his sword and began cleaning it.

“Are you mad at me?” Hawke said before he could think better of it.

“I am mad at you.” Fenris frowned and Hawke was surprised by his honest confession, “You make it hard to be anything besides mad at you.” Fenris dropped his sword on the floor, tossing down the cleaning rag on top of it in anger.

Hawke nervously rubbed the back of his neck, “Umm.” Well what else could he say to that?

Fenris continued, “You have so little concern for your safety! I told you not to go into that bar last night but you said it would be fine. You let a strange woman throw herself in your lap, what if she had had a knife? You don’t think about things like that. Then you go out drinking with people you don’t know and get yourself drugged, you are lucky they only wanted information from you. If you don’t get yourself killed, then one of these days I am going to strangle you myself.” Fenris got to his feet and stood in front of Hawke, put his hands lightly around Hawke’s neck and imitated strangling Hawke.

Aiden didn’t move, Fenris’ markings glowed in the dim light of the room, a response to his anger. Hawke wasn’t sure when he had last seen Fenris so upset, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re always sorry. Stop being sorry!” Fenris let his hands drop so they were pressing on Hawke’s collarbone, pushing him into the wall. “You will be the death of me. I know it.” Fenris’ eyes were wide with anger and something that could have been fear if Hawke didn’t know better.

Hawke felt foolish for not realizing why Fenris had been so upset, and he felt very bad for making Fenris feel so distressed in the first place. His reaction told Hawke that he wasn’t mad so much as terribly concerned. Hawke knew he had a tendency to fling himself into danger, his mother had often complained about it, now Fenris was also feeling anxious because of Hawke’s actions. Though, his reaction was surprising, after all, they had been together in far more dangerous situations than this and Fenris had never seemed to have a problem at those times. However, Hawke thought, as their emotional connection deepened it might be affecting Fenris in other ways, such as making him overly anxious about “routine” danger.

Aiden slowly put his arms around Fenris and held him, “I’ve got you.” He whispered, pressing a kiss on Fenris’ ear. If he was right and Fenris’ reaction was out of concern more than genuine anger, this might do the trick.

“You’ve got me?” Fenris laughed coldly though he didn’t move out of Hawke’s arms, “You won’t have me if you’re dead.” He stood stiffly still slightly glowing in anger.

“You have to stay around and protect me.”

“It’s hard to do that when you throw yourself at danger all the time.”

Hawke gently stroked Fenris’ back, “I’ve got you.” He reiterated and pulled Fenris tight in his arms.

“Shut up.” Fenris said, his face buried in Hawke’s chest, finally acquiescing to the hug.

Aiden didn’t say anything more, he wished he could promise that he would be more careful in the future but that wouldn’t be a promise he could keep. It was a sad statement about their lives but it was true. For now all he could promise was this moment. Until now, Fenris had never made demands of him though, he had never asked for anything more than one day at a time. Hawke felt a warm curl of pleasure inside to know that Fenris wanted more, could get angry with him and still accept to be held rather than simply leave.

Holding him didn’t last long of course, after an indeterminate amount of time Fenris pulled back and broke Hawke’s hold on him.

“If you want me to stay around and protect you, you must listen to me when I tell you no.” Fenris said, sitting back down and working on his sword. Last night Fenris had been very serious when telling Hawke not to stay at that inn, but Aiden had ignored his protests.

Honestly, Aiden ignored many of Fenris’ protests. During their adventuring days in Kirkwall, they wouldn’t have taken half the jobs presented to them if Hawke had taken Fenris’ advice. However, most of the time when Fenris objected it was because of lingering issues with mages. Aiden thought Fenris was overly cautious about almost everything, mages especially. Maker knows Aiden was going to be hard to change his habit of charging into everything; however, if Fenris was distressed enough to ask him to stop then Hawke was going to try his hardest.

“I will try.” Hawke promised solemnly.

Fenris acknowledged the promise with a nod but didn’t look up from his work, likely he was embarrassed by his outpouring.

“I suppose this means we really are partners then?” Hawke smiled.

“What else would we be?” Fenris grunted as he kept working.

Aiden didn’t explain how happy it made him to think of being partners rather than just the Champion and his lover. He grabbed his sketchbook and started drawing, sketching the image of Fenris bent over his blade.

 

Zevran led his wife through the city, Siobhán never questioning the directions he took or making needless conversation. The two of them had planned to leave Antiva last week, but something always came up that delayed their travel. Zevran felt the danger of staying any longer though, with Hawke in the city things had become exponentially dangerous. The whole city was on edge, waiting for the temporary truce to end so they could go after the famous outlaw. With so many more active Crows and other mercenaries in the area it was not safe for Zevran anymore. He’d tried to overtake the Crows with Siobhán but their takeover had been short-lived. As a result of their time in the Crows, the new Crow leadership was only too happy to hunt the married couple down and kill them.

The festival raged around them, people everywhere in the streets seemed in a maddened frenzy, every building was full of music and the streets echoed with laughter.

“We have a strange sort of luck to always run into people in dire need of our help.” He said at length with a smile to his wife.

Siobhán chuckled, “The universe is just restoring the balance, it wasn’t many years ago that we ran to everyone in dire need of help.”

“The universe might chose better timing.” Zevran said with a wry grin.

“I do feel sorry for Hawke though. He looks like how I felt leaving Amaranthine. It isn’t easy to be in his position.”

“I thought you were delighted to leave Amaranthine because you could not wait to return to my side.”

“Well of course! How silly of me.” Siobhán winked at her husband.

Zev laughed, “At any rate, Hawke should like the information we’re bringing back.” Zevran slipped into a shadow, trying to shake off the people who he suspected were following.

Siobhán followed gracefully, her years as a hunter among the Dalish had trained her well for stealth.

They’d discovered that the head of the Vanard family was the person calling for Hawke’s blood. Kelder’s father must have passed his vexations about Hawke to the family head and though he didn’t live in the city they were still carrying out his wish for revenge. The head of the Vanard family was a cruel woman, even by Antivan standards, named Vestal. She lived outside the main city on a private estate with its own boat dock. So, in a worst case they could always just abscond with her vessel. The downside was that she had a lot of money and was willing to pay royally to see Hawke dead.

“It might be time to consider another way.” Siobhán whispered. Meaning, the people they’d thought were following were definitely following. It was impossible to say what they wanted, whether they were after the two of them or simply following them back to Hakwe, either way they needed to be dealt with.

“As you say my love.” Zevran showed her a grin and they stepped into a small park and waited.

 

The banging on the door upstairs made Hawke and Fenris jump to their feet. The festival meant the streets were noisy but this sounded distinctly like the no nonsense knock of the city guard. The draper who owned the shop moved slowly to answer it.

Hawke looked to Fenris for his advice. A conversation with the city guard could lead to trouble. Fenris nodded, giving him the unspoken cue that it was time for the escape plan. Hawke grabbed his bag and they opened the concealed trap door that Zevran had shown them before. The door led down to the old city sewer, which Zevran had pointed out was ironically used more for assassins to get back and forth than anything else. It wasn’t safe to stay underground for long but they could hopefully get a short distance without being noticed.

Thankfully, it wasn’t an active sewer but the smell wasn’t excellent either, it reminded Hawke of living in Lowtown. Fenris let Hawke lead the way with the lamp while he stayed back with his sword drawn, ready for trouble.

Zevran had told them that after about half a mile they could exit in a fairly safe alleyway and that would hopefully put distance between them an any pursuer. Hawke hurried, the sewer was built so there was a small footpath on either side of the drainage way, he didn’t want to be down here long.

Unfortunately, another figure was hurrying toward them. Hawke held the lantern aloft, hoping to see the faces of their friends. Sadly, the person in the mask heading toward them drew a sword, clearly not interested in anything friendly, the ringing steel echoing in the sewer. Hawke quickly flattened himself against the wall, so Fenris could go in front. Fenris quickly engaged him, the attacker had no chance against Fenris and he was quickly dispatched, falling into the drainage way.

Neither of them said anything, but Fenris took the place in the front, setting an almost sprinting pace to get them out of the sewer.

They came out into the alleyway that Zevran had directed them to, the alleyway was deserted, but the party could be heard echoing down it. Fenris and Hawke put back on the masks that Siobhán had acquired for them.

“Which way did he say to go?” Hawke asked, his sense of direction was only so-so.

“This way.” Fenris led the way without pause.

The rendezvous location wasn’t too far from where they came out, a corner shop that had been closed sometime in the past, the windows were boarded up but the front door was easily unlocked. Inside there was a healthy layer of dust over everything and two people sitting down in the dark.

“Seems like you ran into a little trouble as well?” Zevran spoke softly but in his usual merry tone.

“A bit.” Hawke admitted.

“Well we have some good news for you.” Siobhán quickly told them all that had been discovered.

“I propose that we sneak into the estate, confront Vestal Vanard,”

“Did we mention this is a foolish name even by Antivan standards?” Zevran interjected.

Siobhán almost completely ignored him, “We confront her, ask her to drop her issues with you or we kill her. Then, I suggest stealing her boat and the four of us sail on up the coast a ways.”

“The vessel is a small ship, not good for long distances, but that means we should be able to manage it ourselves. We can get up the coast some and find other means of passage, there is a city not far from here where I have more friends who would be willing to help us.” Zevran added.

“Let’s hash out the details as we walk huh?” Siobhán suggested.

Hawke purposely looked to Fenris for his approval. Fenris seemed a little disgruntled but finally agreed to the plan.

 

 

Hawke realized as they snuck into the estate that there was a reason he’d never tried to go into smuggling. Years ago in Kirkwall, he’d had the chance to join the smugglers but not being one for stealth he’d joined the mercenaries. Now with two experts at stealth leading the way Aiden realized how bad he was at anything that involved stealth.

Despite wearing heavy armor, Fenris seemed perfectly comfortable slinking along in the shadows with the other two, which made Hawke feel even worse. Maybe it was an elf thing he thought briefly but decided it would be safer to keep that thought to himself.

They entered the mansion without difficulty, the guards at the estate were lazy as it was still Satinalia, and they were having their own little drinks and card games to pass the night away. They came into the house next to the kitchens, a small room used for storing dry goods. Inside there were some servants moving about in the kitchens, dawn was growing closer and they needed to be well up before their mistress. Zevran made a sign for the group to hold while he looked around for a moment to check out how to get to the mistress’s room. Hawke crouched with the other two in the shadows, wishing that he hadn’t opted for the sneaky method.

Zevran came back quickly and signaled for them to follow. Hawke tried his best to sneak, but his elbow caught a bowl of cherries. The bowl clattered the ground, making an impossibly loud noise. The three shot him an annoyed glance before Zevran motioned for them to backtrack some quickly. A few servants could be heard coming toward the sound.

Hawke, tired of sneaking, conjured a fireball, he carefully aimed it in the corridor across the way, catching the carpet on fire. Everyone who had been coming back to the kitchen hurried down the hall to deal with the fire. Fenris gave Hawke a look of disapproval but Siobhán looked pleased so Hawke considered it a win.

 

Without further incident, they reached the masters chambers where Vestal was likely to be sleeping. All together, they entered the room. Vestal stood in the center of the room, an older woman, wrapped in a floral shawl. She glared at the intruders, “So you decided to come to me yourself.” She looked at Hawke with an evil glint in her eyes, “Hawke.”

“I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure.” Hawke stepped forward from the group.

“It won’t be a pleasure. You killed my great-nephew.”

Hawke paused, she had that air around her that radiated crazy. He doubted that he could talk her out of a fight, but he was still worth trying. One might think by now Hawke would give up on the crazy ones, “He was mad. You may not believe it but he asked me to end it for him.”

She drew herself up, “He was a Vernard. I don’t believe it. He was going to be the best of us. I even believed he might have inherited my gifts.” As she spoke she cocked her head to the side, she looked very much like Keldar at that moment.

Hawke could see the way this was going to play out, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Silly me, I was hoping to end this without bloodshed.”

“That became impossible when you decided to murder my nephew.” She reached behind her, producing a beautiful mage staff. A single tap of the staff on the floor produced a variety of demons that charged forward to attack.

The battle was one that Hawke felt he’d had many times before, and Zevran and Hero were certainly adept at battling demons as well. It didn’t take long for the four of them to dispatch the team of demons and Fenris took the job of killing the head of the Vanard clan. Hawke thought that Fenris was still peeved that he hadn’t let him kill Keldar years ago. So maybe with a little too much enjoyment he killed Vestal.

“Let’s get out of here before the alarm is raised.” Zevran suggested.

They quickly hurried out of the mansion, much to Hawke and the Hero’s dismay, they both would have rather spent time looting the place.

Along the way to the boat dock, they had to kill only guard who unlike his comrades was actually doing his job properly. However, the Hero sent her dagger flying and nailed the guard before he could call for help.

The boat was just as Zevran had described it, a small yacht, perfect for a getaway with four people. Luckily for Hawke, at least two of the people on board the vessel actually knew how to sail. Fenris admitted that he didn’t have a great deal of knowledge in the area and Hawke had been avoiding the ocean ever since the blight. Siobhán promised that her husband was an excellent teacher and they would all learn before long. For now though, they left the sailing to Zevran while Siobhán, Hawke, and Fenris settled down for sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that my long break doesn't mean that my tone has changed a lot or anything. I have a steamy scene for you next time! Please drop me a little comment so I know you are still interested in this story.  
> Also I have to shout out to my friend Shades_of_Cool for reminding me why I want to keep writing. Please check them out if you have time [Shades_0f_Cool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shades_0f_Cool)


	8. Seasick? Who's seasick?

Hawke should have known that nothing in his life would come easily. Killing the old lady and stealing her boat hadn’t been difficult in the least which should have told Hawke that something else was going to go horribly wrong.

Somehow, he’d become tremendously seasick the moment he’d stepped on this Marker-forsaken boat. The Hero suggested it was some illness he’d picked up in Antiva but the others put it down to simple seasickness. After all, Hawke remembered how terribly ill he’d been that first time on the sea crossing to Kirkwall.

Even on this little vessel that Zevran swore handled like a dream, Hawke found it hard to keep his footing or keep down his breakfast. It was grossly unfair that all his companions seemed to be perfectly at ease with the voyage. The group planned to sail through Rialto Bay to the port city of Afsaama, it was a fair distance from Antiva City and Zevran thought that both couples could find what they were looking for there.

“What are you looking for?” Hawke asked Siobhán. It was midafternoon and there wasn’t much else to do on the small boat at this time besides lay around and chat. Zevran was busy imparting his considerable sailing knowledge onto Fenris. Fenris didn’t really like Zevran, but he seemed to have grown accustomed to him, furthermore, Fenris was always eager to learn new things. Hawke sincerely hoped however, that sailing would not be a knowledge he had to put to the test anytime in the future, a future without sailing at all seemed best.

Siobhán looked thoughtful for a moment, as if judging whether she wanted to tell the truth or not. “Have you ever heard of the Calling? As it pertains to the Wardens?” She said at length.

Hawke admitted that he had not.

Siobhán told him about it, admitting she was leaving out some information that was not meant to be shared with outsiders. “Anyway, I am looking for a way to stop it. Now that Zevran and I have to leave Antiva it seems like the perfect time to follow up on some of my leads.”

Hawke wasn’t entirely sure he understood but he wished her luck, it sounded like a worthy goal at the very least.

“And you? Why are you leaving Kirkwall?”

Hawke leaned back against the sack he was sitting on, “Well apparently I have caused enough trouble that the Divine was thinking of an Exalted March against the city. That didn’t seem like much fun for anyone.”

“I see.” She said quietly. Hawke suspected that she probably did see the truth. “What are your plans then?”

Hawke looked at Fenris, he was struggling with a series of ropes, looking like he was enjoying the heck out for himself for once. He looked years younger actually, Hawke wasn’t sure if it was finally leaving Antiva or maybe actually getting good and mad at Aiden for once. Either way, Aiden was please to so see him looking so carefree for the first time, it would be a dream to see him look that way always, “I was hoping for a few years of living quietly, somewhere far away…” He admitted.

Siobhán smiled knowingly, “I understand.”

“Really?” Hawke laughed in a self-deprecating way, “Because I don’t. After everything it seems selfish to ask.” He’d barely even been able to tell Varric of his plan.

The Hero turned her head to the side and shrugged, “It may be selfish.” She laughed a little at Hawke’s ‘gee thanks’ face, “After I told Alistair that I was leaving Ferelden to run off to Antiva he was furious with me. After everything that had happened, he wanted to know how I could just walk away and go take over the Crows with my husband. He had to stay and be King of Ferelden he certainly didn’t get to walk away on vacation.”

Hawke leaned forward, “How did you answer him?”

“Well bluntly put, I told him it was none of his damn business.” Siobhán winked.

Hawke laughed, he could certainly imagine what King Alistair’s reaction might have been. Fenris looked over at Hawke with a curious expression, probably wondering what was causing the laughter, and Hawke gave him a smile.

“Let me give you some advice that I wish someone had given me.” Siobhán leaned forward seriously and Hawke refocused his attention on her, “There is always going to be someone else who needs your help. Inevitably, there is going to be another fight sometime down the line and you will be needed. Zev told me that you spent all your time running around Kirkwall helping people, even delivering potions or forgotten trousers. You need to prioritize. If taking this break is what you need to do right now then you do it. Don’t worry about all the other things you could be doing.” She looked firmly at Hawke while she spoke, her dark blue eyes were firm and commanding,

Hawke didn’t know if he felt relieved or troubled by her advice. It was nice to know that she didn’t hold a few years away against him, but it was troubling to hear that she thought his life would be a never-ending series of crisis.

“Well think it over anyway.” Siobhán patted his knee and she stood, “I think I’ll drop a line and see if we can get any fish for dinner.”

Aiden sighed as she walked away. He got up, slowly in case he got another wave of dizziness, and decided to head below deck for a time. Above or below deck, it didn’t seem to affect his seasickness either way. Sometimes the fresh air felt good to clear his head but the spray of seawater on his face seemed to remind his stomach that solid ground was miles away.

 

Hawke was dozing, drifting uneasily in and out of sleep when he felt someone sit on the edge of his bunk. He wasn’t actively ill anymore but after being ill all day his limbs felt positively weak and he doubted he could get out of bed without simply collapsing. At this point, he doubted it was simple seasickness and more likely he was simply ill as the Hero had suggested. Aiden sadly thought that he hadn’t been sick like this in a long time, the last time had been when his mother was alive. Opening his eyes, he was surprised to see Fenris sitting close.

“Did I wake you?”

Aiden shook his head slightly, “I was just dozing. I don’t think I will ever be able to sleep well aboard a vessel. What are you doing here? I thought you were getting lessons.” He slipped one hand under his head to prop himself up a little for conversation.

“You looked unwell after your talk with Siobhán, I wanted to check on you.”

Aiden felt his stomach flip-flop but not from seasickness. He wondered if he would always feel so giddy from any sign of affection from Fenris, part of him hoped he would. “I’m fine. I just wanted to close my eyes for a while.”

Fenris nodded but didn’t say anything more, his fingers played with the edge of the blanket that Hawke was laying on. He seemed to have a cheerful air around him, but there was also something tender in his atmosphere that Hawke hadn’t ever noticed from him before.

“You looked like you were enjoying yourself.” Aiden smiled, with his free hand he caught Fenris’ fingers with his own. Fenris let Hawke play for a moment, Aiden ran his fingers up and down Fenris’ long graceful ones. He didn’t play like that for long, but he did slide his hand around Fenris’ waist so that his hand was on his hip.

“I was enjoying myself.” Fenris admitted, watching the progression of Hawke’s fingers, “It is an interesting skill.”

“And yet you never let me teach you how to swim.” Aiden grumbled good naturedly, he caressed Fenris there, not able to stop himself from lightly touching the curve of Fen’s hip.

“Swimming is another matter.” Fenris said with a crease of his brow, but he couldn’t hide the way the corners of his mouth picked up.

“That’s it, you’re out of excuses. I’m teaching you when we get to wherever we are going.” Aiden smiled.

Fenris hummed in his throat, a sort of we’ll see noise, “You’ve been touching me a lot lately.” He spoke quietly, as if he didn’t really want to bring the matter up.

Aiden didn’t stop the small rubbing motion of his hand, “Is it ok?” He asked. It was true that he had been touching Fenris a lot lately, hoping to cure him of his jumpy reaction to every outstretched hand.

“If it’s you.” Fenris muttered.

Hawke closed his eyes briefly to stop himself from pulling Fenris into a hug. Maker that man could say cute things, Hawke felt himself blushing just from hearing something that sweet.

“Zevran is rather handsy.” Fenris said after a moment.

Aiden’s eyes popped open at that, “Really?” He was rather surprised. However, now that he thought about it, Zevran had been rather flirty with him when they had been in Kirkwall. It must be part of his character.

“He got the message after a well aimed threat however.” Fenris smirked.

Aiden laughed, “You are pretty terrifying when you want to be.” There was some primal part of Aiden that wanted to set the matter with Zevran straight, but he ignored that part of himself, Fenris was more than capable of handling things.

“Damn right.” Fenris agreed still smirking. With a jerky and uncertain motion, Fenris reached forward and moved one of Aiden’s curls off his forehead.

Smiling Aiden caught Fenris’ eyes, the unspoken tease communicated, ‘is that really all you are going to do?’.

Fenris smiled in turn, a rare toothy smile that Hawke had never seen him give anyone else. The elf leaned forward, using one hand to pin Hawke’s wrist to the pillow, effectively trapping his hand under his head.

The kiss was tender, a sweet caress of Fenris’ lips against Hawke’s lips; both their lips were slightly chapped from the salt spray of the water. Fenris leaned back slightly and reflexively licked his lips, the sight of his tongue was enough to send all of Hawke’s blood rushing to his nether regions.

“You’re supposed to close your eyes.” Fenris chided Hawke.

“And miss this? Never.” Aiden smiled, “Besides, you didn’t close your eyes either.”

Fenris chuckled and used his free hand to cover Aiden’s eyes before leaning in for another slow kiss.

Just like the whole world fell away and Hawke forgot the rolling ship and everything else besides Fenris and his sweet kiss. It was actually the gentlest kiss Fenris had ever given Hawke. It wasn’t that long ago that Fenris had said he wasn’t comfortable with gentleness. Therefore, Aiden savored the sweet slow feeling of Fenris kissing him, the way he started out by just pressing their lips together lightly, then with a soft bite on Aiden’s lower lip how he coaxed his way into Aiden’s mouth.

When Fenris pulled back they were both slightly out of breath. After the kiss, Fenris finally moved his hand from over Hawke eyes, running it through Aiden’s curly hair.

“What’s with you suddenly?” Aiden couldn’t help asking, their faces were still close, Aiden rubbed his face against Fenris’ face.

“Hmmm?” Fenris hummed a little, kissing Aiden’s cheekbones.

“You’re all sweet suddenly?” Aiden couldn’t think of a better way to phrase it.

Luckily Fenris didn’t seem upset at being called sweet, “It’s enjoyable seeing you weak and helpless.” He smirked.

Aiden wished one of his hands wasn’t still effectively pinned under his head, he’d love nothing more than to grab hold of Fen at that moment and could prove that he wasn’t totally weak and helpless. However, Aiden thought better of trying to struggle free, Fenris was enjoying himself so what was the harm in letting Fenris have the upper hand for a while? Instead, he let his hand on Fenris’ hip slide down a little, cupping the curve of his lover’s tight ass.

Fenris was indeed enjoying a weakened Hawke, actually making out with him without any urgency or roughness. Hawke responded in kind, only putting a little pressure on his hand holding Fenris, so that Fenris leaned forward, pressing his upper body against Hawke. The air between them was growing hot and heavy with their breath in the tiny room, but the atmosphere stayed relaxed, neither of them pushing for anything more just yet.

“You know I would never have survived this long without you?” Aiden heard himself confessing in a panting breath.

Fenris chuckled, “I know.” He smiled. Fenris flushed a little though, despite his cheeky answer he was probably quite affected by Aiden’s words. “You’ve always been hopeless without me. You were just flailing around Kirkwall before I arrived.” Fenris boasted while nibbling his way around Hawke’s jaw that had grown coarse with stubble.

Aiden smiled, “Just flailing around was I? Who was it who came to me asking for help?” He reminded Fenris, adding a little swat to Fenris backside.

Fenris grunted a little and nipped Hawke’s nose, “I needed someone who wouldn’t mind walking into a trap. No one else was fool enough to take on that kind of mission.”

Aiden managed to catch Fenris’ mouth at last, which delayed his reply, for a little while they lost themselves in kissing, Fenris becoming increasingly aggressive and he finally tried to even grab Hawke’s other hand so he could have him totally pinned down. Aiden laughed and wiggled around, trying to keep his hand free. He grabbed Fenris’ soft hair and kissed him hard to distract him. Luckily, it worked and for the moment, Fenris let Hawke keep the use of one of his hands.

“Who would refuse a request from someone who had just pulled a person’s heart out of their body?” Hawke finally answered back when they paused for a breath.

Fenris response was to take Aiden’s lower lip between his teeth and slowly tug it, letting the flesh slide between his teeth. His markings flickered for a moment and he made a low growling sound in the back of his throat, the kind of sound that made Hawke suddenly debate if he was well enough to continue their activities.

“Ah!” Zevran peeked into the cabin, getting a full view of the two men on the bed, “I see you are already occupied. I was going to tell you that my lady wife and I will be nude sunbathing on deck. You both seem rather pale and could use more sun.” Zev wiggled his eyebrows at them and left the cabin, leaving the door wide open.

Fenris snorted in annoyance at the interruption, “How does his wife stand him?” He asked incredulously.

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

Fenris looked down at Hawke in surprise, thinking likely that Aiden’s remark was to do with Zevran’s announcement. His expression chanced to surprise when he saw Hawke’s face and he quickly got off the bunk so Aiden could get up.

Aiden ran up onto deck and was sick all over the place. He groaned over the edge of the yacht and thought that their sea voyage could not end soon enough.


	9. Switching things up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to make them a switch couple! I hope you all enjoy!

The ‘hunting lodge’ of Zevran’s friend Roy Castillo was nothing less than a palace. Fenris felt immediately uncomfortable in the environment, the gigantic house that stretched on forever with an untold number of unused rooms all bursting with expensive items, it left Fenris’ teeth on edge. He would never get used to the exaggerated wealth of the upper class. Hawke had managed his estate well, nothing had ever been this ornate, but Fenris still preferred his bare bones necessity he’d had in his own mansion.

The owners of this modest lodge were a couple, both elderly and stone deaf. Roy was an elf who’d been a part of Zervan’s life before he’d left the Crows, both of them were vague about the exact way they were connected. The human lady, Eve, seemed very nice, she was clearly of noble birth but had chosen to live out her old age here in the countryside with her husband that society did not likely approve of.

When they had arrived at the house, Hawke had still been slightly ill, Zevran had arranged for them all to stay at the lodge until Hawke was fully recovered. After a couple days, Fenris was relieved to see the color return to Hawke’s face and he knew it wouldn’t be long before they were back on the road and had to part ways with the Hero and Zevran. Fenris was looking forward to moving onward alone with Hawke, but he wasn’t going to rush Hawke’s recuperation.

Fenris was in the library, a long wing of the house that stretched several rooms wide, more books and scrolls were packed into these rooms than Fenris had ever seen in one place. He poured over every book he could get his hands on, most of them were somewhat beyond his reading level but he still tried. Even if it was just touching their spines or smelling their pages, he loved books, they were no longer a mystery to him as they had been before, back then he’d only seen so many random shapes that meant nothing. There had been a time that he thought he would never read, even after escaping and being a free man, he had thought that there was nothing books could tell him that he needed to know. It had been Aiden who’d taken the pains to teach him, show him how books were more than Fenris had assumed.

He smiled as he thought about those first lessons, Hawke showing up on his doorstep with a primer book of his own creation in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. He’d poured so much of his heart into those lessons that before Fenris knew it, he’d fallen for the mage.

“What are you smiling at?” Hawke asked. He was lounging on a sofa, a writing desk in his lap as he composed a letter to Varric, telling him that they were still on track for Rivian. Fenris was standing in front of him, leaning on a table that he had laid out several maps and scrolls on. Fenris wasn’t sure how to reply to the question, Hawke already had a large enough ego without knowing that every time Fenris touched a book he thought of Hawke.

Aiden continued when Fenris didn’t reply, “You seem much happier lately actually. I can’t help but wonder what caused it. I’ve never seen you as open as you have been this last week. I feel like something has really changed.”

“I can go back to brooding deeply if you prefer. Throw a few wine bottles around.” He joked.

Aiden laughed, “Well I would be disappointed if you didn’t do that every now and then, however I am enjoying this new side to you as well.” His eyes were twinkling; he ran a hand through his hair and looked at Fenris in an appraising way.

“You haven’t cut your hair in a while.” Fenris shifted the conversation.

“Well we’ve been busy.” Hawke frowned as he pulled a lock in front of his eyes for inspection.

Fenris loved Hawke’s dark curls, they were always as unruly as Hawke was, and they felt positively alive sometimes when Fenris put his hand in them and they curled around his fingers. The curls were now long enough that they fell just past Hawke’s shoulders, though he hadn’t ever tried to tie them back, Fenris was sure that Hawke’s hair was long enough for it.

“Maybe Sirrah Castillo will arrange for someone to cut it for me before we leave here. I’m terrible at cutting my own hair.”

Fenris frowned, “You should just keep growing it out.” He wanted to see what those curls would be like when they were past Hawke’s shoulder blades.

Aiden stopped playing with his hair and looked at Fenris with a sly smile, “Oh? You want to see me with long hair?” He set the writing desk on the floor and leaned forward on the sofa.

A tiny flush crept into Fenris’ cheeks, “Maybe not, after all, if you had long hair I’m sure you’d manage to catch it on fire or something.”

“I’ll grow my hair out of you grow yours out.” Hawke leaned back on the sofa, brushing the feather of his quill over his lips while he looked at Fenris with an appraising gleam in his eyes.

Fenris refused to shift under that flirting gaze even though the urge was strong, “I’m a warrior Hawke, I’m not going to have long hair.”

“Now that is a disappointment.” Hawke sighed in exaggerated sadness.

Trying to keep a smile from his face Fenris frowned a little and picked up a book to study it.

Hawke however didn’t look at all interested in resuming his letter, “So are there any other requests you want to make? Other things you want done with my body?” Aiden grinned and laid back on the sofa, opening his arms and parting his legs.

Fenris couldn’t help but chuckle, Aiden was really too much, “As a matter of fact there is.” He paused and examined Aiden from head to toe, “Go change your clothes, you look messy.” Fenris teased before dismissing Aiden by opening his book again and hiding his face behind it.

Aiden laughed, as always he laughed from deep within him, the type of laugh that used his whole body, and Fenris always smiled when he heard it.

“Well I will tell you how to fix that.” Aiden seemed unfazed.

“How?” Fenris cautiously peeked over his book.

“Come here and I’ll show you.” Aiden held out a hand to Fenris, clearly inviting him not to sit beside Aiden on the sofa, but on Aiden’s lap.

In the last few weeks since leaving Kirkwall, Fenris had felt a change within himself, he wasn’t sure exactly what had caused it but he didn’t feel nearly as threatened by that outstretched hand as he had not very long ago. He was still a little cautious of course, but he didn’t feel the need to run away anymore.

Shutting his book, Fenris set it down gently on the desk and then took Hawke’s hand. Slowly, Hawke pulled Fenris onto his lap so that Fenris was sitting with his knees on either side of Hawke’s body and his butt perched in Aiden’s lap.

 “Alright, now I’m here, tell me how this is going to help.” Fenris played along.

With a chuckle Hawke slid both his hands down Fenris’ backside and pulled him tight to Hawke’s body, he lightly kissed Fenris, brushing their lips without any pressure.

“There, now I’m wearing something handsome.” Hawke beamed.

Fenris groaned and pushed Hawke’s face down, pressing him into the sofa, “Too bad Varric isn’t around to give you a pity laugh. Your jokes are growing terrible.”

“Pity laugh? Hey that was a smooth line!”

“Please, Duke had better lines.” Fenris scoffed. Duke was Hawke’s faithful Mubari who had also stayed behind in Kirkwall. It had been hard to separate, but Duke was probably happier helping Aveline during this time than he would be wandering all over creation.

Hawke laughed even though Fenris still had his hands over his face, “Hey!” He protested.

Beginning to feel awkward just perched on Aiden’s lap, Fenris tried to move but Hawke caught a hold of him, his arms holding a little tighter.

“Wait a minute. I actually was thinking that we should...”

Fenris recognized the gleam in Hawke’s eye in an instant knew exactly what Hawke was thinking. A breath caught in Fenris’ throat and his heart picked up its pace. The two actually hadn’t had sex since they’d been in Ostwick and that had been some weeks ago already. Although his desire for sex wasn’t as great as Hawke’s, Fenris couldn’t deny that he’d missed sex with his lover.

Showing his acquiescence, Fenris kissed Hawke, a deep and hot kiss, already he was thinking about what it would feel like to have Aiden inside of him soon. His body lit up as Aiden kissed him back heartily, their saliva mixing as their tongues ran in and around each other. 

“Bedroom.” Fenris panted after they’d been kissing for a minute.

Aiden pursed his lips as if he wanted to complain, but he sighed in defeat at the look in Fenris’ eye.

Because he’d forced him to change venue, Fenris allowed Aiden to hold his hand as they hurried across the giant house to their bedroom. Luckily, they didn’t meet with anyone on their way, Fenris would probably have to kill someone who saw him holding hands and being pulled along beside Hawke.

Once in the room, Fenris threw the lock and started pushing Aiden toward the overly large bed. At another time, Aiden might have teased him for being so eager but right now, they were both caught up in the desperation of the moment, to finally have their skin pressed together again. Clothes flew in every direction; both of them laughing as Aiden almost tripped trying to pull of his own trousers.

Fenris licked his lips as he finally managed to push a naked Aiden down onto the pale blue sheets that made his grey eyes look soft despite their dark aroused glint.

“Stay there.” He ordered before finding Aiden’s bag and pulling out a jar of lubricant.

Aiden was biting his lip when Fenris turned back around, looking like he was heavily debating something.

“What?” Fenris cautiously leaned on one of the bedposts and watched Aiden’s face.

“I’ve been thinking, would it be better if we switched things up?”

Fenris crossed his arms and frowned, “What do you mean?”

Aiden blushed a little, “I mean, like literally switching the way we do it today.”

Understanding dawned on Fenris at last and his gut clenched. Shortly after Fenris had resumed their relationship and spent two whole days in bed with Aiden, Aiden had suggested that Fenris try topping. He had hoped it would be easier for Fenris, who had several issues in bed. Fenris hadn’t wanted to try it at the time however, and Aiden hadn’t mentioned it since.

“We don’t have to.” Aiden had taken Fenris’ contemplative silence as a bad sign; he held up his hands and tried to wave off the idea as he backed off.

It was an interesting idea, Fenris could admit that, he certainly could see the benefits of such an arrangement. At the moment it seemed somewhat frustrating more than exciting, he missed the feeling of Hawke messing him up inside. However, if it was something that Aiden wanted Fenris wouldn’t refuse him this much.

“You want to?” He asked, interrupting Hawke’s stammering.

Aiden looked up a little surprised, “Well I haven’t in a long time but I’d be willing obviously. I really just thought it would be easier for you, or an experience you might want to try.”

Now would not be a good time to tell Hawke that he’d tried it at the Blooming Rose once, Fenris decided. He was going to keep that information to himself. That time had been good, but he had ultimately still not felt like repeating it. However, with Hawke things would probably be different.

“Alright.” Fenris agreed. He stopped short of saying the two immediately following thoughts, ‘don’t complain if I am crap at this’, and ‘please don’t say that you want to switch all the time after this’.

Hawke looked pleased that Fenris had agreed, giving him an almost timid smile. He suddenly seemed shyer than he had ever been before, slouching and pulling his knees up to his chest as he sat at the edge of the bed.

 “So, what do you want to do with me?” Aiden smiled, still looking nervous but in a bashful way that Fenris was finding quite arousing. Fenris felt suddenly quite excited about being the one to set the direction of their sex this time. Perhaps Aiden’s idea had some real merit.

With a smirk Fenris took a handful of Hawke’s hair from the top of his head and pulled until Hawke had sat up straight, then he leaned down and kissed him. Again, they kissed hard, both of them showing that they’d longed for more contact during the last few weeks.

Using Hawke’s hair as a handle, he pulled Hawke so that he was kneeling on the bed, sitting back on his ankles, Aiden didn’t object to Fenris pulling him about. Fenris had often pulled Hawke’s hair like this, but he’d never really had the chance to totally control Aiden’s body by tugging his hair. A dangerous feeling of mastery rose up in Fenris, he wanted to treat Aiden the same way that Aiden always treated him, with tender care, but at the moment he was feeling more and more like simply proving he could overpower the larger man.

Biting Hawke’s neck helped him calm a little. As always, he found reassurance when Hawke gasped with pleasure and pain at the feeling of Fenris biting him. Aiden was saying something, but Fenris couldn’t hear him past the sound of Hawke’s pulse in his ear.

“Turn over.” Fenris’ voice was little more than a growl, he finally let go of Aiden’s hair for the time being and helped arrange Aiden how he wanted him.

Aiden clutched a pillow to his chest and laid face down on the mattress, his knees bent so that his ass was on display for Fenris. Using both hands, Fenris admired Hawke’s back for a minute. There were several scars from Hawke’s adventurous life, but his skin was still smooth and perfect to Fenris. When he touched Hawke at first, goosebumps rose up over Hawke’s skin, but the more force Fenris used, the more Aiden made contented noises of pleasure. Fenris explored for a time, alternating between his nails and fingertips, even occasionally biting, taking his time familiarizing himself with Aiden’s back before moving downwards.

As his hands slid over Aiden’s firm ass, Fenris enjoyed Aiden’s gasps, he had no idea that Aiden was so sensitive back here. He parted Aiden’s cheeks, took a little lube on his fingers, and began massaging the skin around Aiden’s hole. Fenris was trying to copy the moves that Hawke had used on him, happy to notice that Aiden was already growing hard as Fenris put his first finger inside.

“How are you doing?” Fenris finally had to ask, he still felt nervous that he wasn’t really pleasing Aiden at all.

“Fine.” Aiden turned and gave him a smile, “Good actually. I’d forgotten how nice this can feel.” His face was flushed and his skin was already glowing, all positive signs that Fenris was probably doing something right.

Fenris was glad he was doing well, but also found himself annoyed that he wasn’t he first person Hawke had tried this with. That kind of jealousy was pointless, but he couldn’t deny that he felt that way somewhat. He forgot about being gentle as he became jealous, and started biting and clawing Hawke’s back as he worked him open with his other hand.

By the time there were three fingers moving inside of Hawke, Fenris was also reacting, his cock was hard and begging for attention just from watching Aiden. Aiden was panting and shaking his hips, rocking back against the fingers opening him wide. Fenris had already left several marks over Hawke’s back and ass, nail lines and bite marks both.

“Alright, on your feet.” Fenris pulled Hawke up.

“Oh come on, we’re already on the bed.” Aiden pouted in a breathy voice, but Fenris smiled when he noticed that Aiden rushed to comply.

“Hands on the wall.” Fenris didn’t make him bend over completely, but he was standing so that he was slightly leaned forward and his legs were spread apart. Fenris admired Aiden like that for a moment, standing totally open and waiting for him. He was surprised that this image had never been one he’d thought of; during their separation and the long nights he’d spent alone, Fenris had imagined Hawke in a lot of positions but never like this, not in his wildest dreams had Fenris thought of something like this.

Fenris leaned against Aiden’s back and turned his head to kiss him. He held nothing back, biting Aiden’s lips and tongue, totally conveying how much he wanted his moment.

“You’re sure?” Fenris asked, pressing his forehead against his lover’s forehead.

“‘Course.” Hawke gave him a cheeky grin.

For a moment Fenris felt his chest puff up full of emotion, Maker knew that Fenris did not deserve Aiden. He quickly tamped down those feelings and smirked at Hawke, “Don’t come crying to me later.” He punctuated his statement by giving Aiden’s ass a firm slap.

Aiden gasped at the slap but didn’t seem scared off by it.

Roughly, Fenris grabbed Aiden’s hips and pushed inside Aiden. Thanks to his preparation, he slid in fairly easily, but Aiden was still wonderfully tight around Fenris. He was careful thrusting in, not pushing as hard as he liked, but not hesitating either. At last, he came all the way in, both of them crying out when he did.

“Wait a minute.” Aiden pleaded, his fingers curling on the wall. He turned his face so Fenris could see him, eyes tightly closed but his mouth hanging open as he gasped at the new sensation.

Fenris waited half a moment but deliberately began moving, pulling out slow, almost all the way, and then thrusting back in, a little harder than before.

“Fen!” Aiden complained.

Smirking, Fenris held onto Aiden’s hips with bruising force and kept up his slow long thrusting. Each time he thrust in a little harder and faster until he finally felt Aiden able to relax more and Fenris could easily slide in and out of his tight human lover.

Apparently, Aiden was feeling better because he had breath to look over his shoulder and taunt Fenris, “Is that all you’ve got?”

Fenris growled at the comment, if Aiden had enough energy to tease then Fenris didn’t need to take it easy on him any longer.

He grabbed a handful of Aiden’s hair again and pulled back so Aiden’s spine was bowed. While he was in this prone position, Fenris picked up his pace, slapping in and out of Aiden with force. It took a few tries to find that perfect angle that would leave Hawke so lost in pleasure he couldn’t even think anymore. They were both panting and covered in sweat and at last Fenris found that delicious angle, Aiden practically screamed, his body shuddering, insides clenching down around Fenris’ cock. With fascination, watched the beads of sweat roll down Hawke’s back, Fenris used his free hand to scratch the damp surface of Hawke’s skin, seeing the red angry marks he always left bloom with his own eyes.

“Fuck,” Aiden started cursing as Fenris marked him, he took his cock in his own hand, making him fall against the wall, but he was too far gone to care. He was now he was totally under Fenris’ control, “I’m close.” He cried.

“Not yet.” Fenris pulled his hair so that he was up again, shoulders pressed to the wall. Ceasing the chance, Fenris bit Aiden’s shoulder, sinking his teeth into the meaty muscle there and tasting the metallic salt of blood on his tongue.

Aiden really cried out then and came suddenly, his insides convulsing as he hit orgasm.

Cursing, Fenris pulled out just in time to come on Aiden’s back, spraying his thick juices so they dripped down Aiden’s body.

Fuck that was sexy, Fenris thought absentmindedly as he watched the various fluids dripping from Aiden’s body. Hawke’s knees wobbled though, and Fenris was also spent. He wrapped an arm around Aiden’s middle and pulled him back to the bed where they collapsed together in an exhausted pile.

 

After his heartrate had returned to a more normal rate, Fenris opened his eyes to look at Aiden who was lying next to him. Aiden’s eyes were still closed but his face was one of absolute bliss.

Fenris smiled and rubbed Aiden’s temple, “Are you ok?” He was concerned he’d gone too far after all or, there was the possibility that maybe he’d simply been bad.

Aiden hummed sleepily but nothing that sounded like real words came out of his mouth though he opened it. Considering that hum to be a reply that he was okay, Fenris sat up and gently rolled Aiden onto his stomach.

“Give me a little more time.” Aiden protested, though he garbled the words so they were barely understandable, however, Fenris got the drift.

“Don’t be daft. I’m not having sex with you just now, I’m just checking on you.”

Aiden relaxed and hummed happily again, letting Fenris move him around while he remained limp.

Normally, Fenris shyly checked the damage he’d caused after Hawke had fallen asleep, but he knew he’d been more than usually aggressive this time.

Getting up, he grabbed a damp cloth from the water basin in their room and proceeded to clean Hawke up. Aiden winced a little as Fenris wiped clean the areas he was scratched or bitten hard. Fenris was surprised at how many marks he’d made and quite impressed that Aiden had put up with him leaving them.

“Admiring your handiwork?” Aiden propped himself up a little.

Fenris realized he’d been in a trance, just tracing the edges of some bruising on Aiden’s ribcage.

“Are you awake at last?” Fenris ignored Aiden’s remark, preferring not to admit that he was indeed admiring the wounds he’d inflicted. He wasn’t quite ready to admit how much he enjoyed what he’d done. Nor was he ready to hear if Aiden actually liked them or was simply tolerating them.

Aiden sighed happily and shifted so he could lay his head in Fenris’ lap, “Yes. Sorry I was kind of out of it for a while after.”

Fenris gave him a little smile, “I’ll be better next time.”

Aiden threw his hand over his face and laughed, “Shit. Fenris, do you want to kill me? You don’t have to get better for next time. That was the best time I’ve ever had bottoming.”

Frowning, Fenris tried to decide if he believed Aiden or not.

Seeing his frown Aiden sat up, and kissed Fenris, letting his lips gently pass over Fenris’ jaw. “Trust me.”

Fenris could feel the smile on Aiden’s lips when they kissed, he was back to his cocky self. Fenris allowed himself to be coaxed into no longer frowning, knowing that Aiden always liked to claim credit for making him smile.

“We don’t have to leave this place for a while yet correct?” Fenris asked, stroking the side of Aiden’s face.

“Yes?” Aiden clearly wasn’t sure of the intent of the question.

“Good.” Fenris pushed Aiden onto his back and knelt over him, “Then I don’t have to worry if you can’t walk for a few days.”

Aiden’s eyes opened wide and his face turned bright red, “Ah! Please be gentle with me!” He held up his hands in a little prayer.

Fenris chuckled lowly, they both knew well enough that he was going to ignore that prayer.


	10. Markings

Thanks to Fenris becoming overzealous in the bedroom, Aiden hadn’t been eager to get back to the road. Nevertheless, it had been an amazing night together and one that Aiden hoped they would repeat from time to time. Somehow, it felt like they had really turned a corner in their relationship and the two were closer than ever. They ultimately stayed a fortnight at the Castillo hunting lodge. Saying goodbye to the Hero and Zevran had been difficult; however, Hawke had a sinking suspicion that circumstance would throw them together again so it wasn’t goodbye for long.

Aiden and Fenris traveled by foot for another week. Their destination was one that they’d agreed on with Varric before even leaving Kirkwall. A small city of absolutely no importance in the scheme of the world, large enough two people could live there without drawing a deal of attention, but too small to be the kind of place one had to look over their shoulder the entire time. Neither Fenris nor Hawke had spent much time in Rivian but the country was known to have a small interest in the Chantry and a broader mindset about mages, therefore, it was likely to be a safer place than the rest of Thedas.

Thanks to his various adventures, Hawke had plenty of gold to allow them to live quietly for a time, so long as they did so in more modest means than he had in High Town. Aiden smiled, thinking about how he would love to pass a year or two doing simply nothing but the inactivity would also drive him mad.

“You’re smiling to yourself again.” Fenris commented.

“I was just thinking about how nice it will be to get off the road. When I suggested we go to Rivian I don’t think it occurred to me that it was so far away.”

“I still think we could have used horses.” Fenris teased.

Aiden rolled his eyes, “The Hero walked from one end of Ferelden to the other and she didn’t need a horse. Neither do I.”

“Someday I hope you take me to Ferelden. I will find these countrymen of yours and find out what could have traumatized you so much about horses.”

Hawke laughed, “Well in that case I might take you to anywhere besides Ferelden.” Though the idea of taking Fenris to Ferelden did hold appeal though, showing him the places that Hawke had grown up and Lothering of course.

“Those look like rainclouds.” Fenris said as they came around a corner and could see further into the distance.

Indeed, there were dark rumbling clouds headed their way, “How about we head back to those buildings we just passed?”

They only had to backtrack a little to get to some buildings that from their appearance had been abandoned for a year or two. Luckily, there was still a roof over one of the homes and the two hunkered down to wait out the storm. They had barely sat before large hailstones began banging on the weakened roof.

“I hope it holds up.” Aiden muttered, looking up to make sure that no hail was coming through the part of the house they were set up in.

There was very little furniture left inside the house, most of it likely carried off by looters long ago. There was a single rotting chair and a broken down bed. Fortunately, the chimney was intact and using the pieces of the chair, they have a nice fire blazing in no time. As usual, Aiden avoided using magic to start the fire, he only did that when it was absolutely necessary. The two of them sat in front of the fire, side by side both watching the flames.

“We need to talk.” Fenris said with a resigned tone.

Aiden was instantly on his guard, and he turned a little so he could look at Fenris better, “About what?”

“My markings, I want you to be able to use them when the situation requires it.”

Hawke picked up a stone off the floor and scrapped a little mud off his boots, “No.” He dismissed the idea outright. “Shall I cook us some supper? We may as well camp here tonight.”

“Don’t ignore me Hawke.” Fenris’ voice rose a little in anger.

Aiden stood up to go rummage in his bag, there were a few potatoes and some carrots that would make a good stew. He knelt on the floor, digging to the bottom of his bag trying to find all the potatoes, “I thought I had some onions, do you have some onions in your bag? It would have been nice if we had a little meat to throw in.”

“Hawke!” Fenris shouted and his markings actually began to glow.

Aiden looked up at him, Fenris had stood up in front of the fire, his brow creased in anger and all Aiden could do was sink his head into his hands.

“I can’t Fenris. I told you I can’t.”

“Don’t just avoid this Hawke. I’m telling you that this is important.”

Aiden shook his head, “This isn’t a conversation we are going to have.” He knew he was being stubborn but he couldn’t even fathom using Fenris’ markings.

“That time you fell down that mountainside, I pulled you into that cave and stitched you up myself.”

Hawke looked up, Fenris was looking at the floor though, his voice still angry but now also full of pain.

Fenris continued after clearing his throat, “If I hadn’t found you in time you would be dead. You do know that?” Fenris looked up at him, his green eyes searching Hawke’s face.

“I know.” Aiden stammered, “But you did find me.”

“If you had simply healed yourself I wouldn’t have spent that harrowing night worrying that you would die.”

Aiden winced at the accusation.

“There are other times too,” Fenris went on, “In times of need it would be better if you could use my markings. I’m telling you that it is alright to do so when the situation demands it.”

Hawke didn’t miss the great gesture that this was for Fenris to make. He’d been through hell for those markings and resented their existence. However, even with all of that, he was willing to let Hawke use him just like those other bastards had used him. It was a very brave gesture, but the idea made Aiden sick on several levels.

“I can’t Fenris. Please don’t ask me to.” He finally whispered, barely heard over the sound of the rainstorm coming down outside.

“Why?” Fenris asked, he was angry again, he clearly couldn’t understand Hawke’s continued refusal.

Aiden shook his head, he couldn’t possibly know where to start, this conversation was going to end unhappily for one of them. He got to his feet shakily, “I’m going to go to sleep for a while.” He wanted to back away from this, go to bed and pretend nothing happened.

Fenris wasn’t having it though, in an instant he flew across the room and grabbed Aiden by the front of his shirt and shook him, “No. You are going to settle this with me.” His marks were pulsing violently and Aiden’s palms were twitching, feeling the lyrium pouring off Fenris.

“Maker’s balls, Fenris! I don’t want to talk about this.” Aiden tried to pull his shirt back so he could get out of Fenris’ grasp.

“Tell me why!” Fenris grabbed his shoulder, his fingers digging in tight.

“Because when we first met you hated me on sight!” Aiden shouted, and the words kept pouring out of his mouth, “You hated every mage just for existing. I spent years, years, trying to get you to accept me and even now, I hesitate! I didn’t even start tonight’s fire with magic simply because I don’t trust that you really accept me being a mage.”

Fenris looked surprised, he dropped his hold on Hawke but didn’t say anything which only provoked Aiden to get more worked up.

“How can you ask me to treat you like they did? The people you hate most in the world did that to you and now you ask the same of me? All the time I’ve spent telling you that every mage is not the same and even now you think I would ever stoop to that level. How can you ask that? You swore how you hated them for using you and now you simply expect me to use you? When I know that under any other circumstances, you would despise me if I tried, but just because you ask me to you expect me to do it. How cruel can you be?” Aiden tried to laugh but it came out hallow, more like a choked sob, which tore through him, “Not to mention the fact that it would cause you unbelievable amounts of pain. You think I could torture you? Do you really think I’m that rational of a person? That we can stand here and rationally discuss the possibility that I might need to torture you someday?” Aiden panted, trying to stop his tirade, “Don’t ask this of me.” He dropped to his knees, unable to look Fenris in the eye anymore.

After a few uneasy moments, Fenris knelt in front of Hawke so that their knees touched. He wasn’t glowing anymore, but Hawke could still feel the echoes of the lyrium flowing off him. Fenris reached out and put his hand on Aiden’s thigh, and other on his waist, and then he gently touched his forehead against the side of Hawke’s face.

“Aiden.” Fenris finally said. Just a little prodding, but that was all it took, Aiden moved his head and they sat that way for a while, just touching forehead to forehead, eyes closed, until the pounding of Aiden’s heart slowed.

“I didn’t realize.” Fenris said carefully.

Hawke made a self-deprecating laugh, of course Fenris didn’t realize Aiden’s feelings. Communication had never been Aiden’s strong point and now he’d gone and spilled a whole lot of ugly thoughts he had been trying to keep to himself. “I’m sorry. I think I said some things I shouldn’t have.”

“No you explained yourself well,” Fenris whispered, Aiden scoffed again and tried to pull away but Fenris stopped him with a gentle touch on the side of his face, “I do know you are a mage Aiden.”

Hawke stiffened, wanting to pull away but just the backs of Fenris’ fingers on his cheek held him in place.

“I know you’re a mage. I told you once that I believe you are a man like no other and I still believe that. I will not walk away from you now.”

“Fenris.” Aiden wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, after all, there was so much he wanted to say. He wanted to believe that promise, but it was hard. He loved Fenris, he could forgive Fenris anything, if Fenris did leave him because he was a mage Hawke would understand and he would let Fenris go again. For some reason however, it was hard to accept that Fenris would stay.

“Yes, I hated others for using me. However, I have no problem using my markings to save my friends or myself. You know that much.” It was true, Fenris had often used his marks in combat when he wanted a certain edge or a very dramatic entrance. “I know you wouldn’t ever hurt me. That’s why I trust you with this. I want you to use my markings because I want to use everything in my power to make sure that you and I survive together.”

Aiden turned up his eyes to see Fenris’ wide green eyes so close, eyes that Aiden felt he could fall into at this moment, “I want to survive together. But I don’t want to hurt you.”

Fenris took one of Hawke’s hands in his own, “It will hurt, but it is preferable to separating again.”

Aiden smiled at last, “Maker Fenris, what a line.”

Fenris answered with a smile of his own, and it may have just been the illusion of the firelight but Hawke was fairly sure he blushed.

“I love you.” Aiden whispered. There was nothing left to say at this point. He loved Fenris and he was going to have to believe in him and give up on the idea that Fenris would possibly leave him someday. It wasn’t going to be easy, Aiden was pretty sure that there were some more serious problems down the road. However, for now, he was going to accept Fenris’ assurance and try to get over his insecurities about being a mage around Fenris. And as to using the markings for power, Hawke wasn’t sure he was ever going to do it, but he understood Fenris’ reasoning now.

This time Hawke was sure that Fenris was blushing, he wanted to get a good look but Fenris pulled him into a long hard kiss.

Just as Hawke was getting really interested in the kiss, Fenris broke it off.

“Alright. Let’s get to practicing.” Fenris sat down comfortably and crossed his legs.

“Practicing?”

“You need to be able to know how it’s done when the time comes so practice is the only option.”

“Now?” Aiden asked nervously.

“Yes now. We are stuck here until the rain lets up.”

“Fenris.” Aiden groaned, trust Fenris to take a reluctant yet on Aiden’s part and make it into a firm promise.

The elf held up his hands, “I know, but it won’t get any easier later. Please. Let’s just try.”

Cursing for all he was worth Aiden sat down more comfortably on the floor opposite Fenris.

“We are stopping as soon as I want though.” Aiden warned. Fenris gave a reluctant and small nod.

Hawke rubbed his palms together and focused, as he focused he could feel it, it was always there, but now he focused on it, the gentle pulse of the lyrium coming from Fenris.

“Just go ahead anytime.” Fenris prodded him.

Aiden pulled a little on the pulse, trying to grab at the invisible ebbing wave. Grabbing it was far easier than he had imagined, and as soon as he did Fenris’ markings lit up brightly. Fenris winced and sat unnaturally still, his muscles clenched. Aiden frowned, right now he wasn’t even getting much lyrium from the markings. He pulled a little harder, it still flowed easily to him, Hawke tried grabbing enough he could probably augment a spell. Fenris broke out in a sweat, Hawke could see him clenching his jaw down.

“Let’s stop.” Hawke let go of the lyrium he’d been pulling and the light from the markings faded.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Fenris was panting, “You haven’t even started.”

“Exactly.” Hawke frowned.

“I can handle it.” Fenris frowned back at him.

“I know you can. That doesn’t make it better.” He added the last bit in a mutter. “Wait actually I have an idea.” He remembered a spell he’d learned from his father years ago about pain transference. The spell had seemed so pointless at the time, pulling half of someone’s pain into yourself, Hawke had forgotten about it a while back.

“What?” Fenris asked.

Aiden smiled, “Well,” he quickly explained what he was about to do. Fenris looked a little reluctant but he knew better than to argue now that he had Hawke going this far. It was only good to pull about half the pain that Fenris experienced but hopefully that was enough to make the experience manageable.

They started again, Aiden pulling on the lyrium again until he had a good flow coming, then he worked his transference spell. He was completely unprepared for the feeling that knocked the breath out of him, it was like a closing fist all around him, crushing him from the inside out. Determined to carry on, he pulled more lyrium into the spell, and felt his veins catching fire. Fenris was watching him wide eyed and almost worried looking, he looked like he was in less pain but now he was more worried about the pain he was casing Hawke.

“Stop.” Fenris spoke at the same time that Hawke decided to cut off the spell.

Hawke took a few steadying breaths and waited for his vision to clear. “So that is how it feels.” He whispered.

Fenris rubbed his brows, “I am sorry. I should have stopped you from doing that.”

Hawke laughed dryly, “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it work.”

Fenris frowned, “It can still work. Under extreme circumstances.”

Aiden rubbed his chest, he could still feel the crushing pressure of the magic, he was sure it was worse for Fenris. He looked at Fenris with concern, but Fenris seemed only worried about Hawke.

“I’ll make us some supper.” He said weakly, getting up and trying to ignore the shaking of his legs.

 

They spent a couple hours in a contemplative but comfortable silence. Hawke had created a pleasant vegetable stew that they ate with some water and remains of a crumb cake from Mrs. Castillo. Fenris was reading a book and Hawke had his sketchpad out again.

“When we get to the town please teach me how to swim.” Fenris said at last.

Aiden looked up from his sketchpad surprised, “You told me you would never learn.”

“I was being stubborn.” He licked the last of the crumbs off his fingers.

“If you’re doing this just because of everything that just happened… Well, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Just shut up and teach me Aiden.” Fenris growled, he was clearly embarrassed.

“Alright. I’ll take you up on it.” He smiled, then bit his lip for a minute before continuing, “You know, the bonus of having a mage teach you to swim?”

“What’s that?”

“You’ll never drown.” Hawke smiled. It was his dad’s line from years ago when he’d taught the three of them to swim, usually said before Malcom brought a giant wave of water down on someone’s head.

Fenris rolled his eyes, “Well I suppose there are some good sides to magic.” He allowed.

“I wish you knew more of them.” Aiden sighed. He got up from where he was sitting and crossed the room to Fenris. He sat down behind Fenris his legs on either side of the elf, and he pulled the smaller man in tight to his arms. There was a time not so long ago he couldn’t have done this, but things had changed. Fenris sat stiffly in his arms for a moment before relaxing some, leaning back against Aiden’s chest.

A tiny warming spell was all it took, just a small extra bit of warmth that made them feel like they were wrapped in a warm blanket instead of feeling the damp air. The small use of magic made Fenris’ markings flicker in response, before Hawke would have thought it wasn’t enough to hurt him but now he wasn’t so sure. He cut the spell off with a sigh.

“Sorry.” He buried his lips on the back of Fenris’ neck, “I thought a little spell, a nice one, would make you feel better about magic or something.”

Fenris held onto Hawke’s arms around him, “It did feel good, don’t stop.”

“But your marks.”

“That doesn’t hurt at all, I swear.”

Hawke swallowed hard, he was more nervous about it now but preformed his spell again, making them warm and toasty in no time. Fenris’ marks glimmered in the cabin. The sun had set outside and so the only light came from the fire and Fenris.

Hawke touched one of the markings in Fenris’ arms, he usually didn’t touch them directly, afraid that they hurt Fenris. However, right now he was entranced by the way they were flickering. Where he touched glowed brighter and surprisingly, Hawke felt lyrium pouring out of the area. Unlike before, he didn’t pull on it, it simply flew out of Fenris and was caught and mingled into Aiden’s spell.

“Ah!” Fenris gasped, sounded more surprised than in pain.

“Does that hurt?” Hawke asked, he stopped rubbing the mark, the glowing dimmed down to a flicker again, and the lyrium stopped pouring out.

“No.” Fenris was shaking though, trembling in Aiden’s arms.

“Hey, talk to me.” Aiden didn’t want to move, he was afraid of doing the wrong thing.

“Do that again.” Fenris ordered.

Hawke did the same motion, rubbing the marking just as he had before and the same reaction happened.

Fenris wiggled, “It feels like, when a limb that is numb wakes up, it doesn’t hurt but it feels strange.”

Aiden smiled in relief but he was also in awe about the revelation, “So it is possible to get lyrium out of your marks without hurting you then.”

“Try something more.”

With a deep breath, Aiden rubbed his hands down Fenris’ arms, and in response, the markings lit up and poured forth a massive amount of lyrium. Hawke felt positively high from the sudden amount of lyrium in his body. He could do a lot of spells with this much magic, as a matter of fact, he could do some very dangerous magic with this much lyrium.

“How does it feel now?” Aiden remembered to ask. His mind was buzzing from all the lyrium, so much so he’d almost forgotten Fenris.

“Still slightly uncomfortable, the same tingly numbness feeling.” Fenris seemed in awe, “I don’t understand how this is possible.”

Aiden closed down his spell for a moment, trying to come back to Thedas, “If I had to guess, I would say that your markings are now ‘open’ they are just giving lyrium, but before they were ‘closed’ and I had to pull it out of you. I think it may be something related to how you are feeling perhaps.”

“I can’t believe it.” Fenris was shaking again, Aiden thought he was moments from breaking down in tears. It must be shocking to learn that all this time there was another way to deal with his marks.

“I’m going to try something else, let me know how it feels.” Aiden was still a little high from the lyrium pulsing around him and was probably not thinking clearly, but he wanted to see what would happen if he actually fed more magic into the markings. If so, it might be possible to actually heal the pathways that the lyrium carved into Fenris’ body.

Aiden pushed some healing magic back into those channels, trying not to push too much at once. Fenris jolted in his arms, crying out.

“Tell me what you are feeling.” Hawke pleaded.

“That feels, ah!” Fenris shuddered and tossed his head to the side. Aiden unmistakably heard the note of arousal in Fenris’ voice.

“That actually feels good?” Hawke guessed.

“I don’t…” Fenris panted, “It’s vibrating inside of me everywhere.”

Hawke raised a brow and kept pushing magic into Fenris.

“What are you doing to me?” Fenris panted, his fingers digging into Aiden’s thighs. He whimpered a little as he wiggled in Hawke’s arms, soft little pleading pleasured sounds.

“Trying a little healing magic inside of you.”

“Fuck Aiden, that’s not healing magic, it’s even better than that bloody wine that bastard gave us.” Fenris almost was thrashing in Aiden’s arms. He turned his head to the side and looked up into Hawke’s eyes, his green eyes dark with arousal, “Kiss me.” He demanded.

Hawke happily complied, he kissed him enjoying the way that Fenris was writhing in his arms.

“Do you want more?” He pulled back from Fenris’ mouth.

Fenris tried to glare at him but the blush on his cheeks diminished the effect, “Yes.” He said reluctantly.

Grinning, Aiden reached between Fenris legs and pushed them apart so he could feel Fenris’ length. “You’re already half hard.” He was surprised.

“Shut up. Just do something about it.”

Aiden pulled open Fenris’ pants so that he could stroke his cock, when he had him in hand he put more power into the marks making Fenris cry out.

Fenris put his hand into his mouth and bit down on it, trying to stifle his cries as completely fell apart in Hawke’s arms.

Hawke pulled up Fen’s shirt, “Here, bite this.” He handed him a roll of fabric and Fenris bit down on the cloth, leaving his chest exposed for Aiden to play with. The glow from Fenris’ body was bathing the room in light.

Aiden slid his hands over Fenris’ torso watching the marks glow wildly as they pleasured Fenris. One hand still stroking Fenris cock, his other was pinching and twisting Fenris’ nipples. The markings began to pulse in time to Hawke’s hand, every stoke up toward the tip they glowed brighter. Fenris wiggled back and ground his ass against Hawke’s own rapidly interested cock. Aiden cursed a little but tried to ignore it, right now he wanted to focus on pleasing Fenris. Fenris was groaning and moaning through the shirt stuffed in his mouth, he weakly tried to hold onto Hawke’s knees but his grip was far weaker than normal. Hawke’s whole body was buzzing with the energy rolling off Fenris.

“Don’t fight it, you can come.” Aiden licked Fenris’ pointed ear, nipping the tip of it with his teeth.

Fenris opened his mouth his shirt falling, “Aiden! I can’t.” Fenris cried.

“You’re fine, you can come.” Aiden stroked him harder, precum was spilling out of Fenris’ tip until Aiden’s hand was dripping with it.

Fenris finally screamed his orgasm, it ripping through him while Hawke poured the last of his magic into Fenris’ markings and stroked him as he came hard.

Fenris fell back, in a total daze after he came and Aiden held him gently whispering to him.

Slowly Fenris started to come back to reality, he was still limp as a rag in Hawke’s hands but he was also humming in happy contentment.

“What the fuck was that?” He finally said, his voice a little scratchy.

“That was a poorly thought-out plan to heal your lyrium markings. And, possibly the start of something crazy for us to enjoy in the future?”

Fenris moaned a little wearily, “I agree with both those statements.”

Aiden kissed the side of Fenris’ neck, enjoying being behind his lover for once. “I was a little lyrium high I’ll admit. I should have thought it through, those markings are deep inside of you and probably began vibrating as a result of magic. Though I don’t think I could have anticipated you would have that reaction.”

Fenris laughed a little but that laughter quickly turned into a chocked sob. Aiden felt the shudder of tears before he felt it. His heart wrenched when he realized that Fenris was actually crying.

“Fenris?” Aiden said panicking.

Fenris couldn’t manage a reply, just a whimper.

Gently as he could, Aiden flipped Fenris around on his lap so that Fenris was facing him. Something that sounded like an objection came out of Fenris’ mouth but Hawke ignored him. There weren’t any actual tears rolling out of Fenris’ eyes but otherwise he was crying, shaking and a wretched look on his face, he actually grabbed on to Aiden and clung to him.

Aiden was worried, he had no idea what he was supposed to do to make things right, however, he didn’t try and pester Fenris about it. He simply held Fenris had stroked his back, trying to be as patient and gentle as possible.

Time passed and the storm continued to rage on. Neither of them said anything, Hawke afraid to further upset Fenris, and Fenris was lost in his own world. The two of them laid together long enough they dozed and finally fell asleep in each other’s arms.


	11. Memories

Hawke woke up the next morning, laid out on the floor, a blanket tucked around him and his bedroll had been pushed under his head for a pillow. He jerked up, his heart pounding with concern when he realized that Fenris was no longer in his arms. Scanning the small room for his lover, Aiden couldn’t help being worried. Fenris was sitting in an empty window, looking relaxed as he stared outside. There was something in his expression, it was his normal sort of brooding, but there was also something else, a languid nature to his body that Aiden hadn’t seen before.

“Morning.” Aiden said softly. He hadn’t forgotten those tears that Fenris had fought last night.

Fenris’ eyes flicked to Aiden and then back out the window, “Morning.” It sounded more like agreement rather than a greeting.

“Fenris.” Aiden stood up, dusting himself off, “If I hurt you last night…” He couldn’t finish.

Last night, everything had happened so quickly. It had all seemed like a good idea at the time, but honestly, Aiden had been totally high off the amount of power and anything might have seemed like a good idea. If he had hurt Fenris in any way, Aiden would go toss himself off the nearest cliff.

Fenris was slow to respond, he turned, giving Aiden his full attention for a moment, and then turned his gaze down to his fist, which he clenched and unclenched. “You didn’t hurt me. Actually, the pain, most of it is gone.”

Hawke felt a rush of relief, “Really? That’s amazing.” He walked over to the window to give Fenris a kiss but stopped short when Fenris drew back some.

It was only a slight rejection, one that someone else might have missed, but Aiden had spent years reading Fenris’ every reaction. “What is it?” He asked warily.

Fenris looked back out of the window and didn’t speak for a minute or two. All the rain had left the world dewy and wet, the sun had yet to break through the heavy clouds and the promise of more rain hung in the air.

“My memories.” Fenris finally said, his voice soft.

Hawke waited, his every muscle was strung tight, on the edge.

“All my memories came back.” Fenris said at last.

“Maker.” Aiden whistled low, it had been a hope of course. Since that first night together years ago, Aiden had wondered about a way to get Fenris in touch with his memories. He didn’t realize that it would have been a side effect of his magic last night.

He wanted to ask if Fenris was all right, but that would be such a ridiculous question. Of course, a lifetime of memories would be a lot to digest all at one. Aiden hoped that the memories he’d regained had been happy ones. After all, the life that was missing had been his childhood with his sister, which had to have been easier than life serving Danarius.

“Should we just stay here today?” He asked nervously, licking his lips. He was very unsure about what would be best for Fenris right now.

Fenris shook his head slightly, “No, we should be close to our destination so we may as well just carry on.”

Hawke nodded. He didn’t want to rush Fenris, but it would be nice to finally reach their new home and not simply be camping rough all the time. He turned and started packing up the few things they’d unpacked last night, Fenris took care of his own gear and they were on the read quickly.

 

Nervously, Aiden waited for Fenris to say something. As usual, Fenris walked ahead of Hawke, but today he seemed utterly absorbed in his own world.

“Look, there’s another dragon off in the distance, I swear.” Aiden was convinced dragons must be returning to Thedas, but the others had remained a little more skeptical, suspecting that the one at the Bone Pit was merely a lingering remnant of old times.

Fenris barely glanced in the direction that Hawke pointed, “Possibly.” Fenris said with a little shrug, and then returned his gaze ahead.

Aiden sighed but reminded himself that patience was the key. After all, it couldn’t be easy to suddenly be confronted by a lifetime of memories.

They walked in silence for a few hours, the silence was mostly on Fenris’ part as Hawke would at least whistle or hum to himself.

“Should I make something for lunch?” Hawke said at last.

Fenris didn’t respond aside from a soft grunting sort of sound.

“I couldn’t probably make something much. I think we still have some bread, we could-”

“Do whatever you like, Hawke.” Fenris said gruffly.

Aiden was taken aback by his tone but shrugged it off; it wasn’t that unusual for Fenris to scold him, Hawke was probably just feeling sensitive at the moment.

 

Thanks to the silence, they moved faster than usual, neither of them even felt like stopping for lunch in the end.

The town was behind an ancient wall, rising up on a hill. It looked a little old and worn around the edges, but still had a charm about it that a little wear wouldn’t affect. There were several rolling hills behind the town, dotted with hardwood trees. A valley opened up in front of the town and the whole place looked idyllic to Hawke.

“Not a bad place, right?” Hawke was growing impatient to find their home. Just the idea of a home for the two of them had him feeling almost giddy with excitement.

“It will be fine.” Fenris said distractedly, he still wasn’t focused, totally wrapped up in his own thoughts.

Aiden had hoped that maybe the town would be a healthy distraction for him, but no luck. However, he was sure that Fenris would be more interested when they picked a place to live.  

With a little sigh, Aiden went to find a few guards. In his experience, guards were usually the ones with their pulse on the community and willing to share the local gossip for the exchange of a few coppers. He couldn’t even say how much he missed Varric at a time like this. They needed to find out what property was available, but they didn’t want to attract all the attention in the world.

Fenris was still distracted, but Aiden hadn’t really thought he’d be interested in this part of the process anyway.

 

It took more coppers than Aiden had anticipated, but he knew of four likely properties they could explore.

“Hawke, I think I will just wait in the tavern. You come find me when you’re done playing.” Fenris said before they headed off to the first property.

“What?” Aiden was shocked. He’d built up an image of the two of them picking out a home, a real place for just the two of them. A love nest that would be all theirs, shared and enjoyed by the both of them.

“I don’t care what place you pick. Find me in the tavern.” Fenris turned on his heel and left without further words.

True, Fenris was a person who didn’t seem to need many comforts. He seemed just as happy on the moldy old cot in Danarius’ mansion as he’d been anywhere else. However, Aiden felt a real stab to his gut at Fenris’ total rejection of looking for a place together. Though he’d never explained how important it was to him, Aiden had still hoped.

Shaking his head, Aiden buried his aching heart. Fenris’ was going through a tough time and finding a way to come to terms with that mattered far more than the roof over their heads.

 

Sadly, Aiden’s sense of direction was terrific as always, meaning, he spent far longer than necessary wandering the town and finding the properties. It was amazing he found the tavern at all after a day of being lost. Stepping inside, he was sad to learn that the town had more than one tavern, and Fenris was not at the only one Hawke had been able to find.

It was well into the middle of the night before Aiden found Fenris. The tavern was a surprisingly nice one, nothing like the Hanged Man, but closer to the one Hawke remembered from Lothering. Fenris was sitting in front of the fire by himself, a bottle of wine in hand and several more scattered on the floor around. He was staring into the fire with such a blank expression that Hawke was almost convinced he was asleep with his eyes open.

“Fenris?” Aiden carefully stood near Fenris.

Fenris didn’t so much as bat an eye.

With a weary inward sigh, Aiden spoke to the tavern owner, praying that they had a room for rent. Thankfully, after settling Fenris’ tab, the owner was happy to let them have a room upstairs. Hawke went there first, dropping off his gear and then heading back downstairs to collect his lover.

He moved so that he stood between Fenris and the flames, hoping to draw Fenris out of his trance. Unfortunately, that had no effect. Hawke tried to take the wine bottle from Fenris’ hand, careful to only touch the bottle and not Fenris.

When Hawke moved the bottle a little, Fenris finally showed some expression, frowning and clutching the bottle to his chest. He looked up at Hawke, his eyes glossy and unfocused.

“Time for bed.” Hawke said gently.

Fenris sighed and got to his feet shakily. Without touching him, Hawke whispered directions to Fenris, slowly getting him up the stairs and to their room.

Inside the room, Fenris seemed to know what to do and no longer needed Hawke’s help. He stripped out of his outer clothes and put the bottle on the nightstand, curling up in the bed and falling asleep instantly.

After spending a little time working on his sketchbook, Aiden also followed Fenris to bed. He curled up on his own side of the bed, falling asleep quickly after a long day.

 

Aiden didn’t know what time it was when he woke up to the sounds of Fenris getting dressed.

“What time is it?” Aiden asked groggily.

“Just past dawn.” Fenris said, “I’m heading off to get the feeling for this place. Are you going to keep this room on?”

“Yes,” Aiden sat up in bed, “I found a place to live I think, but it’s going to need work. It might be more comfortable to just stay here.”

“Whatever you think is best.” Fenris took his sword but left his other gear, “I’ll catch up with you later, Hawke.” He gave Aiden a nod and was out the door.

Aiden flopped back down in bed and punched a pillow. He so badly wanted to help Fenris through this, but he didn’t want to force it. Maybe what Fenris needed most was space and time. They had come so far lately, but right now, it felt like they were back to where they’d been before the trip.

 

The house he’d picked was a short distance out of town. It was up a little hill overlooking the town on one side and a large lake on the other. Several homes dotted along the lakeshore but only one house was on the little hilltop. To Hawke it looked both serene but defensible, the serene was for Aiden but the defensible was for Fenris.

Constructed of stone it looked fairly sturdy, but Hawke learned quickly that there were still some real issues they’d have to take care of. The roof leaked, meaning the flooring for the second floor was nothing short of dangerous right now, the stairs were highly suspect and there was a lot of squeaking and scratching coming from the chimney. The property had been abandoned for a couple years, the distant relative of those who had lived there lived in town and was eager to sell.

Aiden inspected it for a second time, he really would have liked Fenris’ opinion on the place. However, for now it would probably be best to buy the place and go with his gut instinct that this was the right choice. He would pay a crew to come fix the place up and they could probably replace most of the furnishings in town. Looking around, Aiden was happy overall with his choice. If only Fenris would come see it, he would be pleased.

 

That evening Fenris was out until late. Aiden had been about to go out and search for him when he walked into the room they were renting.

“I’m glad you’re back. I was about to go out looking for you.” Aiden set his staff back down.

Fenris unslung his sword and began taking off his armor, “I can look after myself, Hawke.” He said, a little reprimand in his voice.

Well that was certainly true, Aiden thought with a sigh. Of course, it was silly to be worried. Fenris was more than capable of handling anything that came his way.

“Right.” Aiden said with a little smile, feeling silly for worrying, “Did you get something to eat? I could have something brought up…”

“I’m heading down to the bar.” Fenris said, turning and leaving the room without another word.

Hawke sad down on the bed, a little dumbfounded. Obviously, Fenris needed to work through some things. However, this was beginning to feel like outright avoidance of Aiden. Feeling a little sullen, Hawke crawled into bed and didn’t wait up for Fenris, if he got drunk off his ass again he could sleep in the chair at the bar.

 

When morning came, Fenris was already gone, he must have come back at some point because his armor and sword were gone. Aiden shuffled around the room, sighing to himself. It was hard waiting, but he didn’t know if it was alright for him to approach Fenris over this. So far, Fenris hadn’t seemed to want to discuss anything with Hawke about his problems. Therefore, waiting would have to be the way it was. Hawke was good at waiting, but that didn’t mean he liked it.

 

Four days after they came to the town, Hawke was about out of his mind with worry. They still hadn’t talked about Fenris’ memories and Aiden realized that they couldn’t even hold a normal conversation. Fenris didn’t talk to him anymore and he barely let Hawke say ‘good morning’. Every passing day, Hawke felt the gulf between them widening and though he didn’t want to believe it, he began to have some doubts about their chance of ever talking again.

He sat up by the house, the workers had gone into town for some more supplies and Aiden was left stewing in his thoughts again. Wandering from room to room, Aiden began to wonder if this was all worth the trouble.

 

Looking out the window, the workers were just turning around the path to the village and surprisingly, Hawke saw a familiar white haired elf talking to them. It looked as if they gave him directions, pointing to the house, Fenris nodded and walked toward the house. Hawke’s heart leapt in his chest, a moment of pure joy at simply seeing Fenris seeking him out. That moment of joy was crushed when Hawke noticed that the red scarf affixed to Fenris’ wrist was gone.

Hawke ducked away from the window, his heart pounding. That scarf had once belonged to Aiden, but Fenris had stolen it at some point, and he’d faithfully worn it around his wrist ever since. During their long separation, that token was the one hope that Aiden had clung to, trying to convince himself that it meant something. Without meaning to, his eyes had always looked for it, seeing it on Fenris’ wrist had always given him such hope.

Now, the scarf was gone. Hawke peaked around the window, Fenris was closer now, just climbing the hill. He’d like to have seen that his vision had failed him but sadly his vision was perfect, the token was definitely gone. Fenris’ two wrists were covered only in spiky dark grey armor.

Aiden was terrified of what was coming next. Though he’d tried not to give into gloomy thoughts before this, but it had been hard. After all, Fenris had so badly broken Aiden’s heart years ago. His fears from that time crept back, this was a sign that it was really going to be over. Fenris had regained his memories and now he didn’t want Aiden anymore.

With a little whimper of pain, Hawke sat down in the middle of what might have been their bedroom. He couldn’t look at the approaching figure anymore. It would be best if he could school his features, better to not make a fuss. If Fenris wanted to split, Hawke would give him that. Aiden would give him anything.

“So this is the house you picked?” Fenris asked from the doorway of the home. His tone was neutral; Hawke could hear him walking around the small main floor before coming back to the bedroom.

“Well, it seemed like a nice place at the time.” Hawke said with a little laugh.

Fenris chucked, “Not many people confuse ‘nice’ and ‘dilapidated’, you know.”

“Oh come on,” Hawke shrugged, “Your mansion was the dilapidated one. This just has some work that needs to be done.”

A snort of disagreement followed and Fenris came around the room.

“Fuck it.” Aiden said softly to himself. He wasn’t going to give up anytime soon. He jumped to his feet and turn to face Fenris. He’d let Fenris go once and though it had been the right choice at the time, he wasn’t willing to go through that again. Fenris’ face was a little sad and he wasn’t quite looking at Hawke.

“I know you’ve been having a hard time.” Aiden started, “I can’t even imagine how hard it is to take all those memories in. I had hoped you would talk with me about it.”

Fenris frowned a little, “I know that but-”

Hawke didn’t wait for him to finish, “I know you need to work through things on your own. However, we are supposed to be partners right?”

“About that, I know-”

“I had been hoping by now you would lean on me a little. It’s tough but you should be able to trust me that much by now.”

“It isn’t a matter of trust-”

“And furthermore, I refuse to break up with you!” Aiden ended with a shout.

Fenris, who had looked increasingly frustrated that Aiden wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise, now looked quite shocked. Of course, Fenris’ shocked expression looked terribly similar to his pissed off face, so Aiden might have been misreading it.

“Breaking up?” Fenris asked angrily, “Why would you even mention that?”

Aiden shook his head, “Well it’s pretty obvious. You-”

It was Fenris’ turn to jump in before Aiden could explain, “You’re not allowed to do this to me Aiden. Why would you even mention splitting up? After everything we’ve been through?” He looked equal parts hurt and angry.

“You! You’re the one breaking up with me!” Aiden sputtered.

Fenris’ markings flashed in anger, “What a stupid idea! Why would I leave you?”

“Because,” Aiden paced around the room, “you show up looking like that and what else was I supposed to think?” He gestured to Fenris’ wrist.

For a moment, Fenris looked confused but then he sighed wearily. Out of the pouch on his belt, he pulled the red scarf, “This has become threadbare and I was afraid of losing it.” He spoke softly, curling his fingers around the fabric.

“Oh.” Aiden said dumbly. He felt silly for flying off the handle when there was such an easy explanation. “Well still, that doesn’t explain the rest. You’ve been outright avoiding me and you know it.”

Fenris looked up, then turned his eyes down in remorse, “I’m sorry I’ve been having such trouble.”

Aiden rubbed the back of his neck, “Don’t apologize for that. It’s my fault you got your memories back, after all. I just started worrying because the way you avoided me felt similar to the past.” Aiden trailed off, he knew he shouldn’t bring up ancient history but it was honestly the reason why he’d started worrying.

“It wasn’t my intention to make you worry. I had thought that maybe by sorting through my feelings on my own it would be helpful to you.” Fenris said. “However, I knew that was wrong. So I came here today because I realized I need you and I don’t want to work through this on my own.”

“Really?” Aiden was pleased that Fenris had come to that realization on his own. If that was the case, then it really was incredibly stupid to bring up the ancient history, both of them had grown since then.

Fenris nodded and ran his hand through his hair, one of Aiden’s gestures of frustration. “Somehow, I had to reconcile my ancient past with my past after losing my memories and my present. It’s a mess, Hawke.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Aiden said softly.

“So, I made a decision.” Fenris said, finally making eye contact.

“Yes?”

“I want to keep moving forward. When I came to Kirkwall, I was running from my past. You taught me that a life is built when one stops running. Well now I have my past and what I want most is to finally build the life I want for my future.”

Aiden nervously bit his lip, “And that future is here, yes?”

Fenris smiled a little, “Yes. I want to build a future together.”

A bright blush spread over Aiden’s face, “That’s what I want as well.” He smiled.

“Oh and this,” Fenris reached in the pouch on his belt and pulled out a second bright red scarf, “I bought this today at the market, I want to you start wearing this. Then after you’ve worn it for a while, you can give it to me to replace the other one.” He tossed the new scarf to Hawke.

Aiden examined the scarf with a laugh, “The ‘one I gave you’? If I remember rightly, you stole it from me.”

Fenris chuckled, “Well that’s not important, just start wearing that one.”

Aiden’s smile widened as his worries melted away, “Well that’s just silly, you want me to wear it before you steal it from me? Why not just wear it yourself? Or, I’ll buy you one and then you can say it came from me. Either of those would make more sense.”

“Do you have to argue?” Fenris clicked his tongue, a fond smile on his face, “Just do as I tell you.”

“I think I have a right to argue when it’s something this foolish.” Aiden complained with a grin. “After all, it’s something that happens time to time with couples right?” He said that last with a hopeful lilt to his voice.

Fenris’ eyes softened, “Yes. I’m sorry I wasn’t acting that way lately.” He stepped forward and plucked the scarf from Hawke’s hand, then tied it around Hawke’s neck.

Aiden tentatively touched Fenris’ hands as he tied the knot, Fenris easily intertwined his fingers with Hawke’s. It was amazing to Aiden how the whole world seemed to suddenly right itself and he could feel the sunshine streaming in through the window.

“Well, try not to scare me like that again.” He chastised lightly.

Fenris nodded, squeezing Hawke’s hands, “I want to move on from this. I just may need your help.”

“Of course.” Aiden’s voice was thick with emotion.

They remained that way for a time, simply enjoying the touch and unspoken comfort from the other. It didn’t take long for Aiden’s mouth to turn up into his customary crooked smile. When Fenris stepped back, they were both grinning. Well, Aiden was grinning and Fenris was actually smiling with more than just the tiniest corners of his mouth, which almost counted as a grin.

The house disturbed them, the squeaking from the chimney breaking their private moment.

“Speaking of being allowed to complain about foolishness…” Fenris said with a little frown.

“Oh, here we go…” Aiden rolled his eyes.

“Well you are such a spendthrift! If you are determined about this house, then dismiss the workmen and we’ll do the work ourselves.”

Aiden laughed, “You’re not serious. Have you ever seen me with a hammer? Better yet, do you really trust me with a saw?”

“Of course, I’m serious. Besides, doesn’t your romantic side want to build our house together?”

Hawke laughed, his eyes twinkling, “You are playing rough.” It was a low blow to attack Aiden’s sense of romance.

“If it means curbing your extravagance I don’t mind pandering to your soft side.” Fenris teased. He tried to pull back his fingers but Hawke wasn’t ready to let him go just yet.

“Does that mean you’ll actually let me show my romantic side to you?” He said hopefully. So far, their relationship had largely been sarcasm and sex, with just a few honest words of love every five years or so, and it would be nice to change.

Fenris smirked, “If you keep doing just as I say, I might let you.”

Aiden laughed, letting Fenris have his hands back. He gave Fenris a grin, “Some partnership this is.” He said sarcastically.

“Be honest, you really wouldn’t have it any other way.” Fenris teased. “Now about the house, I have a few ideas already. Are you listening?”

Aiden flopped back down on the floor, smiling from ear to ear, “Of course, you have my undivided attention.” He closed his eyes, thinking how happy it was to be in their house.


	12. The Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about all the long time between updates during the whole thing. But here it is! The last chapter! please enjoy all the fluff.

“Time to get up.” Fenris said, ruffling Hawke’s hair.

Aiden opened his eyes in surprise. “You’re here.” He blinked a few times to be sure.

“Take this.” Fenris handed Aiden a hot cup of tea. “Why do you sleep with the door unlocked?”

With a little smile, Aiden sat up in bed and Fenris settled down on the bed next to him, his bare feet still on the floor but their shoulders touching. Ever since Hawke had healed him, Fenris could handle touching and would often enjoy sitting close like this. Before, Aiden had assumed it was mental trauma that made Fenris keep people at a distance, now that he knew it had more to do with the pain the markings had caused, he was even more pleased to know he’d healed Fenris.

“Well, ever since the incident with the Seers, I just don’t see much point in locks. If they want in they’re going to get in, may as well save the front door this time.”

“Did they give you trouble while I was gone?” Fenris had started doing some mercenary work, mostly just to pass his time. This last trip he’d left town for a week to guard a caravan as they traveled.

“Nope, it’s been quiet. I finished the portrait for that Lord and it looks awful. I swear I’m not doing portraits anymore.” Hawke had been making a very meager living as an artist since their move to Rivain.

Fenris didn’t say anything, just sipped his tea and they fell into a comfortable silence. It was a rainy day outside, the cool drizzle and dark world made Aiden want to stay in bed.

“Oh, I didn’t check the patch on the roof.” Aiden said with a little yawn, as the rain became heavier outside.

“I already went upstairs, everything was dry.”

“I still say you should have let me pay someone to just build a new roof.” Hawke muttered, taking a sip of the tea that had been made just to his taste.

Fenris made a disgusted little noise but didn’t reply. His tea was much darker and without any milk or sugar of course.

“How long have you been home?” Aiden realized that between the tea and the roof, Fenris had been moving around the house quietly for some time.

The elf laughed, “A couple of hours. I had hoped to find a warm welcome from you but you didn’t even stir until I had the tea under your nose.”

“Sorry.” Aiden ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll still give you a warm welcome.” He gave Fenris a grin.

“No, that chance passed.” Fenris teased.

Hawke laughed, “I missed you.” He said fondly.

Fenris took a little sip of his tea and said softly, “I am glad to be back.”

Aiden’s heart soared. Since moving into the house four months ago, Fenris had become much more open in verbally expressing his affection, and Hawke’s heart pounded like mad every time.

“Here, I brought these in earlier.” Fenris held out a piece of seed cake to Hawke and kept one for himself.

 “Thanks, darling.” Aiden said, testing out the name.

“No.” Fenris said firmly. Lately, Hawke had been trying to test out terms of endearment to see if Fenris would accept any of them. Thus far, Fenris had rejected to every single name that Hawke had tried. However, because Fenris hadn’t outright said that Aiden had to stop, he kept trying.

They sat in a comfortable silence, both listening to the rain. After they finished their breakfast, Hawke turned to Fenris with a smile.

“Now, about that warm welcome…” His eyes danced with mischief.

“I told you that ship sailed.” Fenris chuckled, turning to set the mugs and plate down on the nightstand.

“Oh, really? I can’t change your mind?” Hawke waited until he was in Fenris’ peripheral vision before putting an arm around Fenris’ waist. Even though Fenris had grown more used to touching, it could still catch him off guard, so Hawke tried to remain careful.

Fenris looked pleased and put his hand over Aiden’s, “Well that really depends on you, doesn’t it?” He challenged.

Aiden chuckled and kissed the side of Fenris’ neck. Fenris smiled and tipped his head further to the side, offering Hawke more access to his warm skin. Kissing him softly turned into teasing the skin with his teeth. Sliding a hand under Fenris’ shirt, Hawke caressed Fenris’ ribcage with his large hands.

With a soft sigh of pleasure, Fenris leaned passively against Aiden and let himself be loved. He couldn’t stay that way long though, after a while he smirked at Aiden.

“Well, as lovely as this is, I don’t know if it’s very inspiring to keep me in your arms. Maybe it will encourage me to take a nap.” He joked.

“Is that so?” Aiden laughed. He pulled Fenris backwards, twisting them both around until Fenris was laying on top of Aiden. The familiar weight of his lover on top of him made Aiden smile.

Fenris looked a little surprised to be pulled around, but he didn’t resist; instead he smiled at Hawke.  Though Fenris had strongly denied he was growing his hair out, the elf’s hair tickled Hawke’s face while they laid together, proving that he had let it grow out a great deal. Gently, Fenris ran his fingers through Hawke’s curls and then traced a finger over the stubble on Aiden’s jaw.

“By the Maker, I do declare you missed me.” Aiden smiled.

With a little rueful smile, Fenris twisted Aiden’s nose some. “You are impossible.”

Before Hawke could say anything more, Fenris devoured his mouth in a sensual kiss. Sliding up a little so he was closer, Fenris slipped his legs around Hawke and put his knees into the mattress. Aiden slid his hands over Fenris’ firm backside, kneading it with his fingers.

A little moan slipped out of Fenris’ mouth and he pushed his butt up into Hawke’s hands. Aiden put a little more force into his touches, responding to Fenris’ silent request. The elf moaned softly against Aiden’s mouth, his fingers slid around Hawke’s neck and held him close. Hawke pulled open the string on Fenris’ pants and gave his length a stroke.

Biting down on Hawke’s lip, Fenris moaned loudly. He released Hawke’s lip with a smirk, “Now you’ve got my attention.” He said, his voice low.

“Good to know.” Aiden beamed. He continued stroking Fenris, their mouths busy getting reacquainted.  

With a little dissatisfied groan, Fenris sat up, and started ripping off his shirt. “Too many clothes.” He said, tossing his shirt across the room. Pulling Hawke up so that he was sitting, he pulled off the shirt that Hawke had worn to bed.

“Why you wear shirts to bed but not drawers, I’ll never understand.” Fenris said with a fond smile.

“I told you, my lower half is in the blanket but my shoulders get cold. But with summer coming soon I’ll sleep naked if that makes it better.” He grinned.

Now that Fenris’ chest was bare, Aiden ran his hands over it, still careful as always around the markings. The marks didn’t hurt Fenris like before, but they would glow and flicker whenever Aiden touched them directly.

Dipping his head, Aiden licked a dark nipple, teasing it for a moment before taking it into his mouth. When he started sucking on it, Fenris put his hand in Hawke’s hair and held him in place.

Since the tie on his pants was loose, Fenris’ dark pants slipped down around his hips, threatening to slide off. Aiden was more than happy to slip them off Fenris’ lovely hips. He ran one hand up the backside of Fenris’ thigh, caressing the skin.

Abruptly, Fenris used his hold on Hawke’s hair to pull him off his chest.

“Wait a minute.” Fenris said, kicking off his pants and leaning over to the nightstand to grab the lube they used.

“What’s your rush?” Aiden said with a smile, rubbing Fenris’ back.

“I was gone for a week.” Fenris said with a little flush on his cheeks. He sat back in Hawke’s lap, knees bent on either side of Hawke’s legs. Sliding his arms around Aiden’s neck, Fenris kissed him. It was surprisingly tender for how restless Fenris was being. With his mouth, Fenris communicated how much he’d missed Aiden; not just in body, but in every way.

Aiden smiled, after all, he’d missed Fenris just as much. The only downside of living together was how used to being together he’d become. There was no way he could get used to sleeping alone after months of sharing the same bed.

“I’m very glad you’re home.” Aiden said softly, running his fingers through Fenris’ silky hair.

Fenris beamed, “Well then show me how much.” He said before taking a bite of Hawke’s neck.

Slicking his fingers up with the lube Fenris had brought over, Hawke began the pleasurable process of loosening up his lover. The feeling of fingernails on his back let Aiden know he was doing it right. Even though Fenris had relaxed in many ways, he wasn’t still very vocal during times like these and simply communicated through touch.

“That’s enough.” The elf said after a while.

Aiden slowly removed his fingers, kissing Fenris. He leaned back, giving Fenris room to maneuver. With his hands on Aiden’s shoulders, Fenris rose up on his knees. Slowly, the two of them helped Fenris’ sit back down, impaling himself on Hawke’s length.

Taking Fenris’ mouth, Hawke kissed him passionately. Running a hand through the soft white hair, Aiden pressed himself as close to Fenris as possible.

Their kiss broke when Fenris started gently rolling his hips. After a minute of moving though, Fenris’ face creased in a deep frown.

“What’s wrong?” Aiden asked concerned.

Wrapping his arms around Aiden, Fenris smoothly flipped them over. The elf was pinned to the bed, his legs and arms holding onto Aiden and a little smile on his face. Inside, Hawke could feel Fenris clench down a little, but then he relaxed.

“Fenris? You’ve got to talk to me.” It was Aiden’s turn to frown. He’d pictured himself on top of Fenris like this more times than he could count, but he’d never expected to actually be here.

“I want to do it like this. Any objections?” Fenris said, his voice soft.

“No.” Aiden said after a moment of thinking about it. “Just a little confused.”

Fenris chuckled, “Well that’s not unusual for you.” He teased, kissing Hawke’s cheek.

“Fair enough.” Aiden said with a chuckle.

Surprisingly, he found himself a little nervous with the position, but those nerves didn’t last long. As he started moving, Fenris gasped and clenched the bedsheets with one hand. Seeing his lover like that was more than enough for Aiden to forget all about his worries, and simply enjoy the experience.

Aiden started with an easy pace, but before long, he wanted more. He took Fenris’ legs from around his waist and hooked them over his arms, then put his hands down on the bed. Taking advantage of their closeness, Fenris pulled him in for a kiss, messy and demanding of Hawke’s mouth.

The new angle allowed Hawke’s every stroke to hit Fenris’ sweet spot as he was pounded into the mattress.

Fenris orgasmed without warning, his body clenching tight when he came, calling Aiden’s name. After a few more thrusts, Aiden joined him, reaching his peak inside of Fenris.

 

Even though he was tempted to just lay down and relax, Aiden was carefully taking care of a boneless Fenris. After pulling out and untangling their limbs, Hawke laid on the bed on his side, pulling Fenris face to face with him.

The elf hadn’t objected to Hawke pulling him around, he only smiled a little when they were laying still.

“Well, that was unexpected.” Aiden said after a while.

Fenris rolled his eyes, “Don’t make a big deal about it, Aiden. I just finally felt that it was time.”

Despite what Fenris said, Aiden wanted to make a very big deal about it. He’d never thought he would be able to lean over Fenris like that.

The rain kept falling outside, hitting the windows.

“Let’s be lazy and stay in bed for a while more.” Aiden said with a yawn.

Fenris didn’t reply, as he was already asleep.

 

Later that afternoon, Hawke was rummaging through the junk room on the second floor of the house. He knew he was something of a packrat and had a very bad habit of collecting many odds and ends but it was still astonishing to him the amount of junk he could collect in only four months.

“What are you looking for?” Fenris asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“The sketchbook I brought with me from Kirkwall. I did a little drawing of that one lake we passed and I want to paint it. I just need to find it.” Aiden explained.

Fenris looked around the room disdainfully, “If I’d known you were getting a house just so you had a room for all this…” He trailed off.

Hawke had heard the complaints before and hardly listened this time. “Here we go!” He pulled one of the travel packs out of a stack of what Hawke had once considered a must have collection of rugs.

“Find it?” Fenris asked.

Hawke shook the bag, it felt mostly empty except for something heavy in the bottom. He reached in and pulled out a wooden box about the size of his palm.

“That’s my bag.” Fenris said, finally coming into the room and looking at what Hawke as doing.

“What’s this?” Hawke shook the box and it jingled a little.

“That’s the gift Weston gave us. Remember?” Fenris took the box from Hawke.

“I’d forgotten, honestly. You never told me what he gave us.” Aiden’s curiosity was piqued when he remembered the box. That day when he’d gone to purchase passage to Rivain, Weston had apparently had words with Fenris and given him something. However, Fenris had put it away before Hawke could see what it was.

“Well, I didn’t think it was that important. I have no idea why he foisted it on me.”

“So? What is it?” Aiden reached for the box.

Fenris held the box out of Hawke’s grasp. “It’s just a few valuable items that I assumed he thought we might need for bartering, plus a page out of a book.”

Aiden wanted the box now more than ever, “What book?” He reached for the box again but Fenris stepped away.

A knock at their front door interrupted them.

“I bet that’s your Lord wanting his portrait.” Fenris pointed out.

Hawke grumbled, “Don’t think I’m forgetting about the box again!” He shook a finger at Fenris and then hurried downstairs.

 

After dealing with the Lord, which took much longer than it should have, Aiden went off in search of Fenris and the box.

He was sitting in the living area, lounging on the sofa and reading a torn piece of paper that Hawke assumed was from the box.

Pulling over his own chair next to Fenris, Hawke eagerly leaned forward.

“So what is that?”

“Poetry. I didn’t really read it before. But it’s quite nice.” Fenris said, turning the page so Hawke could see it as well.

“It’s about love.” Hawke said with a smile when he saw it, “Orleasian love poetry.” Normally he would have made a joke, but this poem was actually fairly decent.

Fenris let the paper drop onto his lap, “You said you loved me once.” He said frankly.

Aiden’s heart did a little flip-flop in his chest and his throat felt tight instantly. “That’s right.” He’d made a proper fool of himself the only time he’d said it.

“You haven’t said it since then.” Again, Fenris spoke in an easy tone, not accusing but rather stating something he found interesting.

However, Aiden began to feel bad. He leaned back and ran a hand through his hair, “Well, it isn’t always about saying it, there is showing your love as well. That’s just as important.”

Fenris made a thoughtful noise and looked at Hawke for a while. “Not according to this though.” He pointed at the poetry.

“Fenris.” Aiden said, hoping his voice didn’t crack this time.

“Yes?”

“I love you.” Aiden said successfully without embarrassing himself. He smiled at Fenris. Maybe the poetry was right, it did feel very nice to say it aloud again.

“Aiden?” Fenris said seriously.

“What?” Hawke couldn’t help the note of ‘oh what did I do wrong now’ in his voice.

“I love you as well.” Fenris said, his serious face lightening into a wide smile.

Hawke shook his head, sure that his hearing was impaired. “Are you sure?”

“I just realized it. Though, I’ve felt it for a long time.” Fenris admitted, the tips of his ears turning red.

With a shout of joy Aiden jumped to his feet. He grabbed Fenris and pulled him up. Without asking for any permission, Aiden swung them around the living room a few times before collapsing back on the sofa, arms still tight around his lover, and laughing.

Fenris laid on top of Hawke and was also laughing, of course, he wasn’t laughing quite as hard, but he seemed more joyful than Hawke had ever seen him.

“Wow. I...” Aiden tried to speak but he couldn’t even find the words.

Smiling, Fenris crawled off Hawke and sat back on the sofa normally. “So it is important to say it.” He said thoughtfully to himself, as if remarking on an interesting lesson.

Aiden laughed again, finally slapping his cheeks a little to calm himself down.

“We are going into town and buying some glass so I can frame that paper forever.” Aiden sat up, still grinning from ear to ear.

“I want the rest of the book this came from.” Fenris said.

At that moment, Aiden would have bought Fenris all the poetry in the world if he asked for it. “Of course. We definitely need the rest of that book. I’ll write Weston and ask him what it came from.”

“You can return these at the same time.” Fenris passed Hawke the box. “I don’t know why he thought we would run out of money or something. But we don’t need them.”

“Well, sometimes jewelry is actually easier to trade with than money if it’s the right person. Besides, if I’d been alone I probably would have run out of money by now.” Hawke laughed and opened the box.

Inside were two beautiful wedding bands, nothing too ornate but neither were they entirely plain. They looked like braided gold, shining brilliantly in the box, both rings were fitted with a small trio of dark green emeralds.

Hawke’s heart clenched when he saw the wedding bands, he knew they were not any ordinary treasure to be used for bartering.

“Fenris?”

“What?” Fenris was reading the poem again.

“Marry me.” Hawke said earnestly.

Fenris looked stunned for a moment, “You’re serious?” He looked at the items in the box. “Oh I see, you saw rings and thought… Hawke, I know you are happy at the moment but don’t get carried away.” He said with a fond smile.

Aiden huffed a little. It wasn’t totally unjust that Fenris thought he was being swept away by the moment, but he was also serious.

“Well, do you have a reason why we shouldn’t get married?” Aiden countered.

Fenris shook his head with a chuckle, “Oh no, I’m not getting into a debate with you about this.”

Hawke sighed and sat back in his seat. He’d never been more sure of anything than marrying Fenris. The bizarre thing was that the idea hadn’t occurred to him before this. With one last little sigh, Hawke let the idea drop, there wasn’t any rush and he was sure he could convince Fenris at some point.

“So now that we are mutually assured of our love-” Aiden started before he heard a little crash upstairs, followed by the scattering sounds of an animal.

“Did you get a cat?” Fenris asked, looking upstairs.

“Sadly, no.” Aiden said before jumping up to find out what was making noise upstairs.

 

“I still don’t see how you could not have noticed four wormlings moving into our second floor.” Fenris said.

“I promise you, I didn’t.” Hawke explained once again. It had been three days since they’d chased the wormlings out of the house and they’d never found out how they got in.

“You always liked dragons a little too much, Hawke.” Fenris teased. “But going so far as getting some as pets…” He ate the last few bites of his breakfast.

Hawke chuckled good-naturedly while Fenris kept on teasing him. Honestly, even though several days had passed, Aiden was still grinning about Fenris’ confession of love. It had been completely unexpected and wonderful. Fenris could tease him about anything right now and Aiden wouldn’t mind at all.

“If you keep it up, I might actually do it at some point.” Aiden joked.

“You do and you’ll be living by yourself.” Fenris countered. “I’m heading out now.”

“Where are you going?” Aiden started washing up their breakfast dishes.

“Just to town. Sounds like there may be a group of slavers using the caves to the north. I want to gather some more information.”

“Slavers? Must be your lucky day.” Aiden smiled, knowing that Fenris still got no end of personal satisfaction in killing slavers.

“Something like that. Try not to get into anymore trouble. And please work on your new painting commission some.” Fenris reminded Aiden before leaving.

“I wouldn’t have tried to be an artist if I’d known it was such work.” Aiden said with a little sigh to himself. He much preferred running around Kirkwall doing odd jobs.

 

After a somewhat boring day by himself, Aiden was debating on what to make for dinner when Fenris came back.

“Hello. Get some good news?” Aiden asked, his head in the pantry, looking for ingredients.

“Possibly. Come with me.” Fenris said briskly.

Hawke quickly looked where he’d gone, but Fenris was already gone. Getting up, Aiden quickly chased after Fenris.

The elf was standing in the middle of the living area, his posture stiff.

“Fenris?” Aiden asked curiously. Mentally, he began making a list of all the things that he’d done lately that might have gotten him into trouble.

With a jerking motion, Fenris thrust the little wood box from Weston into Hawke’s hands. Aiden had mislaid the box right after their initial conversation about it, he hadn’t started to worry about it, but he had wondered where it got to.

“I wondered where that was.” Aiden smiled.

“I don’t appreciate the idea of you proposing to me over Weston’s rings.” Fenris said with a frown.

Hawke nodded in understanding, “Okay, it was a bad idea. I can see that.”

Fenris quickly whisked the box back out of Aiden’s hands. “Good. Then here.” He put the box in the bag on his belt and pulled something else out.

It was a leather wrist cuff, and fastened to the outside was a metal piece that had been hammered into a curve so it fit on the wrist. From the first glace, Hawke could tell that it was one of the distinctive spikes from Fenris’ armor.

“It’s for you.” Fenris said, shuffling his feet a little. He grabbed Aiden’s hand and then went about tying it around Aiden’s wrist.

“There.” Fenris said, finally smiling a little. “Now you have that, and I have this,” Fenris held up his own wrist with the red cloth tied around it. “This sort of thing is better than jewelry. I made this today for you.” His green eyes were looking at Aiden’s wrist, avoiding eye contact.

Very few times in life had Aiden been struck speechless, this was one of those times. He opened his mouth a few times, and no sound at all could come out.

“Is it no good?” Fenris said, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. He finally looked up into Hawke’s eyes. “I’m saying we’re married now. Or something like that anyway.”

“It’s good.” Aiden said, finally finding his voice. “It’s perfect.” He amended.

Fenris smiled, one of his rare deep smiles that made his eyes sparkle, “I’m glad.” He pulled Aiden down for a kiss.

Smiling, Aiden scooped Fenris up, holding him off his feet.

“Put me down.” Fenris said, breaking their kiss.

Aiden grinned, “Oh, I don’t think so.”

“I knew you would make a scene. You could simply react calmly, you know… Where are we going?” He asked when Aiden started carrying him away.

“Where do you think we’re going?” Hawke laughed. “My husband.”

“You aren’t really going to start calling me that, are you?” He wrapped his legs around Aiden’s waist so he could walk easier.

Hawke grinned when he noticed that Fenris hadn’t actually said ‘no’ like he had to the other terms of endearment. “I’ll only call you that occasionally, my husband.”

“Somehow I’m actually looking forward to Varric summoning us back to Kirkwall. You need a good adventure to clear you head a little of all this fluff.”

“So long as you go with me, Fenris, I’ll go anywhere.” Aiden promised, kicking shut the door to their bedroom. With a wave of his hand, the fireplace was roaring with a warm fire that should keep the couple cozy for the rest of the night.

“Yes, I will stay at your side anywhere we go.” Fenris vowed. He put his hand on Hawke’s chin and kissed him sweet and deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who made it this far. And a really big thanks to those who have been reading for the 1 year + that I've been writing this. 
> 
> I still intend on making a sequel to take place during DA:I where Fenris and Hawke go to the Inquistion together. I'm going to try and write most of it before posting though, so I don't leave you all hanging so long for the next update. 
> 
> Thanks again friends!


End file.
